Excuses
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 457
Excuses
I'm sober at the moment but can recognise when I start to near feelings of wanting a drink. Posting this as I've been having those thoughts the last few days.
Next comes excuses - a conversation I have with myself, but I've usually made up my mind at the beginning (to drink), and the internal dialogue is more to justify why I'll start again 'tomorrow'.
All the incredible tools I've leant to use and what to apply aside, I do still wish my mind just didn't work like this. I feel in control, but the whole idea that I can lose that, and it's me who allows it to happen to myself, can be really disheartening.
Next comes excuses - a conversation I have with myself, but I've usually made up my mind at the beginning (to drink), and the internal dialogue is more to justify why I'll start again 'tomorrow'.
All the incredible tools I've leant to use and what to apply aside, I do still wish my mind just didn't work like this. I feel in control, but the whole idea that I can lose that, and it's me who allows it to happen to myself, can be really disheartening.
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
I'm just glad I'm not the only one who has conversations with myself in my head! 
The best way for me to get through that is to talk to someone about it. My brain tells me not to, that I can handle it myself. My history is proof that that's not true.
The best way for me to get through that is to talk to someone about it. My brain tells me not to, that I can handle it myself. My history is proof that that's not true.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
I can't speak for all those ahead of me
that learned how to remain sober a day
at a time with a program of recovery
used as a guideline, never having thoughts
like the ones you have, because more than
like they have, just like I.
When thoughts like that creep in my
mind, I dig deeper into all those tools,
all those drinking tapes, all those consequences
as a result of it, what brought me to the
doors of recovery, and mostly why I want to
remain sober no matter what.
My will always lost. Always failed because
addiction is soooo strong. Sooooo baffling.
And soooo powerful.
I will not give in to its urges. It's temptation.
It's evilness. Its destruction.
I gather anything or anyone I can grab
ahold of to help me. I don't care how
I feel about asking for help because
I need it. I will use anyone I can to
guide me and help me not drink.
So for I haven't had anyone turn away
from me just for asking for help and guidance
to get past all those low points in my life.
People in recovery are there for me to help
me and the reward is them staying sober
one one day themselves.
Stay strong and willing to do whatever
you need to do to stay sober today.
that learned how to remain sober a day
at a time with a program of recovery
used as a guideline, never having thoughts
like the ones you have, because more than
like they have, just like I.
When thoughts like that creep in my
mind, I dig deeper into all those tools,
all those drinking tapes, all those consequences
as a result of it, what brought me to the
doors of recovery, and mostly why I want to
remain sober no matter what.
My will always lost. Always failed because
addiction is soooo strong. Sooooo baffling.
And soooo powerful.
I will not give in to its urges. It's temptation.
It's evilness. Its destruction.
I gather anything or anyone I can grab
ahold of to help me. I don't care how
I feel about asking for help because
I need it. I will use anyone I can to
guide me and help me not drink.
So for I haven't had anyone turn away
from me just for asking for help and guidance
to get past all those low points in my life.
People in recovery are there for me to help
me and the reward is them staying sober
one one day themselves.
Stay strong and willing to do whatever
you need to do to stay sober today.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,303
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Hi Kys I found the longer I stayed sober the less I had those internal arguments - every day you stay sober is helping quiet that voice within you stay strong D
I found the longer I stayed sober the less I had those internal arguments - every day you stay sober is helping quiet that voice within you stay strong DRaleighSoxFan
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 105
You are not unique in recovery....let that sink in. As an addict, we often believe we are the center of the universe and no one "understands".
I've said it before, and I will say it again.....it has helped me and some others.
We are not unique. The feelings I've felt, you feel, and others will feel in recovery are normal. As an addict I thought my problems were so desperate that no one understood and I created an environment where I justified using because my problems were "SO INTENSE". Sure others have quit before me, but they haven't walked in "MY SHOES".
This is all bunk. Thinking that way pressures us to use. It all became easier to deal with once I realized my anxieties were normal and my feelings were not unique. It made fighting cravings MUCH EASIER. My cravings were less frightening because I wasn't in unchartered areas. The feelings i had have been overcome before by others and my feelings, EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE MINE, WERE NO MORE DIFFICULT TO DEAL WITH THAN OTHERS BEFORE OR AFTER ME. There is always someone who's had it much worse that made it through. We get it, being an addict is terrible, but there is nothing that will happen in our lives that could justify the use of our drug of choice. I merely stopped creating reasons to drink and starting using my situations and fear as fuel to get out of the frying pan.
I've said it before, and I will say it again.....it has helped me and some others.
We are not unique. The feelings I've felt, you feel, and others will feel in recovery are normal. As an addict I thought my problems were so desperate that no one understood and I created an environment where I justified using because my problems were "SO INTENSE". Sure others have quit before me, but they haven't walked in "MY SHOES".
This is all bunk. Thinking that way pressures us to use. It all became easier to deal with once I realized my anxieties were normal and my feelings were not unique. It made fighting cravings MUCH EASIER. My cravings were less frightening because I wasn't in unchartered areas. The feelings i had have been overcome before by others and my feelings, EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE MINE, WERE NO MORE DIFFICULT TO DEAL WITH THAN OTHERS BEFORE OR AFTER ME. There is always someone who's had it much worse that made it through. We get it, being an addict is terrible, but there is nothing that will happen in our lives that could justify the use of our drug of choice. I merely stopped creating reasons to drink and starting using my situations and fear as fuel to get out of the frying pan.
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