goose333

I'm so sick of drinking. I feel like crap. Shaking pretty good although it's subsided somewhat. I'm starting over again. But this time I'm really going to make an effort. Things I will do differently...

I have a great hiding place in the house. I'm going to throw away the booze there and undo what I've done to make it so easy to use.
I'm going to check in here every day.
I've started meditating but I find it very difficult to focus. (anyone else do this? Does it help?)

In a few days I know I'm going to feel great and I'm going to want to start again. So my reasons why I won't...
I'm slowly killing myself.
It's so expensive.
I don't want to be depressed anymore.
I'm living my life in a fog.
I do stupid things when I'm drunk.
I don't want to be embarrassed about my shaking.
I owe it to my wife and family to stop and never go back.
I hate being jittery and antsy.

Any advice on what to do when the urges start will be most appreciated.

Goose

MythOfSisyphus

I don't know, Goose. For me AVRT and wanting to quit has been enough. What have you tried so far? Have you tried AVRT? Maybe look into AA?

Dee74

Hi Goose

for me to get sober and stay that way I had to find the right support, and I had to use that support before I got into trouble.

I also had to make changes in my lifestyle to take me out of temptations way and focus my energies on recovery.

You probably have heard of the old adage about changing people places and things.

What have you been doing up til now for your recovery?

D

Ruby2

I found it important to plan for before the urges would likely start. If there is a pattern to your drinking you will know when those times might be. After work? On the way home from work? Try a different route so you aren't tempted to buy alcohol. I used to buy little bottles of wine to drink on my train ride home. When I stopped drinking I would struggle as I walked nearer the shop I bought from but would plunge on with the intent to make my train and not drink that day. Once I passed by the shop, the struggle receded the more distance I gained. Cut off urges at the pass. If you know you drink on weekends, make sober plans at the beginning of the week. It is never too early to plan ahead for situations you know will involve alcohol.

Writing down the reasons to quit is a great way to start. But for me it wasn't enough. I have numerous lists like that and none of them kept me sober when I started feeling better until I started taking action. For me that was going to AA meetings. Good luck. Post here or read when you are getting ideas in your head about drinking. I found that talking about it gave that nagging voice to pick up so much less power.

You can do it! One day at a time. Each time you don't drink when you can or want to is a small victory which you can build on.

IOAA2

Hi Goose. Most of us found we had to be honest about our drinking to get off the train wreck we are facing. For me I was undisciplined and wanted what I want when I wanted it without any effort, a disaster happening and I ignored it for far too long. I went to AA, met many great people, knew more than them and my disease continued to get worse until I surrendered and accepted the fact I could not drink in safety. I was taught that if I didn't pick up the first drink I wouldn't need to get sober AGAIN. Some of us are sicker than others and require more effort to stay recovered. For me it was an effort worth while as it's nice to be comfortable, most of the time, in my own skin.
I came to believe that reading the directions is not admitting defeat.

BE WELL

savarna

To start u must want to do it for yourself , and I find aa helpful, some people also find alcohol or general counselling helpful ,

FreeOwl

AA helped me!!

give that a try.

Add in a physical activity - something new and different that gets your body and mind engaged and helps rewire your habits.

Meditation - yes, this helps in general. Humans should do this more often!! It's hard to focus - that is normal. That's just part of meditation. Keep at it! Over time it definitely is a powerful tool and habit that will support positive changes in your life and help you be better equipped to 'manage' your emotions and the ups and downs of life.

Urges - observe them... as though you're meditating. Then, allow yourself to let go of them.

Find a new response to them - make it a physical response; go for a walk, a run, so 50 pushups, situps, take a bike ride.... re-wiring yourself with ACTION in a physical response to urges is a powerful way to re-direct.

YOU CAN DO IT

SoberLeigh

Hi Goose - I echo the above suggestions and add that maybe throwing the booze out (or having someone do it for you) would be a good idea; even though it's a good hiding place, when you are craving you will remember where you hid it and be tempted to haul it out of hiding.

Stay strong; stay healthy, Goose.

Nonsensical

Sounds like a plan is coming together!

That's great stuff. Planning for sobriety works better than hoping for sobriety.

I recommend doing some additional reading to find some things to expand your plan. Support, dealing with cravings, finding new ways to spend your time, etc.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

Thepatman

I second that. Not sure why you would want to hide what's left.

At least if you don't have some in the house, if you get a major urge you will have to go out, drive, hopefuly catch yourself before finishing the buying process?

goose333

Thank you all for your replies and advice. I really appreciate your taking the time for thoughtful replies. There is a lot of good advice here that I will take seriously.
I guess I wasn't clear about my hiding place and the booze that's hidden there. I'm going to throw it out and close down the hiding place. I just have to get some time alone to do it. I don't want the wife to ever know. It would just make her worry. I don't think I was serious about this before now. This will be a very important step for me.
I don't think AA is for me. This forum would be better. I did not know what AVRT was, but looked it up and I will definitely be taking a closer look at that.
Ruby2... You're right. There is a pattern. It is definitely after work and on weekends. Unfortunately, I research well and over time I've found many sources on every path home. I used to get a red bull and spike it for the ride home. Then of course, when I got home I'd just get more & more. Weekends always started like that and went down hill. I need to somehow learn to just drive by.

Thanks again to everyone! I'm so grateful for your help.

LadyinBC

This is something I learned during daytox.

You get a candle that has a nice smell to it. A smell that reminds you of something good. I have one that smells like green grass and it reminds me of camping and being outdoors.

You sit on a pillow and you light the candle and you just concentrate on the smell of the candle. That is it. You just clear your thoughts for 20-30 minutes and you just relax.

I honestly didn't think it would work when I tried it the first time, but it did! And it was simple and I didn't have to worry about making it complicated by concentrating on thoughts as mine were all over the place.

It worked great when I was craving or just needed to get the junk out of my head for a bit. I still do it when I need a break or the urge hits me.

Please don't lay on the floor and do this as you don't want to fall asleep with a candle burning.