shari07

Ok so it's been 2 months since ex abf moved out. About 3 weeks later my daughter(19) and I had it out because her and her bf(22) lived with me and I kept catching them smoking pot in my house, we are not speaking. Then I hear from domestic relations my ex husband was on disability thru work and they are shutting him off so therefore I will not be getting child support for my 15 yr old twins. I'm sinking into a hole..... I thought life was supposed to get better after the alcoholic is gone. In the mean time I try to have no contact with him, but can't completely block him because he pays for my health insurance, if I block him he will stop. I randomly get texts from him I usually don't respond. But he's always sending me texts pretty much saying how great his life is, he went to the dr all healthy, he's on vacation in florida( a trip we were supposed to go on) well Tuesday was my bday so I went out with a friend and a guy I know gave me a hug for my bday and next thing I know my ex is texting me acting like I was cheating on him ??? I turn around and see my ex's roommate, he text my ex who is Florida to tell him this. It's ridiculous that anyone should be in my business. I know I should have not cared and ignored his texts but we got into a huge text battle and now I feel like I'm back to day 1 of our break up. I did finally go to the dr and got an antidepressant, I hope it helps me. I also got the name of a therapist going to call next week. I have such a hard time sharing this stuff with people face to face(anyone else like this?) so I procrastinate, also why I still haven't gone to al anon. Ok I hope this makes sense, im not a good writer that's why I don't post much, I just had to get this out. I'm sorry it's long

ichabod

I'm like that too Shari. I don't mind talking about my life, but I'm not big on doing it in person. I think the most important thing is to have an outlet to get the feelings out, whether it is Alanon, therapy, journaling or whatever. Just don't hold it in.

I'm sorry you are having so many struggles at once. Life can be so overwhelming. My advice is to refuse to engage in your ex's drama. You can't control anything at all except your reactions, so just don't respond. If he doesn't get a reaction he will eventually give up. Hang in there.

lillamy

Yep. I procrastinated with finding a therapist until I was a complete wreck. And I think the first three times I saw her, she didn't get a word in edgewise. It was really like I had blown my top and everything just came flowing out! And it was such a relief afterwards -- just to be able to tell someone everything and have them tell me "you are not crazy. Your life is. But you're amazing to be still standing after all that!"

Al-Anon was different for me -- I never felt that I had to speak there. The first few times, I just listened and cried, and that was OK. So don't be too afraid to go there. Nobody's going to force you to say anything -- you can just say "Hi, I'm shari. I'm just going to listen today."

Pia

Shari07- I am very sorry you are going through such a hard time. Things in life can be very overwhelming and its scary at times. But things will change just remember it will not always be this way. Try to get some help with Al-Anon or Therapy and keep posting here.
As hard as it is sometimes I try to just focus on all the positives.
Ex : The twins are so cute and loveable and I will always have these memories with them.

Sending you hugs