Proper etiquette?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Proper etiquette?
Husband and I have been invited to dinner tomorrow evening at another couple's house. When I asked if I could bring anything, the hostess said, "a bottle of wine for dinner". Now that's not a problem....wine doesn't tempt me at all. I'm a beer drinker and beer will also be available. Of course, I will decline and opt for water, but my question is, is it acceptable to bring my own seltzer and/or sparkling water? It's a bummer drinking water when everyone else is drinking wine or beer. It seems rather awkward to byob at a dinner. Thoughts? Suggestions?
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 908
I think it depends on how you feel about buying wine. Will it really be the end of the world if you don't bring any? Maybe bring another gift like some aperitifs or something. Not sure it's worth arguing with your AV about it! (Unless you have no problem with these events).
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
I like the idea of bringing my own. Husband is against me bringing anything for myself. He said it's like bringing your own food.
@ Mr. G: The hostess asked for wine. They drink wine with their dinner. Husband and I have never been wine drinkers and instead opt for water with dinner. However, the question is what to drink before dinner while everyone else is having cocktails.
@ Mr. G: The hostess asked for wine. They drink wine with their dinner. Husband and I have never been wine drinkers and instead opt for water with dinner. However, the question is what to drink before dinner while everyone else is having cocktails.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
so you get to drink tap water all night? LOL.
With respect I disagree with your husband on this one - if he's ok with you bringing wine you won't drink, I can't see why sparkling water would or could be offensive..
D
With respect I disagree with your husband on this one - if he's ok with you bringing wine you won't drink, I can't see why sparkling water would or could be offensive..
D
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
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Originally Posted by Rar 
Husband is against me bringing anything for myself. He said it's like bringing your own food.
Just sayin'
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 430
When I was in grad school, my major professor considered himself a wine afficianado, and I found myself at a number of school-related happy hours and wine tastings. Some were at his house, while others were at an upscale restaurant. Once I finally got fed up and asked, I discovered that the bartender usually kept a few bottles of San Pellegrino out of sight. He was very happy to fill my wine glass with fancy sparkling water and no one batted an eyelash.
While you are shopping for that bottle of gift wine, find yourself a great glass bottle (or two!) of sparkling water, and take it with confidence.
While you are shopping for that bottle of gift wine, find yourself a great glass bottle (or two!) of sparkling water, and take it with confidence.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Originally Posted by Nonsensical
Most husbands, myself included, wouldn't know proper etiquette if it crawled up our pants leg and bit us on the badoingas.
Just sayin'
Just sayin'
I think I'm going with the sparkling water and perhaps some sort of beverage for Husband at dinner. He stops drinking when he eats, though he's fine with only water. (Lucky him).
Thanks everyone.
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
I always bring my own beverages with me whenever I go to anyone's house for any reason. I don't think it's rude. I never thought it rude when my friends would bring their own. We all have something we really like so why not bring it?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,443
No one has ever questioned the fact that I bring soda water to any place I have ever gone to.
Lately, I even bring double the amount that I usually would drink because I find that someone usually wants soda water when they see me drinking it.
Lately, I even bring double the amount that I usually would drink because I find that someone usually wants soda water when they see me drinking it.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
I agree with everyone. If you're comfortable pick out a nice wine. But DO take your own - I like the idea of san peligrino, or just plain ole pellegrino, or perier, whatever you like. It is not rude at all.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 430
Originally Posted by Olive1
No one has ever questioned the fact that I bring soda water to any place I have ever gone to.
Lately, I even bring double the amount that I usually would drink because I find that someone usually wants soda water when they see me drinking it.
Lately, I even bring double the amount that I usually would drink because I find that someone usually wants soda water when they see me drinking it.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: South
Posts: 226
Originally Posted by Nonsensical
Most husbands, myself included, wouldn't know proper etiquette if it crawled up our pants leg and bit us on the badoingas.
