Raider

Ok I've had the Fuzz for a week. In that week, I have had zero cravings. I don't think it's just because she is a cat. I know I can't take care of her while drunk. She sleeps with me, I can't be thrashing around. She isn't a lot of work, but I begged, coerced, threatened and cried to my H because I wanted her and he didn't. He finally caved. I am keeping the workload off him because I said I would. I can't do that drunk. By the way, we have three other animals.

Question. I'm going to Alaska for a month may 2. My husband will stay here in Utah. I asked my parents if I could bring Fuzz. I will be staying with my sister who lives right around the corner from parents. They agreed, I made reservations for Fuzz. The plan is to keep Fuzz in the daytime with folks, and bring her to sleep at my sisters. Sister has a small dog. Cut: now three days later, everyone is having a fit because Fuzz is coming to Alaska. They say, Fuzz will be too much work, no place to keep her, the whole trip will be about Fuzz. Fuzz is very little work.

Last time I was in Alaska, I had a few huge relapses. I like the way the responsibility of Fuzz keeps me from craving booze. I can easily cancel the trip for Fuzz but I don't want to.

Am I being the typical selfish addict by bringing Fuzz? Am I being unreasonable? Tell me what you think!!! It's ok, give me your best shot. I really need your advice. Thank you.

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Olive1

Fuzz is so cute!


Can you cancel the trip for you?
When I first got sober, I had to stay close to home and build up my personal sober reserves before I ventured off to stressful situations.

toddle118

No I dont think youre being selfish, anything that helps you to stop drinking surely is a good thing...and as a cat lover I would take her. They agreed initially, they arent being very caring are they? Love the pic x

biminiblue

If it were me and my sobriety, I might cancel the trip altogether, but more because I was confused about my family's right to tell me what to do. That said, I've taken my dog without "permission" to visit family. He was my responsibility, and it really wasn't an option. Had they told me I couldn't have him there, I would have shortened my visit and either stayed in a motel with my dog or boarded him. I've done both of those things with my cats in years gone by.

Raider

I have not told them about the help from taking of Fuzz has drove away most of my liquor desires. That doesn't seem fair. ?

ReadyAtLast

No you're not being selfish wanting to bring Fuzz,( very cute btw ) However , I understand that others may not want her in their house etc

I remember you going last time and your relapse. If I were you I would seriously think about going if there is any chance it will affect your sobriety-whatever the reason is.

you are doing so so well in what has been a very difficult journey for you. Please don't jeopardize it

afloatsober

Raider
Think maybe you need to consider if a trip to the place/situation that you had a few 'huge relapses' is the smartest move so early in your recovery.
I have no doubt Fuzz would survive another relapse.
You may not..
Be safe.
G

sillysuzanfree

I agree with the others. If you can cancel the trip for you then that's what I would do. Taking any trip at all during the first year of sobriety is a risk in my opinion. I don't think Fuzz should be the issue here one way or the other. How much does your family know about your sobriety? Perhaps they thought about it and are envisioning the way you were last time you were there?? That's why they think Fuzz might be a problem??? Just a suggestion...

firstymer

Ugh. Family. I love mine, but they drive me crazy. Bring Fuzz. Your family will figure out, once you get there, that she isn't a concern.

By the way, haven't I seen Fuzz before? Like, sitting on the lap of Dr. Evil in an Austin Powers movie?

Have a nice trip, Raider. You have earned it.

Hope4Life

Hi Raider,

Maybe you could reschedule your trip? You and Fuzz are just getting to know each other and Fuzz is still trying to figure out where she is and what her new life will be like with you. If you don't think you can leave her with your husband and stay confident in your sobriety on your visit, then maybe staying home would be the best option.

As a Cat owner and lover, I really don't think traveling would be the best idea for Fuzz right now. I know my cat FREAKS OUT anytime I take her ANYWHERE! The stress causes her to scream and yelp constantly till we get back home. I have started utilizing a Mobile Vet service that comes right to my house so that I don't stress her out.

Don't be disappointed with your family for wanting you all to themselves.....

Pipefish

A cat that helps load the dishwasher What more could anyone want? Cute

Raider, you've had some really good advice here, and I'd go with the coupla posters who have suggested postponing? The last thing anyone in early sobriety needs is avoidable stress, and hanging at home for a while to establish your roots may be a good way to go

Your call though ultimately...very best to you

Leshar

Hi Raider, I have to agree with others here who suggest you might want to revisit your trip. If your family seems to be making an issue about whether or not you bring a little cat, it would seem to me that other family dynamics could possibly arise which might put your new sobriety at risk.

I have determined that I will not visit with my family until I have at least a year of sobriety under my belt. It just feels safer.
Good luck with your decision.

SeekingGrowth

I would definitely take Fuzz. Cats are not much work or trouble at all - I can't see why this would be a problem for your family. And I would be upfront about your relapse concern, given your past experience spending time in Alaska, and the help Fuzz gives you in staying sober. If your family still has a problem with you bringing Fuzz, then I would postpone the trip to a later time, when you have more time in sobriety and you've spent more time with your sweet little animal.

Love the picture, BTW!

heath480

Can you postpone this trip,early sobriety is such an emotional time.

If you have only had Fuzz a week she is only beginning to settle in with you.I always think cats like their home territory,I only once took a cat on holiday with me,she spent the entire time hiding in a cupboard under the stairs,not a happy time for her or me.

2bhappier

I have sphynx cats! I love them. Fuzz is adorable. I think all that travel could be hard on Fuzz though. I don't like to stress my animals unless I have no other choice.

KissMyTiara

Agreed it would be unfair to Fuzz to take a trip like that. She is just getting accustomed to her new home and environment. My cats would have a heart attack from the stress of a trip like that.

Anna

Stay home and love your cat, Raider. Cats don't travel well and they love their home and their routine. Anything else causes them stress.

I love the dishwasher photo.

Holli

Fuzz is adorable, and Anna is right, cats don't travel well. Is there a neighborhood kid who can pet sit for you? I will warn you that this isn't cheap, but at least your husband can't pretend to be inconvenienced (it's a cat, for Pete's sake!!). :-)

Anna, your cats are beautiful, too. I also have almost identical cats because I couldn't leave the straggly last of the litter at the SPCA where I rescued his sister. Proud cat person here.

ReadyAndAble

Hi, Raider. Fuzz sure is a cool looking critter! But I think maybe you are giving her too much credit. You are keeping yourself sober. Way to go!

While Fuzz seems to know her away around the dishwasher, I'm guessing she hasn't actually grabbed a drink out of your hand. In which case, it isn't Fuzz that's helping you to stay sober. It's your love for Fuzz. And you can pack that love and take it anywhere you want. It's the ultimate carry-on item.

Matter of fact, my dog still helps to keep me on track—and he died two years ago. (What a good dog, lol!)

My two cents: if you think you're not ready to go without Fuzz, then you're probably not ready to go, period.

Besides, so much to do right there in Utah. Has she explored the refrigerator yet?

Straightshoot

Wondering, would it be too cold in Alaska for Fuzz? I see Fuzz has a cute jacket on. I think I have read that they are sensitive to cold. I think you are a wise and strong person and whatever decision you make will be a good one.