Bernadette777

Hi gang!

Can I just vent a little?.... I'm pissed that his damns addiction to drugs & booze stole/robbed & cheated my exAbf of a great relationship. Oh and may I say that I'm pissed off that he chose those chemicals over me & my love for him . And while I'm at it... Damn it, I'm pissed he walked away from me!! I really don't like the fact that whether he is drunk, stoned or both that his actions & words spoke for him in saying goodbye to me. If I could I'd call the booze the ba$tard & the drugs the crap! His commitment to those substances had the last word between us. I could care less if he is drunk or high as long as I could say goodbye first. I pissed that he got the last word. I'd still like to the the chemicals & their user off & tell him to get help. Ok.... I'm done. Excuse me please because if it weren't for SR, I'd be texting him instead of you angels! Have good pm

amy55

You can vent here anytime, I'm listening, and proud of you for coming here first. He won't hear you, but I do.

amy55

Also want to give you some ((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))

hopeful4

Vent away my friend, he is no longer that person. Addiction is progressive and changes them into a different person. XXX

Bernadette777

Thanks you guys! I send love to you guys thanks for being here & for being you! Bernadette 777 ps- how do I get this to post into the forum ? What did I miss on thread process- I guess I'm pissed & non tech savy!

SiRiDiPiTi

Love it! And one of the reasons I love SR too, it gives my fingers an outlet that would otherwise be lost on pointless texts and emails that only open the door for a crap storm.

amy55

huh???? You did post this in the forum. you are doing really well. We're here for you.

amy55

Hey Bern, Was trying myself how to start a new thread. Couldn't figure it out, but when I need to, I'll find it. Just as computer illiterate as you are. (lol) But you did manage to post this in the right forum.

So how are you doing?

amy55

Ok, go to the top, press forum tools, then press start new thread

Bernadette777

Hi Amy55,

Cool thanks, me and posting isn't always effective but.. Damn it, I Do try! I'm doing alright, feeling more ticked off & robbed if my chance to let him know how I feel - but from reading it seems that my exAbf wouldnt have the capacity to listen anyway due to his addictions. Did you receive my Private message? Hope your well! All have a blessed day. Bernadette 777

Thinking

So glad that you are moving another step away from here by coming here first. Well done, you!!!

Bernadette777

Is it really alcohol & drugs progressive? He has had a stress last year and maybe that made him use/drink more? What if he walked away & got sober? I mean if he is getting sober...wonderful, i mean that. but if he's getting sober & still turned his back on me... Well then that would like suck. If he found somebody to drink & use drugs with.. Well I guess that's a recipe for craziness, ahh I pissed at him, my exAbf- dumb---

amy55

Yes, I did get your PM, thank you for that.

Sometimes we spend years and years, or decades in my case trying to figure things out and what went wrong. The thing is, a relationship should feel good.

Yes, alcohol, and drugs are progressive. If he got sober, then good for him. Behavior is also progressive.

((((((((((hugs))))))))))

Bernadette777

Thanks Amy, I'd like to ask him if he is working on sobriety- it would probably **** him off. I wonder if he stopped, or got into AA. The fact fact that I'm not reached out to, makes me think he doesn't want to stop. His friends have money & that life style is their dream, "live fast party good" I just wanted a normal guy... Wtf right? You're right tho. He likes his lifestyle. I remember he once said ," I work hard all week, I deserve to be rewarded with a few drinks" then he caught himself. And said,"I know, it's not a reward" some bs huh?

Pia

Oh Bernadette777- I'm so sorry sending you a virtual hug!!

Also is he hanging out with my husband. I too lost my marriage to alcohol and drugs.
Yes the drugs and alcohol is progressive.
I never thought it would affect him since he has been this way years before I knew anything but it has gotten worse since I found out.

Working on you is the only thing you have control of. I have to tell myself when my thoughts start to go in his direction I am only robbing myself of peace in my head and to focus on me. I tell myself this several times a day.

I know it sucks to think of him having such a good time with out you . Mine too has this lifestyle but in reality he isn't. He use to drunk call me telling me how sad he is hanging with his friends and i'm not there. so I know he isn't as happy as he tries to be

Bernadette777

Thanks Dear Thinking, I'm trying to understand that addict behavior of him and wrap my head around why his drugs & booze are better then me. He sucks...

Bernadette777

Thank you Radiant for the wonderful healing words. Ok- I will focus on me. He is a half ass musician rock star wanna be- whatever. I'm also pissed for letting him take me on this nutty ride- because I knew. I just wanted some happiness with a new man since the one before this exAbf was the love of my life... He got someone else pregnant and had to marry her. But that's another story. It broke his heart to leave me too. But that's old history now. Enough, when exAbf tries to creep in my heart & head- I will think of me & being safe- emotionally & physically. Big hugs to you too. Xo Bernadette 777 (ps, I'd go nuts if I didn't have you all on SR) luv xoxo