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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Wrentham, MA
Posts: 1
New here
Hi everyone. I'm new to the site. After being a heavy alcoholic for a little over 2 years I am now 38 days sober! The first week was horrendous, but after that it seemed pretty managable. Now, however, I have been struggling hardcore for the past week. In fact it took a lot of mental power to shut my alcohol brain up when I hit my 30 days. My brain (I now think of my brain as 2 seperate entities; my brain and my alcohol brain) kept trying to convince me that going and getting a bottle of wine was the perfect way to celebrate that milestone. It just seems to be getting harder and harder every day lately to keep myself away from the liquor store. My kids are an awesome support system. Whenever they see me struggling they suggest an activity or simply talk to me until my normal brain is back. It makes me feel guilty having to rely on my children as my support system, but my husband has his own issues, and hard as he tries to support me, he tends to just make it worse. Ok, this was much longer than I expected it to be. Basically, I was wondering if anyone out there had any other tips to keeping sober. I know they say one day at a time, but lately it is one minute at a time, and I fear giving in. Well, thank you all for listening! I'm really hoping this site will help me. Thanks again for listening!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Virginia
Posts: 86
Welcome DG. Sober Recovery is a great tool. You may like the book Rational Recovery too. You have already hit on the key element in the book: your voice vs. your addictive voice. Definitely AA has been a blessing to me as well. Good luck to you and I know you can do it. I'm no expert but one tip I have (and I don't know how old your children are but) I do believe that children or even our adult kids should not be burdened with our problems or feel responsible to take care of us. That is where AA comes in. Friendship and fellowship and alcoholics helping each other. That's just my opinion. Certainly my child/adult child supports me in my own efforts to maintain sobriety by going to AA and calling on other alcoholics here too. Again welcome!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 146
First of all, welcome to SR, you can find all kinds of support and answers to any questions you have about recovery from alcohol and addiction here! There is a wealth of knowledge and encouragement here, come back often!
I remember the first 30 days as being horrendous for me. I use that memory over and over to help me stay strong. I don't EVER want to go through that again. The disease is ingrained in your thoughts so whenever you get thoughts like, "oh, just one won't hurt" it is the disease attempting to get you to go back to the old comfortable rut...Any thoughts like that are the disease whispering in your ear... I counteracted those thoughts with reading recovery literature from AA and NA, going to meetings, anything to quiet those cravings and urges.
You will have good and bad days. That is normal. We are used to fixing bad days with chemicals for an "instant" good day.
Congratulations on 38 days. I used to think I couldn't make it two days, but I have a "we program" and I don't stay sober alone. Me and a bunch of crazy new wonderful friends all stay sober together, and I am 19 months now.
The first week was horrendous, but after that it seemed pretty managable. Now, however, I have been struggling hardcore for the past week.
You will have good and bad days. That is normal. We are used to fixing bad days with chemicals for an "instant" good day.
Congratulations on 38 days. I used to think I couldn't make it two days, but I have a "we program" and I don't stay sober alone. Me and a bunch of crazy new wonderful friends all stay sober together, and I am 19 months now.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Aberdeen SD
Posts: 180
Drunk Dreams
Originally Posted by DG10496 
Basically, I was wondering if anyone out there had any other tips to keeping sober.
I'm glad you joined us. You'll find lots of support here. Congrats on your sober time. 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 7
I quit about 6 months ago and im now at a stage where i know i wont touch a drop again , im that confident and i feel fine so i will try to help you get there.
Alcohol is a drug but its not part of you as a person . meaning that you are no different to any other person that does or doesn't have an alcohol problem.
Its not a disease that you catch or that one person should have more than another.
You wasn't born with any part of you needing alcohol , you started drinking for whatever reason and the habit/addiction kicked in and because of that you have these problems that your struggling to remove from your life.
you have been off alcohol for a while so the addiction for alcohol is wearing off as far as your body wanting it.
Its now more of a problem in your mind which you can take full control of and change by understanding what is actually happening inside your mind.
When you understand exactly what is happening mentally you will find it much easier to deal with to the point where you can actually be and feel exactly the same way someone does that has never touched a drop in their life. ..I feel that way now already
I believe that your problem now is not the actual alcohol or lack of it but more of a habitual way of thinking from the past.
