Lost my empathy??
Lost my empathy??
I haven't posted too much. Read a lot. Sometimes (a lot lately) I have nothing helpful to add. Then there are THOSE posts. The ones I want to say, WAT the heck are you thinking. I feel like I'm losing the soft side. I want to be kind, I don't want to scare anyone away. But sometimes I want to take a trip through cyber space and kick some butt!!!
Am I alone? Or shall I build the cyber-ship for multiple people?
Am I alone? Or shall I build the cyber-ship for multiple people?
I think we all have ups and downs, good days and bad days.
I find if I'm in a butt kicking mood, it's best to log off, cos it's usually more about me than it is about whoever I'm responding to.
D
I find if I'm in a butt kicking mood, it's best to log off, cos it's usually more about me than it is about whoever I'm responding to.
D
Not everyone can tolerate everything we see or read. We do have the option of ignoring that which makes us uncomfortable, and just being happier in general with what we as individuals have accomplished in life. Just my opinion.
In any public forum there will be negative people or folks that just want to push their agenda. There are only a few here that I see doing that but it does get a bit much sometimes.
Did you know that you can choose to not see a person's post's? It is very easy...
Just click on their name and a list will pop up.
Scroll down to the bottom of that list
Click on 'Add _______ to your ignore list'
Whenever they post in a thread you are viewing, their post will not be readable. If you are curious or want to see it, there is a button on the upper right of their post that says 'view post'. This will allow you to see the post but they will remain on your ignore list. There is also a button on the lower right, I believe, that says 'Remove from your ignore list' and that will allow you to see all their post's again. Most forums have this feature.
I hope this helps..... and you don't just block me now! LOL!
I also sometimes want to tell folks off but then I hear my Mom saying... 'If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything!'. So, I and I move on to the next thread.
Did you know that you can choose to not see a person's post's? It is very easy...
Just click on their name and a list will pop up.
Scroll down to the bottom of that list
Click on 'Add _______ to your ignore list'
Whenever they post in a thread you are viewing, their post will not be readable. If you are curious or want to see it, there is a button on the upper right of their post that says 'view post'. This will allow you to see the post but they will remain on your ignore list. There is also a button on the lower right, I believe, that says 'Remove from your ignore list' and that will allow you to see all their post's again. Most forums have this feature.
I hope this helps..... and you don't just block me now! LOL!
I also sometimes want to tell folks off but then I hear my Mom saying... 'If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything!'. So, I and I move on to the next thread.
When I first got sober, and when I was all sad and mad and sick, or acting crazy, my parents would say "Just snap out of it!!!"
......and I would think to myself, "You have absolutely no idea."
Sometimes I have to remind myself of this.
......and I would think to myself, "You have absolutely no idea."
Sometimes I have to remind myself of this.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: canada
Posts: 748
I know where you're coming from. SR can be quite a roller coaster of experience. The more time that goes along the more I admire some of the members here who are like tireless saints and always seem to have just the right thing to say.
I know what you mean Raider. I don't post unless I really feel like it might be helpful. I have also learned not to post on certain member's threads.
I try to be positive when I do post, there is enough negativity out there in life, we don't need it here too. It helped to have some sober time before I realized this.
I try to be positive when I do post, there is enough negativity out there in life, we don't need it here too. It helped to have some sober time before I realized this.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
People often post provocative comments, sometimes unintentionally. It helps to remember where I am.
I'm in the group that's learned that when I'm not feeling quite right, or when I need to address something about which I'm either not fully aware or over which I'm procrastinating, the things people say and do that would otherwise have no effect on me can get under my skin.
That's only one reason why a program of recovery is so valuable to me.
I'm in the group that's learned that when I'm not feeling quite right, or when I need to address something about which I'm either not fully aware or over which I'm procrastinating, the things people say and do that would otherwise have no effect on me can get under my skin.
That's only one reason why a program of recovery is so valuable to me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
Raider I do a lot of back spacing. But when we are new to recovery, there is a lot of
fear, and self pity, and justifying our behavior that we are not even aware we are doing.
I try to stay away from threads that affect me negatively, sometimes I will let a condescending
comment of my own slide and I always regret it later.
It's like I am one step behind the holy spirit if you know what I mean.
