When?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: NJ
Posts: 170
When?
Hi all, I'm 70+ days in and I guess this is directed at our long timers. Anyone who can relate, please share how long it took before you were no longer thinking about sobriety all the time. I know it's important to stay focused and diligent. But I feel that's almost all I think about. Do (or did) others have the same experience? Overall, I'm doing well, but I just want to start getting on with my life and not be thinking about it constantly. As always, thanks for your feedback!
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
When does recovery end and working at making ones life glorious start ? , i don't know .
For me it's a new way of dealing with life , of handling things , rather than hiding in a bottle and letting things just happen , I'm now dealing with things and working on my healthy habits like not procrastinating and accepting things i have no control over . I neither think about drink nor not drinking . I think about my life and look about to see if i can apply myself to it better and resolve any issues that happen .
I work on those things that used to motivate me to use the soporific effects of drink to change how i felt briefly , nowadays i work on reality, changing or accepting things .
I never think of myself as different from anyone else, other than knowing alcohol isn't for me , like smoking isn't for me or war films … I don't deliberate over it i just know .
Bestwishes, m
For me it's a new way of dealing with life , of handling things , rather than hiding in a bottle and letting things just happen , I'm now dealing with things and working on my healthy habits like not procrastinating and accepting things i have no control over . I neither think about drink nor not drinking . I think about my life and look about to see if i can apply myself to it better and resolve any issues that happen .
I work on those things that used to motivate me to use the soporific effects of drink to change how i felt briefly , nowadays i work on reality, changing or accepting things .
I never think of myself as different from anyone else, other than knowing alcohol isn't for me , like smoking isn't for me or war films … I don't deliberate over it i just know .
Bestwishes, m
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I think once I reached 90 days or so my focus shifted from simply not drinking to looking at what other parts of my were broken and needed attention.
What have you been doing for your recovery so far Betterlife1?
D
What have you been doing for your recovery so far Betterlife1?
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
I'm creeping up on a year and a half; that probably doesn't make me a "long timer" but maybe my perspective will be helpful. My answer is that it depends. The first month or two I was a little wobbly- I knew I needed to stay sober but I wasn't yet sure what that meant for my life. Early on every day sober was a major victory. At six months I was starting to feel pretty confident that sobriety was going to "take" so to speak.
At a year I started to really identify myself not as someone that doesn't drink anymore to someone that just doesn't drink...if that makes sense. Not dwelling on staying stopped but rather just exploring my own life.
I'm keenly aware that everything I've built could come crashing down on me if I drink again. But I've also realized there's no mystery to it, no random chance that I will fail. AVRT has trained me to recognize Beast Thinking and sidestep it immediately.
This is a long non-answer to your simply question! For that I apologize. Just trying to explain the path I'm on and how I got here.
At a year I started to really identify myself not as someone that doesn't drink anymore to someone that just doesn't drink...if that makes sense. Not dwelling on staying stopped but rather just exploring my own life.
I'm keenly aware that everything I've built could come crashing down on me if I drink again. But I've also realized there's no mystery to it, no random chance that I will fail. AVRT has trained me to recognize Beast Thinking and sidestep it immediately.
This is a long non-answer to your simply question! For that I apologize. Just trying to explain the path I'm on and how I got here.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 114
Let me say first, congrats for 70 days!
It's always toughest at first. Over time, the more educated you become, the easier it should be. Have you found a way to meet other sober alcoholics or addicts?
Andy
It's always toughest at first. Over time, the more educated you become, the easier it should be. Have you found a way to meet other sober alcoholics or addicts?
Andy
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi and congratulations on your 70 days. I and most alcoholics hate "it takes time" and may add that it took XXX years to go into the woods it's going to take at least xxx years to get out. Personally I thing a lot has to do with the individual. A thing that helped me was being taught not to thing about drinking, think about not drinking. It took a week or two but it worked for me for many years now.
I thing going to meetings helped because it gave me the flesh to flesh remember when we all need.
BE WELL
I thing going to meetings helped because it gave me the flesh to flesh remember when we all need.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Great on seventy days. It does take time but it will gradually start just flowing. Mecanix has some really good words. I get frustrated sometimes when I think about all the thinking about sobriety but I know that it is more than just not drinking. I focus on the things I can do now that I wouldn't have done before. Once in a while as I progress I get spontaneous flashes where I suddenly see my life differently and relate. Last night I was picking my daughter up from her sport and was talking to another mom who was there. She happened to also be a former AA sponsor of mine and we are friendly. We chatted. We retrieved our kindergartners. We gathered our things and walked out the door. All very mundane actions but I suddenly thought to myself "this is what sober people do. This is what life is like. This woman and I are both alcoholics but here we are as moms who choose not to drink." It was kind of like the blinds coming up to let in the sun.
I don't know if that makes sense to you but that is how it is working for me. Little glimmers at a time. They have been getting more frequent as I get on. I have four and a half months.
