Rar

My girlfriend and her boyfriend stopped by this afternoon. When Hubby offered them drinks, my friend said, "You're still not drinking? You're no fun". So the 3 of them had a few drinks, laughing and joking. I stuck with my club soda, though I almost caved. Before they left, my friend said, "I hope you decide to drink when we go to Mexico." The trip is in November and I'm already worried about the temptation. To be fair to my girlfriend, she thinks I'm not drinking because I'm on a health kick. Oh - I've been alcohol free for 8 weeks today.

LadyBlue0527

You might end up having to be honest. Hanging out with someone like that when you're sober is scary stuff.

Justadude

Oh... That is rough. I hope she eases up in Mexico. You will be stronger by the time that come up. Your other friends out here are proud of you. Congrats on 8 Weeks! I am sure you are going to get some good ideas and support from the more experienced members. I am pretty new and still learning. Sending you positive thoughts though. Again... Great Job Yesterday!!

roxalot

Congrats on 8 weeks!

And I agree with Justadude, you will be much
stronger by the time you need to start packing
for your trip.

That sounds like an wonderful thing to be looking
forward to, imo, a trip to Mexico in November!

~R

Dee74

I'd be honest rar - you have from now until then for people to get used to the new you.

D

MesaMan

At 11 weeks Sober yesterday, I'm skittish about 'opportunities' that 'trap' me with Drinkers sans a way out. So, a possible Alaskan Cruise with another Couple and a separate Trip to Mexico are on hold. They weren't firmly scheduled anyway, but I'm opting out for now in my Mind. What I find is that this takes the pressure off, and dissipates the intermittent dread.

My Wife wants to go to some Dinners at local Wineries later this year, and I've cancelled myself [only] out of those Events. She might go with her Binge Drinking Gal Pal + 'Normal' Hub. I've already made other contingency Plans w/a night solo at a nice Motel elsewhere a possibility. People vote with their Feet. I've also skipped out on a 'Games Night' held by a Winery-owning Couple one or twice a month. It's all about what's being tasted in their Award-winning Wines, although they're extremely hard-working, moderate Drinkers. To even tolerate such an evening is surely to be seriously bored, and then P.O.ed. I'm older, and I don't do 'Face-saving' appearances anymore. Such is the nice aspect about Job 1 being furthering my Sobriety. All this other pretentious BS and Social pressure quickly fades to irrelevance. This forces me/us to develop new, Sober alternatives for fun.

A foursome Dinner with this Binger Couple ended up being an extremely tense night once we got Home, and caused a very intense 'make up' conversation the next day. We'll be skipping that BS going forward. The only possible upside of this conversation was to more clearly stake out our respective, evolving POVs.

I can't predict what Head Space I'll be in 9 months on. I think it will be OK to get on a Cruise Boat with Drinkers on down the Road, but that's my call and no one else's. It's just part of owning my Sobriety.

No apologies to those exerting Social pressure. Only explanations.

bigsombrero

Sounds a little strange to have people over at your own house, actively using alcohol and talking about drinking in the future. Especially if it's causing you stress. I'm sure it's tough, but it might be a good idea to start setting up some clear boundaries.

Rar

I'm still trying to get used to the new me. We had a great time in Mexico last year. I need to make plans to pass on the drinks.

Rar

It was very stressful for me today. We were reminiscing about last year's trip and the fun we had. She hoped I would be drinking by then so we could have more fun (her words- not mine). Summer, warm weather, water activities are HUGE triggers for me.

least

Congrats on 8 weeks sober! Why not tell her that you've decided to make your life alcohol-free from now on. If she gives you a hard time, ask her why it bothers her that you don't drink. That'll give her something to think about...

malcolmsloan

I have a very close friend with whom I used to go see music with. We'd always drink, of before, during, and after shows. When I got sober, I told him that I "wasn't drinking for a while." He responded by saying that he understood, but he looked forward to eventually having " a beer or two" when someone really cool comes to town. I sat on this for a while, and it urked me. As in your case, to be fair, I said, "for a while." A month or so a go, I told him the truth, came out with just how serious I am about not drinking, and I told him a few things about my drinking that he did not know (not many did). He was actually super understanding and cool about it. I feel much better. Music, seeing it, playing it, writing it, listening to it, used to be part of my drinking, but I am slowly relearning how to enjoy this part of my life again-sober. And it is actually way better. It's taking some work, but it is happening. You can learn to enjoy the summer stuff without alcohol, you can.

p.s. Now that he knows about my situation and intentions, if this person were to tempt, taunt, or suggest that I drink again, all bets are off. I walk. Any person who KNOWINGLY fu#$! with my sobriety is no friend of mine.

1newcreation

If I was sober 2 mths in & that trip had been planned(& paid 4), would have found it tuf to turn down; just being honest. But knowing what I know today, as tempting as it may sound to me, would have to turn it down. My sobriety is that important that if there's no valid reason going down there, then I'm not making up 1 more unnecessary regret
Congrats & keep movin foward