Snood

Sorry folks, gotta vent...

Wifey.wasn't drunk today...although 1.1/2 bottles of fizzy from last night were probably still effective.

She's had her talons out all day long. Seems I'm a liar, and a nasty piece of.work. Tonight's stand-up.comic will perform without us, as will my musical hero in May...she 'doesn't want.to go.

All this is about a text she.found. My counsellor has.effectively told wifey to f**k off after she'd moaned about my starting an Al-Anon group locally.

Well, I'm the kind.of.piece.of work who climbs three flights of stairs (with my stick) to build her.daughter a.cabinet. The.kind who taks.her.to.her.meals with.friends, and gets her a.coffee kachine, adding 8 miles to track.down filters. Not any more.

Fume

Weak, malicious, sarcastic, self-centered, hurtful...need I say more? Yes, her days.at numbered.

lillamy

Go on your own. Don't wait for her to live your life. That is of course not advice, just a gut reaction.

You know what someone in Al-Anon told me when I was about where you are? "Your life won't change until you stop trying to convince the A and start living the life you want."

theuncertainty

Man, I'm sorry, Snood. AXH never said a single word of appreciation for the out-of-the-way things I did for him or our family. (And often had nasty things to say instead.) Yet, he expected continuous, repetitive, constant praise when he remembered to do routine things he'd agreed to do. Tiring. Maddening.

I agree with Lillamy. So what if she doesn't want to go? You can still go. Perfectly legit to call up a friend to say 'Hey, I've got an extra ticket!' or go alone. When I sat around waiting for AXH to actually go to ___ with DS and I, we never got to go. It took a long, long time (like after I'd moved out and was still waiting for him to do stuff with us when he said he would) to realize that I didn't have to put a hold on doing things I wanted to do just because AXH would rather drink, or pass out, or stomp and shout, or... Life passed us by while I waited for him. Life is far too short to keep putting things on hold.

embraced2000

wow. having flashbacks here. I heard once that trying to get support from an addict is like going to the hardware store to buy a loaf of bread. how true that was for me. once I stopped trying to buy bread in weird places, my life began to make more sense. it was a slow process. my brain was so twisted up from living in the chaos and insanity with eah. the thing that helped me most was doing something good for myself everyday. and believe me, that idea was so foreign to me that I didn't know how to begin. but I did begin. and pretty soon, it was routine. try to be kind to yourself today, just once.

Florence

Is there any reason why you can't go by yourself or ask a friend to join you?

CodeJob

Snood. Hope your BIL is faring alright.

BoxinRotz

Take your other lady friend you've been emailing!

MissFixit

That is what I was thinking too.

KateL

To be honest, I don't blame you for being at the end of your tether and numbering her days. From the other side, I would never wish some of my behaviours on anyone. Tough stuff. I wish you well xxxxx

Snood

Thanks, CodeJob He's had his biopsy and we're waiting for the result.

Snood

I decided to have the theatre re-sell the tickets, owing to lack of money!

Snood

Wish I could but she's married :-)

Snood

Tank you, chums, I've calmed down now, with your help. Sorry about the poor typing in the first post - anger and a smartphone...bad combination!

I went to the Spring shoot at the rifle club, with pleasant, affable people who appreciate my presence. All that and 94 to 96% scores!

But it hurt for my not-very-darling wife to remind me that the last time I tried to kiss her, she squeaked and ran away.

She admitted to 'flaunting' her alcohol consumption...I had noticed.

On returning home, I was given the 'deaf & dumb' treatment, plus instructions about the laundry.

Such an angry person. Yet she can't drink her dysfunctional daughter and son away and I won't be the whipping boy for their shortcomings.

Plans are in hand

BoxinRotz

Dude... you are such a playa! And here I thought you were chatting up a single woman and she's got a dog leash on too! DANG.... lol

maggies

What is "fizzy"?? I assume wine or liquor?

Snood

It's cheap Spanish Cava...kind of champagne stuff

Snood

I suppose I am a playa! I left her in '76, for the one who became my first wife. She contacted me via a work forum...only 38 years later!

maggies

It sounds very expensive. I'm glad my husband stuck to the cheap stuff.

Snood

It's about £5, or $8.37 for a 750cl bottle. She gets six on a shopping trip. They don't last the week out.

CodeJob

Snood,

How are your meds? Are they helping your mood? Are you still seeing a therapist? You sound unhappy. What is your plan to change that?