Just sayin'
Just sayin'
Kidding of course. I say bring the wine, and some Perrier. Tell them you're a problem drinker, so you brought fancy water to level the playing field. I'm only half sarcastic BTW... I tell anybody who will listen that I am no longer allowed to drink, cause I'm a drunk.
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,229
For me, I don't place or set myself up
to be placed in awkward situations that
would tempt and possible cause me to
drink poison.
Today I chose not to feel uncomfortable
in recovery and life.
To bring wine would mean id have to
go buy it, going to a part of the store
where all that poison is located, to
place my hands on it, to be too close
to it, handling it. Like holding a time
bomb waiting to explode.
Recovery is about taking care of my
sobriety. Taking care of my health and
welfare. No one is gonna care about
my recovery other than me.
Do I think those neighbors care if I
drink or not if I was invited. Not really.
But I will surely remember it if I
chose to drink or make a complete
fool of myself.
Early recovery is important as I learn
the does and don't of drinking a controlled
substance. Poison. To not set myself up
in situations that would tempt me to
drink.
If I was asked to go to a drinking function,
id have to opt out of it emmediately asking
myself, whats more important to me right
now. My recovery/sobriety or placing myself
in a situation that could and would cause
failure, a slip or relapse.
Sitting amongst others that are drinking
alcohol would not be comfortable for me.
All those folks that are drinking will be
under the enfluence of a controlled substance
not allowing them to be their true selves.
Talking with others like that is definitely
awkward and uncomfortable. As an alcoholic
in recovery and knowing that I once use
to act or behave irrationally under the
influence, it wouldn't feel right taking
someone elses inventory as I watch and
listen to them not being their true selves.
I first wouldn't buy alcohol with my hard
earned money to sit back and watch others
make a fool of themselves. Bring your own
beverage to take care and protect your own
sobriety, because no one else will.
For me, I will do whatever I need to do
to protect my recovery/sobriety. By going
to any lengths that I need to take to
avoid placing myself in arkward situation
involving poison. To not take delight in
watching others drink alcohol as I continue
to build a strong, solid foundation in
recovery to live upon for a many one days
at a time for yrs to come.
to be placed in awkward situations that
would tempt and possible cause me to
drink poison.
Today I chose not to feel uncomfortable
in recovery and life.
To bring wine would mean id have to
go buy it, going to a part of the store
where all that poison is located, to
place my hands on it, to be too close
to it, handling it. Like holding a time
bomb waiting to explode.
Recovery is about taking care of my
sobriety. Taking care of my health and
welfare. No one is gonna care about
my recovery other than me.
Do I think those neighbors care if I
drink or not if I was invited. Not really.
But I will surely remember it if I
chose to drink or make a complete
fool of myself.
Early recovery is important as I learn
the does and don't of drinking a controlled
substance. Poison. To not set myself up
in situations that would tempt me to
drink.
If I was asked to go to a drinking function,
id have to opt out of it emmediately asking
myself, whats more important to me right
now. My recovery/sobriety or placing myself
in a situation that could and would cause
failure, a slip or relapse.
Sitting amongst others that are drinking
alcohol would not be comfortable for me.
All those folks that are drinking will be
under the enfluence of a controlled substance
not allowing them to be their true selves.
Talking with others like that is definitely
awkward and uncomfortable. As an alcoholic
in recovery and knowing that I once use
to act or behave irrationally under the
influence, it wouldn't feel right taking
someone elses inventory as I watch and
listen to them not being their true selves.
I first wouldn't buy alcohol with my hard
earned money to sit back and watch others
make a fool of themselves. Bring your own
beverage to take care and protect your own
sobriety, because no one else will.
For me, I will do whatever I need to do
to protect my recovery/sobriety. By going
to any lengths that I need to take to
avoid placing myself in arkward situation
involving poison. To not take delight in
watching others drink alcohol as I continue
to build a strong, solid foundation in
recovery to live upon for a many one days
at a time for yrs to come.
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