Struggles in my mind
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 31
Struggles in my mind
Hi all. I'm on day 95 and doing well with the urges. I'm struggling with the ups and downs. Some days I feel great and productive and happy. Other days I take everything so hard, overanalyze and drive myself nuts with unresolved issues, made up scenarios that are truly never going to happen and feeling as if I've been thrown a loop when in reality nothing has changed. Without sounding crazy, I really struggle with the voice in my head and my self talk. It's 9:13 and I've already ruined my morning through negative thinking and talking.
I try to take on each day with realistic expectations but a couple days a week I am just completely incapable of finding joy. I am very blessed with family, friends, job and support. I think some days i just can't feel or appreciate those blessings.
Is this just dealing with life? Is it that the alcohol filled in the gaps and now nothing is there to dull those painful days? Looking for advice and words of wisdom on a tough Sunday morning.
I try to take on each day with realistic expectations but a couple days a week I am just completely incapable of finding joy. I am very blessed with family, friends, job and support. I think some days i just can't feel or appreciate those blessings.
Is this just dealing with life? Is it that the alcohol filled in the gaps and now nothing is there to dull those painful days? Looking for advice and words of wisdom on a tough Sunday morning.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Living life on life's terms you are correct.
Drinking numbs our emotional state, and it is hard in early sobriety dealing with feelings.
Do you exercise? What are your hobbies? Do your read uplifting stories and articles?
The one thing I found to be most important in early sobriety was to stay busy.
Drinking numbs our emotional state, and it is hard in early sobriety dealing with feelings.
Do you exercise? What are your hobbies? Do your read uplifting stories and articles?
The one thing I found to be most important in early sobriety was to stay busy.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,649
I really can relate. I have to learn to deal with all the feelings I used to just pour alcohol on. I am so glad to be sober, but sometimes it is hard. I just push on, grateful every day to be sober and in charge of my life. I think I am growing up. lol Hang in there. It will get better. Hugs
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Sounds like its time to start your day over.
I've been sober for over 5 years and I still have bad days. They don't happen near as often. It just keeps getting better.
Learning how to deal with struggles of life in a different way has been a process for me. Take the drink away and then I had to start working on me. For every bad day that I make it through sober, I can draw on that in the future. There isn't anything worth taking a drink over.
I've been sober for over 5 years and I still have bad days. They don't happen near as often. It just keeps getting better.
Learning how to deal with struggles of life in a different way has been a process for me. Take the drink away and then I had to start working on me. For every bad day that I make it through sober, I can draw on that in the future. There isn't anything worth taking a drink over.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Virginia
Posts: 86
It sounds like it is just your life right now. Keep feeling grateful for the joyful days that you have and work on ways to improve the negative self talk. This may be a phase you are in, it doesn't have to stay that way. If it continues and you may want to talk to a professional who can offer tons of advice and tools to get through this.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Hello coffeecake.
I'll have 99 days today. With a few exceptions I can relate to everything you say.
The one thing I stopped doing was to drive myself nuts by over analyzing the various scenarios I played out in my head. What helped me the most was reading about Buddhist principles. The simplicity of life is knowing that you cannot change what is going to happen tomorrow. Surely you can affect it in some manner. But we just don't know. We can choose to be happy and present. When thoughts take over our being then it can lead to apprehension and aggravation. Or just an incomprehensible anxiety that has no business being there. I do know what you are experiencing.
I wake up every day not knowing if I have a job waiting for me tomorrow. There is nothing I can do but accept whatever happens to me and move on. In the mean time I have to live in the present moment and enjoy just being alive. The best I can do is make short term plans. Do I want to go fishing tomorrow etc. I cannot make any plans further than a day or two away. A couple months ago I thought I was going insane worrying about it. I chose to accept it and take life on life's terms. Whatever and whenever that is. Hope this made sense.
For now, just live in the present. Enjoy what you have. And be thankful you can actually express these feelings.
