PamperingMe

Good evening. Day 9. Attended a party I had committed to before I stopped drinking. Wine everywhere. I told my friend the host I wasn't drinking to give me accountability to myself and another. And I stuck with soda! But almost didn't. I want to write this out so I don't forget about it.

The party was to buy clothing and the sales lady referred to me as curvy in front of a large group and mentioned my clothing size. This is a huge trigger for me especially since I feel I've been eating more these last couple of weeks. It's my most sensitive issue. I felt very embarrassed.

I almost cracked. Then I remembered HALT. I was angry. I was really angry. I named the feeling and felt it. It sucked. I pulled a friend aside and told her I was angry. It was SO hard to give voice to my feeling. But I did. The friend cracked a joke that made me feel better.

It was very hard to resist picking up some wine. I kept telling myself I deserved it because someone hurt my feelings.

The anger is going away slowly. It's new to feel the feelings rather than numb them the split second they surface. Very difficult.

huntingtontx

You did great. The feelings that arise and handling them are really hard sometimes. I am really proud of you. It is not always easy to do the right thing. Again, you are doing so good.

LBrain

way to go pamperingme, thanks for sharing your strength!

Hevyn

Hi pampering. I agree - very hard to let the feelings flow rather than stifling them. I numbed myself for so many years, every time I was uncomfortable or challenged. It was unhealthy. We need to feel so we can grow - it sounds like you're learning something valuable. Proud of you.

queenofheartz09

That's awesome! You should be proud of yourself for being strong

biminiblue

Great job recognizing and dealing appropriately! Sharing it here is also a really good thing.

Aarryckha

Great job! Thank you for posting this. Personally, I find things like this really helpful.

DancingDiva

Awesome! I try to remember that drinking out of anger only hurts me, not the person who's irritating me. It's definitely better to talk it out than to try and drown it. Rock on!

LadyinBC

I am so glad you posted your experience with HALT because I am a big fan of it. It was one of the first things I learned from my alcohol counsellor and I used it a lot in the beginning and I still use it to this day.

When my counsellor first told me about it I thought it was load of crap until I had to use it the first time. It DOES work.

And congrats on day 9! That is fabulous.

roguedreams

Hey, you lived up to your user name! not drinking and acknowledging the anger IS the utter definition of pampering yourself - as weird as that may sound at first. Kudos to you!!!! Rock on!

Tang

HALT is one of the best tools in our toolbox. Nice job.