Day 40
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: MIchigan
Posts: 26
Day 40
Day 40.. It feels so good to type that. I was so scared in the beginning. I was afraid of everything. I questioned how I would function without the one thing that helped me get through every painful day... vodka. It worked so well.. it numbed everything. I never had to lay up at night and think about things that ate away at me. I would just drink until I passed out.
Things are much different now. I had Every reason to be scared in beginning. I was right to think that this was going to be hard. It has been very hard. Now, I can feel the pain that I was numbing away. I realize things that Really do happen that I was maybe trying to ignore before. I have, in the past, tried to convince myself that I was just reading into things that didn't exist but, clearly I see now, they do. It does hurt to be able to feel, to feel everything.. but it has also been very rewarding. I can't Just feel pain... I can feel love, I can feel trust, I can feel everything now that there isn't anything in the way to numb it. I am much healthier now as well. That is nice
This place... I know so many people say how wonderful it is and how they wouldn't be sober/clean if it wasn't for this place. It is true. This place is amazing... but what makes it so amazing is all the amazing people who come here and share, open up to complete strangers, grab a hold of you and hold your hand through the journey. I have never had Anyone... not anyone be there the way a few of you have been here for me. I see you everyday, you may not say a whole lot to me...but- You always ask how I am, and I know that is the case with everyone.. but.. I have never had people care about me the way you do here. Even just to ask me how I am doing or feeling... It does a long way with me. It keeps my head above the water. Thank you. I love you guys. You guys are pretty
thanksthanks
Things are much different now. I had Every reason to be scared in beginning. I was right to think that this was going to be hard. It has been very hard. Now, I can feel the pain that I was numbing away. I realize things that Really do happen that I was maybe trying to ignore before. I have, in the past, tried to convince myself that I was just reading into things that didn't exist but, clearly I see now, they do. It does hurt to be able to feel, to feel everything.. but it has also been very rewarding. I can't Just feel pain... I can feel love, I can feel trust, I can feel everything now that there isn't anything in the way to numb it. I am much healthier now as well. That is nice
This place... I know so many people say how wonderful it is and how they wouldn't be sober/clean if it wasn't for this place. It is true. This place is amazing... but what makes it so amazing is all the amazing people who come here and share, open up to complete strangers, grab a hold of you and hold your hand through the journey. I have never had Anyone... not anyone be there the way a few of you have been here for me. I see you everyday, you may not say a whole lot to me...but- You always ask how I am, and I know that is the case with everyone.. but.. I have never had people care about me the way you do here. Even just to ask me how I am doing or feeling... It does a long way with me. It keeps my head above the water. Thank you. I love you guys. You guys are pretty
thanksthanks 
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
What a lovely post loveyourself. I'm so glad it's made a difference for you to be here. I feel the same way - not sure where I'd be if I didn't have this place to come to each day.
Wonderful job on reaching 40 days.
I'm so glad it's made a difference for you to be here. I feel the same way - not sure where I'd be if I didn't have this place to come to each day.Wonderful job on reaching 40 days.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Well done!!
I can relate to the pain you mention. I now try to embrace it and see it from an outside perspective. Like watching it on TV. Exteriosizing myself from it somehow, not dwelling into it type og thing. Hard explain, I not making to much sense I think
I can relate to the pain you mention. I now try to embrace it and see it from an outside perspective. Like watching it on TV. Exteriosizing myself from it somehow, not dwelling into it type og thing. Hard explain, I not making to much sense I think
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,506
Originally Posted by loveyourself14 
Day 40.. It feels so good to type that. I was so scared in the beginning. I was afraid of everything. I questioned how I would function without the one thing that helped me get through every painful day... vodka. It worked so well.. it numbed everything. I never had to lay up at night and think about things that ate away at me. I would just drink until I passed out.
Things are much different now. I had Every reason to be scared in beginning. I was right to think that this was going to be hard. It has been very hard. Now, I can feel the pain that I was numbing away. I realize things that Really do happen that I was maybe trying to ignore before. I have, in the past, tried to convince myself that I was just reading into things that didn't exist but, clearly I see now, they do. It does hurt to be able to feel, to feel everything.. but it has also been very rewarding. I can't Just feel pain... I can feel love, I can feel trust, I can feel everything now that there isn't anything in the way to numb it. I am much healthier now as well. That is nice
This place... I know so many people say how wonderful it is and how they wouldn't be sober/clean if it wasn't for this place. It is true. This place is amazing... but what makes it so amazing is all the amazing people who come here and share, open up to complete strangers, grab a hold of you and hold your hand through the journey. I have never had Anyone... not anyone be there the way a few of you have been here for me. I see you everyday, you may not say a whole lot to me...but- You always ask how I am, and I know that is the case with everyone.. but.. I have never had people care about me the way you do here. Even just to ask me how I am doing or feeling... It does a long way with me. It keeps my head above the water. Thank you. I love you guys. You guys are prettythanksthanks
Things are much different now. I had Every reason to be scared in beginning. I was right to think that this was going to be hard. It has been very hard. Now, I can feel the pain that I was numbing away. I realize things that Really do happen that I was maybe trying to ignore before. I have, in the past, tried to convince myself that I was just reading into things that didn't exist but, clearly I see now, they do. It does hurt to be able to feel, to feel everything.. but it has also been very rewarding. I can't Just feel pain... I can feel love, I can feel trust, I can feel everything now that there isn't anything in the way to numb it. I am much healthier now as well. That is nice
This place... I know so many people say how wonderful it is and how they wouldn't be sober/clean if it wasn't for this place. It is true. This place is amazing... but what makes it so amazing is all the amazing people who come here and share, open up to complete strangers, grab a hold of you and hold your hand through the journey. I have never had Anyone... not anyone be there the way a few of you have been here for me. I see you everyday, you may not say a whole lot to me...but- You always ask how I am, and I know that is the case with everyone.. but.. I have never had people care about me the way you do here. Even just to ask me how I am doing or feeling... It does a long way with me. It keeps my head above the water. Thank you. I love you guys. You guys are pretty
thanksthanksIt truly is the case, feeling everything and seeing everything more clearly, it's amazing to think how much our brains were numbed so to speak. Some of the early feelings are not the best in all honesty but we have to walk the path we chose.
All the best.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 321
Hey you. You posted about people affecting you here, doing for you what others never did, and that's allowed you to be sober. Now you're doing it for others, both in chat and here with this post. In a short amount of time you went from being an alcoholic who couldn't stop drinking to an alcoholic with some sobriety and a wonderful message. Good job
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Calif
Posts: 757
LOVE
you are doing so well. day 40 is great and congrats to you.
before you know it, you will be at day 100 and 1 year ect ect.
i think around that time i was relearning who i was and how i can confront my problems without hidding with vodka. but still a struggle at times, i think it will be for a while.
but you are a wonderful person to talk to and i look forward to it every day .
thanks for hanging around
you are doing so well. day 40 is great and congrats to you.
before you know it, you will be at day 100 and 1 year ect ect.
i think around that time i was relearning who i was and how i can confront my problems without hidding with vodka. but still a struggle at times, i think it will be for a while.
but you are a wonderful person to talk to and i look forward to it every day .
thanks for hanging around
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