I'll have 99 days today. With a few exceptions I can relate to everything you say.
The one thing I stopped doing was to drive myself nuts by over analyzing the various scenarios I played out in my head. What helped me the most was reading about Buddhist principles. The simplicity of life is knowing that you cannot change what is going to happen tomorrow. Surely you can affect it in some manner. But we just don't know. We can choose to be happy and present. When thoughts take over our being then it can lead to apprehension and aggravation. Or just an incomprehensible anxiety that has no business being there. I do know what you are experiencing.
I wake up every day not knowing if I have a job waiting for me tomorrow. There is nothing I can do but accept whatever happens to me and move on. In the mean time I have to live in the present moment and enjoy just being alive. The best I can do is make short term plans. Do I want to go fishing tomorrow etc. I cannot make any plans further than a day or two away. A couple months ago I thought I was going insane worrying about it. I chose to accept it and take life on life's terms. Whatever and whenever that is. Hope this made sense.
For now, just live in the present. Enjoy what you have. And be thankful you can actually express these feelings.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Hi Coffeecake 
I always say taking alcohol away made me see just how messed up I was
I liken it to the tide going out and all this driftwood and debris being lift on the beach.
I had to pick up the debris, piece by piece.
It was quite a task - I started to wonder if I'd ever feel joy again - maybe permanent blahness was the price I'd pay for sobriety?
...but I was wrong.
I, like everyone else here, has bad days still - but my sense of joy, of peace and of serenity did come back to me and it stays with me, even on the bad days.
Volunteering really helped me in that respect - it got me out of the house and helping others....I found I needed to get out of my own head, y'know?
Don't lose heart - good times are ahead
D
I always say taking alcohol away made me see just how messed up I was
I liken it to the tide going out and all this driftwood and debris being lift on the beach.
I had to pick up the debris, piece by piece.
It was quite a task - I started to wonder if I'd ever feel joy again - maybe permanent blahness was the price I'd pay for sobriety?
...but I was wrong.
I, like everyone else here, has bad days still - but my sense of joy, of peace and of serenity did come back to me and it stays with me, even on the bad days
. Volunteering really helped me in that respect - it got me out of the house and helping others....I found I needed to get out of my own head, y'know?
Don't lose heart - good times are ahead
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 31
Thanks all for your words! I made it through the day. I took all of your advice. I worked out, ran some errands, bought myself a new pair of capris, ate a good meal, bought a bottle of Perrier water and rented a movie. I kissed my babies, hugged my husband and talked to my best friend. I cannot tell you all how comforting you have been. Thank God for each and every one of you! LBrain I giggled at your comment about Buddhism as I too have been reading about it, trying some meditations and looking for ways to calm my mind. Great minds think alike.
Happy, Joyous & Free
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 24
Coffeecake, none of us got sick in 95 days and we certainly can't expect to be well in 95 days. Sometimes it won't even seem like we're any better at all because of all the confused feelings and emotions we are beginning to experience for the 1st time in a long time.
Although you may not like hearing it, you are exactly where you should be. Getting sober isn't an event. It's a process. A process that hopefully will continue for a lifetime. The longer we go without a drink or drug, the more sober we become.
We ALL go through exactly what you are going through. You mentioned family and support. I hope some of that support comes from AA or NA meetings. They can be of great help. I have a huge family now (the fellowship of AA) and I never have to be alone again. I hope you will at least try meetings if you aren't already going.
Hang in there. It will get better!
Although you may not like hearing it, you are exactly where you should be. Getting sober isn't an event. It's a process. A process that hopefully will continue for a lifetime. The longer we go without a drink or drug, the more sober we become.
We ALL go through exactly what you are going through. You mentioned family and support. I hope some of that support comes from AA or NA meetings. They can be of great help. I have a huge family now (the fellowship of AA) and I never have to be alone again. I hope you will at least try meetings if you aren't already going.
Hang in there. It will get better!
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