penny9175

So, yesterday was terrible. My AH came to pick up my stepsons (we're separated) and he was twitchy and being nasty. He ws being verbally abusive in front of them and I calmly said I can't do this anymore. So he grabbed me hard by the wrists and tossed me into the wall, in front of them and my 13 year old daughter. That was it, thankfully. I had a friend here, AH didn't know that, and he "kindly" escorted him from my home. I kissed my sons goodbye and told them that I loved them very much and asked my friend to get my cell phone from AH. He flipped out at that request and said I need my contacts! I said I would save them to the SIM card and give that to him. He threw the phone. He left very dark purple bruises on my wrists, a bump on my head and a scar in my daughters mind. These bruises are making me strong today. I called a lawyer and since we have no jointly owned property (house was and still is in my name, he sold our car) no accounts in both our names anymore or anything that binds us besides the marriage certificate the divorce should go pretty smoothly, unles he contests it, which right now I doubt he'd do. I know I should have called the police, he was high and I shouldn't have let him drive down the road to his parents house with the boys but at the time I just wanted it over. I just wanted him away. I still do. After he left he got a text saying sorry you got fired today guy from one of his friends. I'm not surprised. I got a really rotten text from his mother last night saying how horrible I am, so vindictive and so mean spirited. She told me I'm a terrible mother and I don't deserve having my stepsons in my life. I'm horrible because I'm protecting my daughter? It baffles me because they have seen this behavior before many times. Of course I'm the bad guy. My only response to her was to please not contact me anymore. My daughter had spoken to a counselor yesterday before all this happened, thank god, so she was prepared for what had to happen. I will never tolerate physical abuse, and maybe that was exactly what I needed to be able to walk away. So today I feel strong, I feel confident and I feel much better because I know I don't have to deal with this crazy life anymore. These past few months have been so ridiculous. I'm so happy I closed this door before it got worse or his aggression got any stronger. I'm not worried about what happens to him. I am concerned for the boys, but I have been told many times in the past 3 months I have no rights when it comes to them so I'm doing my best to remember that. I am powerless against the disease, I am powerless agains the enablers. The only thing I can control is how I react and how I handle my life and I'm proud of where I am emotionally today. When he hurt me, he made the final decision for me. This forum has been amazing and has given me more strength through all your stories than anything else. Thank you all!!!!

lizwig

I'm so sorry you and the children had to experience that. The boys will reach an age at some point where they may have to make the same decision to place boundaries with him. I also believe they know you love them. Sending prayers for strength to all of you today.

hopeful4

Good for you. I hope you hotline him for his stepsons. What a miserable person.

You know, I understand your relief. My marriage ended ugly in front of my kids, more verbal than physical but ugly. I am so relieved it is OVER! We have kids together so it will never be completely over, but my emoational and physical bond is forever broken and it makes me happy.

His family has surprised me too, they are bing very short and snippy w/me. They know this has been coming for years and that I did nothing. However, I am not dumb. Now they have to deal with him and it's wearing pretty thin on them. O well, sucks for them. Now they know how I have felt all of these years.

I wish you a peaceful day!!! I do encourage you to make a police report b/c you don't know what will happen in the future.

God Bless.

penny9175

My father had me get a restraining order today. He saw the bruises when he stopped by and of course I was so embarrassed I didn't want to admit I let a man get that way with me. Thank you for your encouragement. I do hope that if things get worse his parents do what is right. I'm afraid of retailiation if I were to report him, he lives within walking distance right now..I'm leaving it in God's hands at this point.