CarrieBear

Some of you must have been tbrough this so Id lkke to draw off your experience. Tomorrow my fiance goes in for his evaluation, admit he has been snorting oxy, smoking pot, and got a dui. He says he will admit it all butI warned him if he doesnt talk I will. Hes been following his plan along with the help of his cousin. Hes been miserable but I THINK is doing it. His problem has been staying off.

is there anything specific I should ask tomorrow? Ive written questions down and realize he may prescribe or refer him somewhere but itsa first step and the closest hes come so far.

Good news is the dui may turn into reckless driving because it was low, the pot charge may be misdemeanor, could only be fines, alcohol class, community service. But bad side it would mean no forced outpatient or rehab, it sucks.

incitingsilence

Will they let you be present for the eval?

I took my husband to his evaluation for outpatient.
I wasn't invited in. I was just the driver at the time since he was in wd. He asked if I could come in, and they said yes and my only concern which I did voice is will you be honest with me there, and the counselor had the same concern. He said something to the counselor like let me just have to do this once ...
I didn't ask anything nor did I interject at all.

All I can think of now all these years later is, if he couldn't be truthful then, he really would be showing me exactly how ready he was.

If I fast forward some, well what I learned is ready is one thing. Done, that was a whole another process.

I really hope that he can go in and be truthful. I would advise staying out of the room with him, because he really needs to step up and do it on his own. Also I am not sure any break on charges will be any favor to him, but if he is anywhere close to done he will hopefully view that if it happens as a second chance and not screw it up.

Good Luck.

Ann

I agree, Carriebear, this is his evaluation and he may be more open if he does it alone.

You will know soon enough if he is serious about his recovery, his actions will show that. If he is not serious, all the hovering and overseeing will be meaningless and you'll only be wasting your time.

It was hard for me not to "oversee" my son's recovery but in the end, it really had nothing to do with me and everything to do with him.

I hope this goes well for both of you.

Hugs

CarrieBear

Thanks, dont know we talked and I feel like his drug use needs to be full flat exposed however bad, I think its the only way he can get help
he needs, do it right the first time get it all out there, hit it hard and do whatever it takes. Hes agreeing right now and his dad, the hypocritucal cousin who still uses and me are all behind him as long as he faces this. I think he may have to move out if he lets this chance pass him by, go stay with his dad if he cant commit this time. I will be hurt so bad for our son if he doesnt do this tomorrow.

Ann

Oh I agree, Carrie, what he should do is open up and be completely honest and throw himself at recovery...but what he does do may or may not be just that.

I'm glad you have options if this doesn't work out...and I pray it does work out just fine.

Hugs