BooBo0

Hello.

Anyone remember me?

I guess I meant it when I last posted...fearing that I "wasnt ready" for this.

"This" meaning the reality of the situation.

I was so caught up on everyone saying "leave him" "leave him" that I wasn't focusing on seeing the bigger picture.....

ME!!!!

I mean seriously... the problem isnt so much HIM and how HES gonna change...and IF hes gonna...or this or that...

ITS ME. My enabling behavior. My CODEPENDENCY.

For those of you who don't remember. My bf is an addict. He is also the father of my daughter. He is currently is in prison...and was the last time I posted. He has been gone since 12/2011. I'm still here.

I thought our "plan" for release was golden. Fool proof.

I recently got into therapy...and you'd be amazed at what three sessions has turned into.

Can you say GROWTH? Yes...in 3 sessions.

I'm turning over a new leaf. To change ME. to work on ME.

He's supposed to be coming home in November. Its never too late right? :slap:

Anyway...I think I have decided that maybe coming "home" immediately isn't the smartest option...Perhaps he can do a treatment center, or hwh of some sort? Take placement upon coming him. Let them set HIM up with the tools for success and truly see his sincerity before we jump in. Not only for him...but for ME. I need to be realistic about the whole situation.

I just wrote him a letter touching on all of this. I know his insecure mind is going to take it to a place thats not intended (hes going to think i dont want him home..im trying to leave him...etc) but

Here is my rationale

The only bad thing i can think of...is obviously...he wont be physically home right away...

however.

I've waited this long. Whats 6 more months (or so?). and.

I want forever with him way more than I want him home.

If he has the possibility of getting help OUTSIDE of those prison walls...why should we pass that up?

Oh i'm rambling.

I'm happy to be back. I'll be posting a lot more.

I'm working on a new me.

Ann

Welcome back, Boo. You sound like you are on a good path with your own healing and recovery. You have several months before you have to make your final decision about what is right for you, but I can't help but agree that having a little space and taking time when he gets out to see which path he chooses, is a great and healthy idea.

It's good to see you again.

Hugs

KeepinItReal

The prison system in my state has never been helpful. More like, dss then homeless shelter then placement in halfway house. However hard that is for him... he made his own choices. If you are sure you want him forever...does this mean only him sober?

now is a good time to work on personal boundaries. Like, I will not give him any money for anything, even food bc he is an adult and should support himself. Just for example.

Firefall

Welcome back... moving forward

chicory

glad you are back, BooBoO. glad you are getting help for yourself.

hugs
chicory