lardybarstow

Hi all, first site I found on google search in New Zealand originally from the UK.
Started drinking when I left School at 16 probably too much for a 16 year old had some poor medical care previously and developed a total disregard for professional medical opinion and used it as an excuse most of my life.Despite meeting the most wonderfull girl I managed to mess it up by getting drunk violent and abusive.tried cutting down over the years but have just got worse I have been trying to prove to my wife and myself I can control it until its become an obsession, im now in a camper van my Marriage all but over despite being more in love with my wife now more than I did when we first met.I know see the only way forward is total abstinence because one two three is never enough its probably far too late to save my marriage but I am determined my Grandaughters wont have to witness the same pathetic drinker my wife and sons have had to endure I am here for guidance, inspiration, and a knowledgeable ear thanks for reading.
Phil

Dee74

Welcome aboard Phil

We have a few Kiwis here, and a few English folk, so you should fit right in

Have you tried anything in the past to help you stop drinking?

D

lardybarstow

Hi Dee,
I have tried cutting down it works for a while I treat myself then bang two three bottles of wine later im in cuffs.....I quit smoking 30 years ago when I met Helen she didnt smoke so I did it out of respect I have never felt this abhorrent about myself before I must never ever drink again its been a week since my last episode im out of the marital home and today my work colleagues battered me to go for a drink which I refused I came straight home did some cooking and researched....my big problem is my wifes friends know and im highly embarresed by this however I think my poor wife may finally have washed her hands of me this time, im considering moving back to the UK andvreinventing myself no pressure no guilt.

Dee74

I've heard it said, and I believe it, the problem with 'the geographic cure' is that your problems all come with you.

I think I'd rather sort things out in a lovely place like NZ, but it's your call

Have you considered something like AA at all, or a non 12 step programme like SMART?

D

lardybarstow

I have had a look online at the 12 steps, im trying a different approach this week, I have always looked at the negative of not drinking basically its my choice, I have had a lot of choices taken away from me over the years im turning it around that not drinking is a massive choice and a good one the focus is my grandchildren how I want them to see me im worshiped but if she knew the truth.....its heartbreaking, I like driving to work knowing there is no risk I used to start earlier in the day to make sure I was ok for the following day...I haven't thought about alcohol at all this week however my shame will probably wane over the week's so know I have found this site I will read in the morning and look for strategies and advice over the coming weeks.

Dee74

Joining the Class of April support thread could be a massive help:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-2014-a-7.html

D

lardybarstow

I will thank you Dee,
Goodnight from NZ.

KateL

Hi Phil. I can identify with the grandchildren bit. My kids have seen me drunk, but my grandchildren never have which is a big thing for me xxxxxxx