You were drinking for a long time and your subconscious part of the brain learned a behaviour that was reinforced every time you drank and thought about it.
although you quit the alcohol and theres absolutley no need for it in your body your subconscious does not really understand that. it just knows the habits and way of thinking from the past.
Its best to study a little bit about the subconscious mind by watching videos on youtube or reading.
Basically the subconscious is like a machine that does not think anything or care .. its just continues doing what it has learnt from your way of thinking.
It continues to do what its always done untill its changed by you
Your not drinking anyore but the subconcious continues to throw you towards it because thats all it knows what to do.
its no different to the way it sends your left foot to the clutch while driving a car without you having to think about it and that wont change either unless your think about a new way to do it.
Its not really that you need alcohol its your subconcious putting you in a difficult situation over and over again - its like a music cd on repeat.
The cd player does not care about what people hear or change by itself.
You didn't need alcohol before you started drinking and you never need it again in the future .. and your not a label ie .. alchoholic
you just had a bad habit which you can change.
your the same as anyone you know that does not drink
You have to free yourself from the cycle and change your way of thinking to move on with your life.
Your subconcious behaviour is fueled only by thoughts not by the actions so every single thought you have that is related to alcohol is reinforcing the problem that you have now.
You need to take control of your mind and change it or it will drag on for ages with you feeling this way or could cause it to fail.
Its only going to stop when the subconcious thoughts that you now have have changed.
Thats as important as not drinking alchol right now because untill thats changed your not completely free and its the reason so many people fall back into drinking again in the future.
They didn't really know what to do
The subconcious is trained by your thoughts in the past to send you to get the alcohol and your fighting it with your conscious part of the brain now so its a constant battle.
Thats whats causing you to feel hardcore.
You now need to manipulate the subconscious which can only be done with your thoughts - Everytime your mind wonders and thinks about alcohol you are basically making the problem worse - its a set back and the opposite to changing your habit. its actually giving the old habit more chance of returning.
What you need to do is find a way to quickly move away from that thought of alcohol and replace it with something else then eventully its stops altogether
Were creatures of habit so we need to understand exactly what habits are and how they can be changed in our minds
What you think about in your life you get more of .. thats a fact
you cant really get what your not thinking about.
A habit like alcohol does not just turn up . it did not come looking for you.
you accepted it .
The subconscious can only be changed by the pictures we create in our minds
its only changed by the images that we create , what you think about and picture is constantly changing your subconscious.
Its wont change with one or two thoughts .. you have to show it that new image a lot of times before it completely changes.
Also feel it at the same time even if you dont want to.
You have to!
Its hard for a while to get used to it but no harder than craving 24/7 for something that your body does not need.
Your body does not want to be destroyed by alcohol.
You basically need to start picturing yourself as someone that has never drank alcohol before and do not want to in the future
You have to create that story.
and you cannot do that by thinking about the actual alcohol .. Every single thought about alcohol is a step in the wrong direction
Never ever think about a time in the future that you can have or deserve or drink because you dont need it and your chances of quitting is reduced.
instead replace that thought with something like feeling good in the future that you reached 12 months and looking forward to another year without it
when you have that craving feeling immediately switch to an image in your mind of drinking something else like a nice cold glass of water on a hot day
do it over and over and feel yourself enjoying that instead.
or something else that you enjoy - We all have things that we enjoy or a memory of a time before drinking .
work at it over and over hundreds of times and then watch the habit leave .
repitition is the key.
eventually you will just move on with your new way of living and feel glad that its over.
You have to believe it and even if you dont feel confident you are capable of thinking this way even if it does not come natural right now
evetually you really will feel that way
I could go on all day lol but it would be easier to give you links to videos that help me get through it
look on youtube for videos on the subconscious brain
i cant link but one that i started on is called ' The Secret To Subconscious Mind Control #1 ' by richard petrie
Bob proctor is also good
gl
Alcohol is a drug but its not part of you as a person . meaning that you are no different to any other person that does or doesn't have an alcohol problem.
Its not a disease that you catch or that one person should have more than another.
You wasn't born with any part of you needing alcohol , you started drinking for whatever reason and the habit/addiction kicked in and because of that you have these problems that your struggling to remove from your life.
you have been off alcohol for a while so the addiction for alcohol is wearing off as far as your body wanting it.
Its now more of a problem in your mind which you can take full control of and change by understanding what is actually happening inside your mind.
