Pregnant... due in 3 days
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 3
Pregnant... due in 3 days
And my boyfriend drinks beer everyday, barely drinks hard alcohol. When he does drink hard alcohol, it's only a couple shots. Some days he starts drinking at noon and keeps going until bedtime. We got into a fight a couple hours ago, I was freaking out because we're poor and about to have a baby. And then it escalated because I was upset that he was so buzzed he was slurring his words. He's passed out now.
I want to get a job after the baby comes and I can't leave our baby alone with him if he's having beer.
He's said he'll stop drinking so much after the baby comes, that he's 'getting it out of his system' We've had fights over his drinking a lot lately. Sometimes I feel guilty about making a big deal out of it. Sometimes I feel he just can't help himself.
I'm in love with this guy. I'm emotionally drained, and I'm worried. I don't know if he is an alcoholic.
Will someone please tell me what I need to do
I want to get a job after the baby comes and I can't leave our baby alone with him if he's having beer.
He's said he'll stop drinking so much after the baby comes, that he's 'getting it out of his system' We've had fights over his drinking a lot lately. Sometimes I feel guilty about making a big deal out of it. Sometimes I feel he just can't help himself.
I'm in love with this guy. I'm emotionally drained, and I'm worried. I don't know if he is an alcoholic.
Will someone please tell me what I need to do
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
Hi Jade
I'm not sure if any of us can tell you what to do....
I hope your bf holds true to his word and straightens up and flies right when the baby's born...but have you given any thought to what you'll do if he doesn't?
Regardless of that, I know you'll find a lot of support and understanding here
D
I'm not sure if any of us can tell you what to do....
I hope your bf holds true to his word and straightens up and flies right when the baby's born...but have you given any thought to what you'll do if he doesn't?
Regardless of that, I know you'll find a lot of support and understanding here
D
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
First thing is you need to think of you and the baby. That is your priority. He is a big boy.
It probably wouldn't hurt if you could get yourself to some Al-anon meetings. You will find lots of support here and there is also the family forum:
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
The peeps there are great (and here too). Feel free to post in both sections.
It probably wouldn't hurt if you could get yourself to some Al-anon meetings. You will find lots of support here and there is also the family forum:
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
The peeps there are great (and here too). Feel free to post in both sections.
.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 684
No one can tell you what to do in this situation, but listening to your intuition is always a good idea.
I was in your position 27 years ago, and I know exactly how scary it is. Taking care of your child and yourself are your most important responsibilities, can you do that while staying in your relationship?
Be strong Mama, trust your instincts, and take care of yourself. And drink lots of water. It's important to be well hydrated when you go through labor. I wish you well.
I was in your position 27 years ago, and I know exactly how scary it is. Taking care of your child and yourself are your most important responsibilities, can you do that while staying in your relationship?
Be strong Mama, trust your instincts, and take care of yourself. And drink lots of water. It's important to be well hydrated when you go through labor. I wish you well.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 169
Kind of similar to my situation, got pregnant to 21 and thought he would change. Your main people of importance is you and your baby. Not him. He is going to be a liability and distraction. He is not someone safe with your baby.
If he changes in the future and this the right thing, then all is well. Right now face reality, and you have to do it. And you will.
If he changes in the future and this the right thing, then all is well. Right now face reality, and you have to do it. And you will.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 92
I hope you can focus on you and the baby these last few days.
I was in a similar situation. When the baby came, the stress of parenting and increased responsibility made him drink MORE. I was so focused on the baby and myself I couldn't give him any attention, he said, which also caused him to drink more.
I hope he rises to the challenge. For your sake and the sake of your family.
Please know you have support here.
Best for a safe and healthy delivery.
I was in a similar situation. When the baby came, the stress of parenting and increased responsibility made him drink MORE. I was so focused on the baby and myself I couldn't give him any attention, he said, which also caused him to drink more.
I hope he rises to the challenge. For your sake and the sake of your family.
Please know you have support here.
Best for a safe and healthy delivery.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Happy for you for the little one coming.
I can only share my story and tell you what to do.
I was your boyfriend 7 years ago, meaning the drinking. When my son was born I did not slow down at all. I wanted to but could not. Suffice to say that my girlfriend left me because of it when my son was 2 1/2. We got shared custody. The week I had my son I would drink a lot less. Long story short her leaving me was the best thing that ever happened for my sobriety. I know this sounds tragic, but today I am sober, me and my ex are best friends, our son is perfectly healthy and happy. He says he's lucky cause he has 2 houses. Yikes this is long, sorry, sometimes the tough choices end up being the right ones on the long term. If I was still with her, I would have slipped deeper. But I had a little one to father one week out of 2. The love for him would prevent me from drinking to black out levels.
I just realized this might not help. Your baby comes first, voila, short version.
I can only share my story and tell you what to do.
I was your boyfriend 7 years ago, meaning the drinking. When my son was born I did not slow down at all. I wanted to but could not. Suffice to say that my girlfriend left me because of it when my son was 2 1/2. We got shared custody. The week I had my son I would drink a lot less. Long story short her leaving me was the best thing that ever happened for my sobriety. I know this sounds tragic, but today I am sober, me and my ex are best friends, our son is perfectly healthy and happy. He says he's lucky cause he has 2 houses. Yikes this is long, sorry, sometimes the tough choices end up being the right ones on the long term. If I was still with her, I would have slipped deeper. But I had a little one to father one week out of 2. The love for him would prevent me from drinking to black out levels.
I just realized this might not help. Your baby comes first, voila, short version.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
Welcome to SR! Here is to a safe labor! Is this your first? I was a nutball nester and of course I wanted my H to shape up as a father. He wrote our new baby a letter drunk so only I could read it the writing was such a mess! 
. But having a little one is an icredible experience and really makes you reevaluate your priorities. Be safe and take things one day at a time!
See you over in Friends & Family section soon!
. But having a little one is an icredible experience and really makes you reevaluate your priorities. Be safe and take things one day at a time!See you over in Friends & Family section soon!
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