I don't know if that makes sense to you but that is how it is working for me. Little glimmers at a time. They have been getting more frequent as I get on. I have four and a half months.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Hey Fonz,
I'm only a few weeks ahead of you. But I can say that just this week, maybe cause my birthday was Monday, that I started with a different attitude. I am no longer concerning myself with sobriety as a daily struggle. I am now becoming more focused on starting to do things. Opening of trout season has helped. And I'm looking forward to walking 18 now that spring is finally here.
As far as putting it in the rear view mirror, I don't know. I still have to remind myself every day that I cannot drink. No matter what silly notions may come into my head. I don't have enough time for it to be second nature to me that I can't drink.
Unfortunately for me, I have days full of 'nothing' to do. I don't know if I need to start sending out resumes or anything yet. Right now I'm just living day by day, waiting the "phone call".
I'm only a few weeks ahead of you. But I can say that just this week, maybe cause my birthday was Monday, that I started with a different attitude. I am no longer concerning myself with sobriety as a daily struggle. I am now becoming more focused on starting to do things. Opening of trout season has helped. And I'm looking forward to walking 18 now that spring is finally here.
As far as putting it in the rear view mirror, I don't know. I still have to remind myself every day that I cannot drink. No matter what silly notions may come into my head. I don't have enough time for it to be second nature to me that I can't drink.
Unfortunately for me, I have days full of 'nothing' to do. I don't know if I need to start sending out resumes or anything yet. Right now I'm just living day by day, waiting the "phone call".
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: NJ
Posts: 170
Thank you all for the feedback and support. It's really appreciated!!
Dee, I listened and re-listened to the Allen Carr book (Easy Way to Control Alcohol), as well as some other similar audiobooks. I practice AVRT and read SR. Recently, I have been listening to some other self help audiobooks not related to sobriety. That's about it!
Mejorando, I have friends all over the spectrum when it comes to drinking. I have not made any new sober friends (besides all you good people) since quitting drinking.
Dee, I listened and re-listened to the Allen Carr book (Easy Way to Control Alcohol), as well as some other similar audiobooks. I practice AVRT and read SR. Recently, I have been listening to some other self help audiobooks not related to sobriety. That's about it!
Mejorando, I have friends all over the spectrum when it comes to drinking. I have not made any new sober friends (besides all you good people) since quitting drinking.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
I'm over 8 months now.
So,not really a long timer....yet.
But,I think about sobriety often. The reason I visit this wonderful site often.
But,I think about breaking that sobriety never.
It's strange,but all of a sudden that AV will shrink to just a small whisper on occasion.
So,not really a long timer....yet.
But,I think about sobriety often. The reason I visit this wonderful site often.
But,I think about breaking that sobriety never.
It's strange,but all of a sudden that AV will shrink to just a small whisper on occasion.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Sobriety, Recovery is my way of life. Everything
that was so freely passed on to me, whether it
be in rehab, or the many many meetings Ive
attended over my 23 yrs sober, has all contributed
to living a successful recovery life day in and
day out.
I try to remember that it is okay to have fun
in recovery. In fact they insist on us enjoying
outself and to not take ourselves to darn serious
at times.
It's hard not to think about recovery or sobriety
when I have plaques hung on the wall behind
my TV to glance upon during the day. They
remind me of where I was first inspired to get
them for myself. It was a Speaker meeting where
up there next to the podium on a table sat all those
wonderful, meaningful, helpful sayings I learned
from the beginning and have incorporated them
in my everyday life.
How can I not think of recovery when I am
reminded of our symbol used in Alcoholics
Anonymous right there on either my finger
with a ring or around my neck with a pendant
on a leather cord.
Then another awesome sticker on our Motorcycle,
a lic. plate frame, or rear window sticker to allow
others who are familiar with the AA recovery program
to know that they are not alone and that I too am
a member.
I recall before I entered recovery back in the
day, we stopped at a light behind a truck and
there on his back window was a sticker that said
Friends Of Bill W.. I thought to myself, who the
hell was Bill W. ?
Who do thunk that that sticker would become
something instrumental in my life yrs later. Then,
another strange coincidence...or was it meant
to be.....but as a child, verbally, physically,
emotionally abused by a sick parent, had her
little bible next to her chair, where one day
I was thumbing thru it and took one of her
prayer cards with the Serenity Prayer on it.
Yes, I kept it, even tho today I know it was
wrong to steal it, but out of desperation at
that time in my life, it seemed to be something
she wouldnt remember having and something
I felt I needed as I out of many times cried to
my HP for help and later become a prayer I
would use a zillion times and more in recovery.
AA has and will continue to be the foundation
I have built my life upon and continue to incorporate
in my everyday life. I never ever want to forget
where I was before recovery, during recovery,
and today in recovery.
It's my life which allows me to live happy,
joyous and free, healthy and honest.
that was so freely passed on to me, whether it
be in rehab, or the many many meetings Ive
attended over my 23 yrs sober, has all contributed
to living a successful recovery life day in and
day out.