When you understand exactly what is happening mentally you will find it much easier to deal with to the point where you can actually be and feel exactly the same way someone does that has never touched a drop in their life. ..I feel that way now already
I believe that your problem now is not the actual alcohol or lack of it but more of a habitual way of thinking from the past.
You were drinking for a long time and your subconscious part of the brain learned a behaviour that was reinforced every time you drank and thought about it.
although you quit the alcohol and theres absolutley no need for it in your body your subconscious does not really understand that. it just knows the habits and way of thinking from the past.
Its best to study a little bit about the subconscious mind by watching videos on youtube or reading.
Basically the subconscious is like a machine that does not think anything or care .. its just continues doing what it has learnt from your way of thinking.
It continues to do what its always done untill its changed by you
Your not drinking anyore but the subconcious continues to throw you towards it because thats all it knows what to do.
its no different to the way it sends your left foot to the clutch while driving a car without you having to think about it and that wont change either unless your think about a new way to do it.
Its not really that you need alcohol its your subconcious putting you in a difficult situation over and over again - its like a music cd on repeat.
The cd player does not care about what people hear or change by itself.
You didn't need alcohol before you started drinking and you never need it again in the future .. and your not a label ie .. alchoholic
you just had a bad habit which you can change.
your the same as anyone you know that does not drink
You have to free yourself from the cycle and change your way of thinking to move on with your life.
Your subconcious behaviour is fueled only by thoughts not by the actions so every single thought you have that is related to alcohol is reinforcing the problem that you have now.
You need to take control of your mind and change it or it will drag on for ages with you feeling this way or could cause it to fail.
Its only going to stop when the subconcious thoughts that you now have have changed.
Thats as important as not drinking alchol right now because untill thats changed your not completely free and its the reason so many people fall back into drinking again in the future.
They didn't really know what to do
The subconcious is trained by your thoughts in the past to send you to get the alcohol and your fighting it with your conscious part of the brain now so its a constant battle.
Thats whats causing you to feel hardcore.
You now need to manipulate the subconscious which can only be done with your thoughts - Everytime your mind wonders and thinks about alcohol you are basically making the problem worse - its a set back and the opposite to changing your habit. its actually giving the old habit more chance of returning.
What you need to do is find a way to quickly move away from that thought of alcohol and replace it with something else then eventully its stops altogether
Were creatures of habit so we need to understand exactly what habits are and how they can be changed in our minds
What you think about in your life you get more of .. thats a fact
you cant really get what your not thinking about.
A habit like alcohol does not just turn up . it did not come looking for you.
you accepted it .
The subconscious can only be changed by the pictures we create in our minds
its only changed by the images that we create , what you think about and picture is constantly changing your subconscious.
Its wont change with one or two thoughts .. you have to show it that new image a lot of times before it completely changes.
Also feel it at the same time even if you dont want to.
You have to!
Its hard for a while to get used to it but no harder than craving 24/7 for something that your body does not need.
Your body does not want to be destroyed by alcohol.
You basically need to start picturing yourself as someone that has never drank alcohol before and do not want to in the future
You have to create that story.
and you cannot do that by thinking about the actual alcohol .. Every single thought about alcohol is a step in the wrong direction
Never ever think about a time in the future that you can have or deserve or drink because you dont need it and your chances of quitting is reduced.
instead replace that thought with something like feeling good in the future that you reached 12 months and looking forward to another year without it
when you have that craving feeling immediately switch to an image in your mind of drinking something else like a nice cold glass of water on a hot day
do it over and over and feel yourself enjoying that instead.
or something else that you enjoy - We all have things that we enjoy or a memory of a time before drinking .
work at it over and over hundreds of times and then watch the habit leave .
repitition is the key.
eventually you will just move on with your new way of living and feel glad that its over.
You have to believe it and even if you dont feel confident you are capable of thinking this way even if it does not come natural right now
evetually you really will feel that way
I could go on all day lol but it would be easier to give you links to videos that help me get through it
look on youtube for videos on the subconscious brain
i cant link but one that i started on is called ' The Secret To Subconscious Mind Control #1 ' by richard petrie
Bob proctor is also good
gl
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Island Park , NY
Posts: 373
Welcome DG, If I had kids and they saw me with a problem and offered to hang out with me or just talk to me i'd be a proud parent to have raised them wih such insight and compassion! Keep up the good work , you can do it! Stay Strong and Well! Bobby
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