Rar

Hi All...... I don't think I can hang on and not drink. I am on Day 69. I don't know where to begin because it seems like everything is wrong with my life. For one thing....I don't feel well. My health problems are beginning to affect the quality of my life. Though I have medicine to help my breathing, I think my emphysema is getting worse. Like many older folks, I also have arthritis. What really hurts is the arthritis in my toes and painful bunions. It hurts to walk and at times, it even hurts to swim, though I try to swim most days. I have a huge painful bump on my elbow, which worries me. I am worried that it will prevent me from golfing this summer. I have arthritis in my hands and that may affect me riding my motorcycle. I am also seeing a dermatologist next week for a multitude of skin problems. My husband of 40+ years aren't getting along presently and that makes me sad. All in all, I am super discouraged and no longer see any benefit in not drinking. In fact, I'm beginning to think I will feel better if I drink. At least it will numb me somewhat. I know this is a big rambling list of what may seem like trivial issues, but I just can't seem to cope today. (unhappy sigh) My husband purchased a 30 pack of beer today.

Doctorwho737

I can deffo relate to the arthritis stuff, I suffer from pretty bad stuff in the ankles, foot, left knee and back.

I also got it young...

I really know about the toe pain I think (My own mental stuff keeps me clear of doctors...for now), I get bad pains in my big toes after working and for me it is hell.

My left upper ankle joint cracks over and over again and walking is an issue for me daily as well.

New boy here myself so not much to say besides hello and to let you know you are not alone in the physical pan you have.

I am amazed and inspired you made it 69 days BTW, hope you can find the strength and make day 70.

ScottFromWI

Play the tape through Rar. Everything you think drinking will solve will actually get worse. In addition, you'll have the added guilt and shame of dealing with the drinking itself. It won't make your pain go away, it won't solve your health problems, and it definitely won't help with your golf game!

Remember what your goal is - and stay here with us until you ride this out.

willhunting264

You can hold out!!! Don't do it. Go to a movie or something.

PurpleKnight

I guarantee you won't feel any better by drinking, in fact you'll feel worse.

Sure you'll numb things, but in the morning the problems will still exist, nothing will have changed, plus you'll have to face them with a newfound hangover.

Nothing good ever came from my drinking, it made things worse, I've been there and got the T-Shirt, it spirals and you end up in a worse position than before you picked up that first drink!!

You can get through this!!

firstymer

Hi Rar. I am sorry you are struggling. And I get the desire to numb the pain you are feeling. But I think you know that the numbing effect of alcohol is only temporary. And the after-effects will make you feel much worse than you are feeling now. Maybe a return trip to your doctor is needed to address the symptoms you are experiencing.

In the meantime, you may want to get out and do something for just you. Something that will distract you from the rut that you find yourself in today.

I can guarantee you two things: If you don't drink today, you will feel better about things tomorrow. If you do drink today, you will feel worse about things tomorrow.

Good luck, Rar. We are pulling for you.

Carlotta

I am not a doctor and we cannot give medical advice but while you obviously have arthritis, you also sound like you might have gout. Have you been checked by your doctor for that? If you do, the worst thing you could do for it is drink

hypochondriac

Well done for reaching out Rar

First of, none of those problems you have mentioned will be fixed by alcohol, especially the health ones. I had a lot of nerve damage when I quit drinking and it took a long time to start getting better, but it really did in time. If you stick it out I bet you will see all sorts of improvements. Y'know sometimes it really is hard to see the benefits of not drinking. It's usually because they are so small and cumulative that they are not easy to spot whereas the problems from drinking are usually big massive things which make an impact. I felt a little better every day I didn't drink, whereas I knew if I drank I would feel awful straight away... hang in there. Maybe it would be worth doing a cost/benefit analysis. Write down all the positives of drinking and all the negatives. It might help to see it in black and white x

SoberLeigh

Rar - you sound very overwhelmed and no wonder; you are dealing with a lot, too much. Try and play the tape forward, though; drinking won't offer any true solution; maybe you will feel "better" for a while but it won't last; hangovers will only make your other issues worse. Have you made an appointment with your doctor about your worsening emphysema and to address your other issues?

Congratulations on your 69 sober days; hope you power on to 70 and beyond.

Forgetful

I often feel like crap because of health problems but I know if I drank, I'd feel even crappier. The respite doesn't last too long and then you are left with the aftermath of drinking on top of the pain xxxxx

Rar

Thank you all for your support. I saw my pulmonologist at the end of January. I don't have any wheezing and my O2 level is okay. It could be the anxiety from not drinking is making my breathing worse. I definitely don't have gout. Blood work confirmed that. In fact the uric acid was low. The podiatrist did XRays on my feet. He wants to do surgery to prevent one toe from moving and to do bunion surgery on the other foot. We have hard winters here and I live for golf in the summer.

Marjoram

Rar - I'm so glad you reached out to us for help. I'm learning that is one of the best things we can do for ourselves. To make it to 69 days is wonderful. As everyone said already, drinking will only make matters worse. We all know this. You will feel better and stronger when you wake up tomorrow and know you made it to 70 days. And we will be here to cheer for you.

Sending hugs and love your way!

Marjoram

And yes it's been a wicked winter. We still have a few spots where I can see snow under some trees - but spring is showing up - that always helps how our bodies feel.

Rar

The primary reason I'm hanging on is the guilt and shame in not seeing my commitment through. Today I'm not really caring what it does to my health.

Marjoram

I've been in that same mindset of figuring being sober might not be worth all the discouraging feelings that come along with it. I would see my husband and others drinking, and say to myself "if I can't beat 'em, join 'em". And it always brought me back to my heart and my soul telling me that I have to do this for me. Think of how you've felt during these 69 days. We are all sure you have some good stories to tell about those days. Focus on those, can you tell us some?

least

I hope you don't drink.

Marjoram

Rar - my husband will be coming home with his normal 30 pack as well. I just got done rearranging our garage fridge that has pop, water, and beer in it, along with food in the freezer. I touched the beer to move it, and while I did I thought of people like you that have strung so many days together and are inspiring me to hold out. I see there are lots here reading your thread, so strength in numbers my dear.

LooseGrip

I am sorry to hear you are in such physical pain. You didn't say if your husband is alcoholic too? I can only encourage you to give it some time. Talk to your doctor about relief and try to deal with one thing at a time. Drinking will numb for awhile and then it will be worse, as you know. You will be hungover, withdrawing physically much more ill and depressed. Is it worth it?

Hevyn

Hi Rar. I'm so glad you reached out for some help. I know how you feel - all the things you want to do to distract yourself are causing you pain. Boredom and frustration can lead us right back to the booze - been there many times. I always regretted it and it never helped. The misery was just made worse. I hope you won't pick up. We're here to listen as you go through this challenging time. (Spring is here - but where you and I live it's taking forever. )

FreeOwl

imagine having to face all those challenges - but also be hungover and filled with shame and grief and remorse.

I'm so sorry you're struggling and feeling stretched - and I want to remind you that drinking isn't going to help any of it. It won't make it go away. It will only compound your woes.

Hang on, hang in, don't drink.