My heart is always convicted later. I need to be more patient with new people. I was a newcomer
once too and I seem to forget that.
My behavior and thoughts are always evolving. I probably posted something 3 months ago that of
which my whole perpsective may have changed since then .
As I continue myself to grow up emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
fear, and self pity, and justifying our behavior that we are not even aware we are doing.
I try to stay away from threads that affect me negatively, sometimes I will let a condescending
comment of my own slide and I always regret it later.
It's like I am one step behind the holy spirit if you know what I mean.
My heart is always convicted later. I need to be more patient with new people. I was a newcomer
once too and I seem to forget that.
My behavior and thoughts are always evolving. I probably posted something 3 months ago that of
which my whole perpsective may have changed since then .
As I continue myself to grow up emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
Last edited by deeker; 04-11-2014 at 08:08 PM. Reason: add
Hey Raider. There are some days I come on here and find it a little overwhelming to read all the misery we all face when first getting sober. It is so raw. For me it touches sore spots because it reminds me of things that I have done. We see people doing things that we did in the past, things we found to be big mistakes for ourselves and our sobriety. It gets me down at times and I need to take a break but not completely go away. We were all brand new and struggling at one point.
I saw you started this and had to read because I was thinking of you and hadn't seen posts by you and am glad you put this one up.
I saw you started this and had to read because I was thinking of you and hadn't seen posts by you and am glad you put this one up.
Some days I'm all nummy nummy and everything makes sense and I'm in total help mode.
Other days I'm like - give me a flaking break ! Why make the journey so much more difficult than it needs to be ?
I do think, my friend, that it's all a part of it.
Healing and wholing.
And, ultimately, learning about ourselves...
XO AO
Other days I'm like - give me a flaking break ! Why make the journey so much more difficult than it needs to be ?
I do think, my friend, that it's all a part of it.
Healing and wholing.
And, ultimately, learning about ourselves...
XO AO
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Some days I'm all nummy nummy and everything makes sense and I'm in total help mode.
Other days I'm like - give me a flaking break ! Why make the journey so much more difficult than it needs to be ?
I do think, my friend, that it's all a part of it.
Healing and wholing.
And, ultimately, learning about ourselves...
XO AO
Other days I'm like - give me a flaking break ! Why make the journey so much more difficult than it needs to be ?
I do think, my friend, that it's all a part of it.
Healing and wholing.
And, ultimately, learning about ourselves...
XO AO
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 400
I validate your post Raider. You have had your ups and downs the last couple of months.
Some of you posts were so positive and helpful and others were not so much.
That's indicative of the swings we all feel and are going through. Perhaps you were spending too much time on SR. We are all different.
I try to post on my November class group once a week on my weekly anniversary.
I try to check in with Venuscat and Deeker on the 24 hour page a couple of times a week.
I scroll thru the posts every few days and see where I might interject some helpful words.
Someone said on this thread that we cant save everyone. Its true. We are a collective group of drunks that all have something to share at some point. Do what you can to help someone, do more to help yourself.
I have been having a particularily tough week with the old desires popping up. I have to say at 5 months, this week has been tougher than even the first couple. I spent more time on SR this week. Just reading, not so much posting. It helped for sure, as another Friday night has passed spending time with the club soda.
Maybe try to take the weight off your shoulders of feeling its up to you to save everyone.
We are all proud of you. Keep posting, keep reading, keep up the great progress.
Rick
Some of you posts were so positive and helpful and others were not so much.
That's indicative of the swings we all feel and are going through. Perhaps you were spending too much time on SR. We are all different.
I try to post on my November class group once a week on my weekly anniversary.
I try to check in with Venuscat and Deeker on the 24 hour page a couple of times a week.
I scroll thru the posts every few days and see where I might interject some helpful words.
Someone said on this thread that we cant save everyone. Its true. We are a collective group of drunks that all have something to share at some point. Do what you can to help someone, do more to help yourself.
I have been having a particularily tough week with the old desires popping up. I have to say at 5 months, this week has been tougher than even the first couple. I spent more time on SR this week. Just reading, not so much posting. It helped for sure, as another Friday night has passed spending time with the club soda.
Maybe try to take the weight off your shoulders of feeling its up to you to save everyone.
We are all proud of you. Keep posting, keep reading, keep up the great progress.
Rick
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