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I can't i can't i can't

Old 04-10-2014, 11:08 AM
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Jus
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Talking I can't i can't i can't

I think I'm going to start to count all the I CAN'TS I read daily.

Once again, I'm adding the thread I started in hope it will
flip your thinking, because..........


YOU CAN
WE CAN


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-epidemic.html

You've got some work to do. Roll those sleeves up.

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Old 04-10-2014, 02:35 PM
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I believe we are all capable of amazing things

D
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Old 04-10-2014, 02:41 PM
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Let's play a game:
You count the "I Can'ts" and I count the "Yeah Buts" whomever has the highest number gets to post the "I Told You Sos"
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Old 04-10-2014, 02:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Carlotta View Post
Let's play a game:
You count the "I Can'ts" and I count the "Yeah Buts" whomever has the highest number gets to post the "I Told You Sos"
Don't forget "I won't's..." "I will not's...." and "I would but's..."
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Old 04-10-2014, 02:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Carlotta View Post
Let's play a game:
You count the "I Can'ts" and I count the "Yeah Buts" whomever has the highest number gets to post the "I Told You Sos"
Yeah but I can't keep track of everybody who said I told you so!
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Old 04-10-2014, 03:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Jus View Post
I think I'm going to start to count all the I CAN'TS I read daily.

Once again, I'm adding the thread I started in hope it will
flip your thinking, because..........


YOU CAN
WE CAN

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-epidemic.html

You've got some work to do. Roll those sleeves up.

Thanks for this, Jus. I find myself (sad, maybe, but necessary) having to actively avoid some negative threads. They're somewhat triggering for me in my tenuous, raw, new sober days! Reading enough "I can't" and I begin to believe/feel/internalize it as well.

Not that I don't believe in freedom of speech and that if you're struggling you shouldn't post here - au contraire - I just know, for me, it's not healthy to hear wallowing and helpless grumbling that doesn't have the intent or the active motivation to seek improvement. I try my best to contribute in a positive way to these forums and I continue to search out the positive entries here. There will always be naysayers, I suppose but thank you for this, it affirms that it's not just me that sees a lot of undirected, seemingly unfruitful "complaining".

Again, not judging anyone, I know we're all at different stages and some of them REALLY DO suck. Recovery isn't easy by any stretch of the term. It's not supposed to be! But while pain is unavoidable, it's really actually beneficial, used correctly, right?! (I do find myself wishing though, that "yeah but" would be listed as an expletive and x-ed out of the post. )

I don't intend to hurt ANYONE with this post, just had to kinda vent.
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Old 04-10-2014, 03:47 PM
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Venting is ok, so is a bit of humor. A good mix of the 2 creates a pretty good balance I find, personally. It brings back a bit of positive into all of this.

Some crack me up so bad sometimes that it's the best medicine for my recovery.

I think we need to remind ourselves, I mean most of us, that we are not dealing with a terminal cancer life sentence. Recovery is hard I know first hand, but we have to try to think positive.
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Old 04-10-2014, 03:49 PM
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Thanks Jus I really like your posts!

Rogue just remember that some people that come on here at at absolute rock bottom. They have had their whole lives destroyed by alcohol and can sometimes even be suicidal.

So while a positive view is good, we all need positive, there is also the need for some of us to "clear the air" with our current and past situations. One thing I love about this place is that no one is judging us for that.
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Old 04-10-2014, 04:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Looking4Help123 View Post
Thanks Jus I really like your posts!

Rogue just remember that some people that come on here at at absolute rock bottom. They have had their whole lives destroyed by alcohol and can sometimes even be suicidal.

So while a positive view is good, we all need positive, there is also the need for some of us to "clear the air" with our current and past situations. One thing I love about this place is that no one is judging us for that.
YES! I agree. And I've been at that suicidal point in times past too ... idk. Maybe because my sobriety is so new (one week) I'm hypersensitive to depressing threads? Something of a reality check for me though, my point of view is not the be all and end all. thank you!!
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Old 04-10-2014, 04:35 PM
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I remember I was affected deeply by threads for a while when I joined - theres nothing wrong with not participating in threads that bring you down or make you sad.

The beauty of SR is there's always other people to respond to those threads that for whatever reason trigger you - and there's always other people and other threads for you to help

D
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Old 04-10-2014, 04:45 PM
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I can just for me although there are a few people that will like me to also! My better half and my probation officer who just shackled me yesterday with a ankle bracelet that can sense alcohol and has GPS, LOL I think it's hilarious as I have been clean awhile and can have this thing on me as long as they like . But I will be glad to see it get cut off of me on June 7th as it costs me $15 a day to have it strapped to me, I have better things to spend money on! Have a Great Day Everyone! Bobby
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Old 04-11-2014, 04:37 AM
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Jus
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Smile

Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I believe we are all capable of amazing things

D
Indeed we are, once we learn to let go of things, that serve us no purpose.