I try to remember that it is okay to have fun
in recovery. In fact they insist on us enjoying
outself and to not take ourselves to darn serious
at times.
It's hard not to think about recovery or sobriety
when I have plaques hung on the wall behind
my TV to glance upon during the day. They
remind me of where I was first inspired to get
them for myself. It was a Speaker meeting where
up there next to the podium on a table sat all those
wonderful, meaningful, helpful sayings I learned
from the beginning and have incorporated them
in my everyday life.
How can I not think of recovery when I am
reminded of our symbol used in Alcoholics
Anonymous right there on either my finger
with a ring or around my neck with a pendant
on a leather cord.
Then another awesome sticker on our Motorcycle,
a lic. plate frame, or rear window sticker to allow
others who are familiar with the AA recovery program
to know that they are not alone and that I too am
a member.
I recall before I entered recovery back in the
day, we stopped at a light behind a truck and
there on his back window was a sticker that said
Friends Of Bill W.. I thought to myself, who the
hell was Bill W. ?
Who do thunk that that sticker would become
something instrumental in my life yrs later. Then,
another strange coincidence...or was it meant
to be.....but as a child, verbally, physically,
emotionally abused by a sick parent, had her
little bible next to her chair, where one day
I was thumbing thru it and took one of her
prayer cards with the Serenity Prayer on it.
Yes, I kept it, even tho today I know it was
wrong to steal it, but out of desperation at
that time in my life, it seemed to be something
she wouldnt remember having and something
I felt I needed as I out of many times cried to
my HP for help and later become a prayer I
would use a zillion times and more in recovery.
AA has and will continue to be the foundation
I have built my life upon and continue to incorporate
in my everyday life. I never ever want to forget
where I was before recovery, during recovery,
and today in recovery.
It's my life which allows me to live happy,
joyous and free, healthy and honest.
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
I am nearly three years. For the first 90 days or so, my thinking was very "driven" and the "alcohol issue" was always at the forfront of my mind. At times it was draining and I felt I needed a break. It does settle down in time- having said that here I am at 6.30am logging on to SR.
I thought of it this way. At the end of my drinking, I was thinking about alcohol and all the related issues all the time anyway. The space for anything else had shrunk markedly although I was still working and superficially doing other things. So when I stopped drinking that space was filled with "recovery" but without the periodic relief afforded by intoxication. It is an addiction and I think it takes time for the biology of the brain to get back to some semblance of an even keel. My emotions were not really stable for the first six months (that's not to say that I was doing it tough- within the first two weeks life was much better overall).
Things do continue to change and that is most marked in the first two years although if someone had told me that at 70 days I would not have believed them.
Enjoy the adventure
I thought of it this way. At the end of my drinking, I was thinking about alcohol and all the related issues all the time anyway. The space for anything else had shrunk markedly although I was still working and superficially doing other things. So when I stopped drinking that space was filled with "recovery" but without the periodic relief afforded by intoxication. It is an addiction and I think it takes time for the biology of the brain to get back to some semblance of an even keel. My emotions were not really stable for the first six months (that's not to say that I was doing it tough- within the first two weeks life was much better overall).
Things do continue to change and that is most marked in the first two years although if someone had told me that at 70 days I would not have believed them.
Enjoy the adventure
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
I wish I'd kept track - but it was somewhere between 3 & 6 mos. that I stopped obsessing. Not drinking was always on my mind at first, & I was afraid I'd stay in that unnatural state. At some point I stopped feeling like something was missing. I also stopped replaying the bad things that had happened. I put the remorse and regrets in the past - and I began to live my new life of freedom.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Europe
Posts: 291
For me, the obsessive thinking went away after roughly 120 days.
That said, 22 months in, I still actively think/read/talk/write about my sobriety 2 to 3 hours a day. Mostly reading.
Compared to the obsession of my drinking, that's about 15 hours less (hey, I need my beauty sleep!) than before.
So far it's working.
That said, 22 months in, I still actively think/read/talk/write about my sobriety 2 to 3 hours a day. Mostly reading.
Compared to the obsession of my drinking, that's about 15 hours less (hey, I need my beauty sleep!) than before.
So far it's working.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
When you do the work necessary to change yourself inside is the answer.
I couldn't have continued to want to be sober long term if I was getting thoughts of drinking or having to be on my guard all the time against an inanimate bottle of booze. I do know people that avoid alcohol sections in supermarkets and will never go to any function with alcohol there but this does not have to be you long term. Now that you are not drinking you have a choice of being free from your addiction or managing your addiction.
I couldn't have continued to want to be sober long term if I was getting thoughts of drinking or having to be on my guard all the time against an inanimate bottle of booze. I do know people that avoid alcohol sections in supermarkets and will never go to any function with alcohol there but this does not have to be you long term. Now that you are not drinking you have a choice of being free from your addiction or managing your addiction.
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