Since I've been on the right track, I sorta went through a faze where I wasn't so happy with myself. I was thinking about the wasted YEARS, then flipped my thinking, and thought, "Ok, all any of us has is today." I live my life daily with gratitude, an gift to give ourselves.

I want to see what I'm capable of doing since the new me is getting
better and stronger as each day passes.

I too have trouble reading depressing posts, I find they pull me down, so I try not to read to many of them.

Real life has shown me to avoid negative people, they can suck the life out of you, literally.

We can't always walk around yippy skippy, all though I do my best to do that lol.

This affliction we have isn't fun at all, it KILLS, one way or the other it KILLS.

My hopes when I post things, like everyone else on the boards, is to reach out and help those suffering. To show them, they CAN DO IT. My heart especially goes out to the young ones. I wish someone had of helped me all those years ago, when I desperately needed it. But like most, we hide our pain don't we? The sad thing about it, it festers over the years. Then one day we WAKE UP, and realize, hey I don't need to live like that anymore. It's up to me/us to FREE ourselves.

The only I CAN'T in my life today, is to go back to drinking. I CAN'T ever go back to that.

FREE YOURSELF........come to this side, it's peaceful. I promise you this.



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Old 04-11-2014, 04:59 AM
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Thanks for sharing Amazing
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Old 04-11-2014, 05:25 AM
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I think I understand the spirit of your post, Jus. I will say in hindsight, a vast majority of posts in the beginning that bothered me were the woe is me, I slipped again....or the...hey, I think I can moderate attitude of someone in denial. Anyways...I've come to see in going through my own journey, that one of the biggest lessons is letting go of judgements and knowing when to not have the arrogance to think our way is the only way. And that next week, we may well be in that position ourselves.

Each of us have our own journeys. A kind word can help some days. Or a firm, hey dude, just stop drinking, can be needed other days. We all can beat this, for sure...but each journey will be different and may not end the same way.

There are many threads, I've just had to click away from. I wish you the wisdom to know when to do that also. It's a very big insight into our own journey.
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Old 04-11-2014, 06:54 AM
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Thank you for the inspiring thread

I think one feature that makes SR such a comfortable and helpful place is the fact that people can post about a wide range of states, both positive and negative, for inspiration and lessons and everything in between.

It's interesting how some of us find certain posts and threads triggering and having a negative effect. I personally don't tend to experience problems with viewing anything that is being shared here and often find posts about struggles, relapses, etc helpful not only in a sense that the poster can get support through them but also in that they are a good reminder of the reality of what we are dealing with.

Another good (and I think unique) feature of an online board is that we are 100% free to be selective and read / post as we wish, can choose who to interact with, when, etc. Of course we all would rather be in an ideal world of recovery without suffering, it's just that unfortunately that's not the whole reality of this condition. Relapse may not be part of recovery per se, but it's unfortunately central to addiction. I agree with Croissan't comment above on each journey being different and open ended as long as we are alive.

I also think people differ in what sort of knowledge, interaction and help they find useful in their recovery, and I believe this can change during the course of our journey. For example, I tend to find negative reinforcement helpful and often respond to this with constructive action in the right direction. But not every day and not any dose of it.

This whole discussion reminds me of issues with people management that I need to deal with in my professional life and I honestly struggle with it often. How to motivate and inspire people, how to help them (well, help us as a team) achieve the most efficient effort and best results? I wish there was one way that worked with everyone... or even with one person all the time!

I think what makes a group like SR so great is that we are a diverse bunch of people dealing with our own form of the same problem and can find a wide variety of feedback and reactions from our peers. I also find it very interesting how longer term members tend to carve out certain styles and roles, which is of course true for any community, online or offline.

Jus, I think you definitely occupy a unique and wonderful niche with your kind and inspiring posts full of positivity. Please continue doing that!
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Old 04-11-2014, 11:46 AM
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Jus
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Thanks everyone for your replies, and different views with this.

This man by the name of Nick, makes me,
want to work harder, with what I want today.

He's so cute, you can't help but LOVE him.
He's not allowed his obstacles to stop him.
His attitude is contagious!!!
Inspiration at it's best



I'm in AWE

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