Today will be a challenge
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Great White North
Posts: 92
Today will be a challenge
Hi, SR,
Day Eleven no alcohol for me. That's great, but these last couple days have been made more easy because circumstances have made it difficult to drink--I am out of town helping family members move into a new house, so I have been busy, without my own car, and surrounded by family that I don't want to drink and pass out in front of. I'm a little haunted by the question: how durable is a sobriety that has been sheltered from the challenges you will encounter later.
Well, today is later. I will spend all day on airplanes and in airports getting across North America. My track record shows that travel days like this are hard for me: ready access to beer and vodka at airport bars and on planes, all surrounded by strangers who don't care and don't even know I'm working to stay sober. I can already hear the AV warming up in my head: "Today is the day, man! You've been doing great, and now you can ease up a little and have a couple drinks. Nobody will know, and you can drink in some bar you'll never go back to again in your whole life. Besides, what else have you got to do today, you're just sitting there, you might as well enjoy yourself."
Ugh. That AV pitch may be particularly tough to resist later in the day when I am tired and worn out by all the noise and chaos of traveling. I will try to check in here at SR a few times today as cell usage allows. Please send me your hopes and good vibes. Thanks for indulging my selfishness here...I can really use your help.
Day Eleven no alcohol for me. That's great, but these last couple days have been made more easy because circumstances have made it difficult to drink--I am out of town helping family members move into a new house, so I have been busy, without my own car, and surrounded by family that I don't want to drink and pass out in front of. I'm a little haunted by the question: how durable is a sobriety that has been sheltered from the challenges you will encounter later.
Well, today is later. I will spend all day on airplanes and in airports getting across North America. My track record shows that travel days like this are hard for me: ready access to beer and vodka at airport bars and on planes, all surrounded by strangers who don't care and don't even know I'm working to stay sober. I can already hear the AV warming up in my head: "Today is the day, man! You've been doing great, and now you can ease up a little and have a couple drinks. Nobody will know, and you can drink in some bar you'll never go back to again in your whole life. Besides, what else have you got to do today, you're just sitting there, you might as well enjoy yourself."
Ugh. That AV pitch may be particularly tough to resist later in the day when I am tired and worn out by all the noise and chaos of traveling. I will try to check in here at SR a few times today as cell usage allows. Please send me your hopes and good vibes. Thanks for indulging my selfishness here...I can really use your help.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Sierra Vista, AZ
Posts: 133
Hang in there! I travel alot for my job as well. Remeber how it feels when you wake up...not a happy time for me when I break down. I read alot when I travel. A good novel will keep you occupied.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Its good that you recognize future points when you're going to be feeling more vulnerable to your AV. I think it helps to plan ahead to have something I will do when that AV starts yapping. Something like I know that AV will be barking when I get home all worn out, so I will stop for a milkshake on the way home to soothe myself a little.
In the end, though, the AV only has the power you relinquish to it. It can't make you do anything. It can only talk you into it with its sweet lies, Don't be fooled.
In the end, though, the AV only has the power you relinquish to it. It can't make you do anything. It can only talk you into it with its sweet lies, Don't be fooled.
Alcohol Free Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 482
Taproot, your "white-Knuckling", this is an expression I have heard on here where a person is holding on to sobriety trying desperatly not to drink.
You have to let go, relax and trust yourself. Have you ever done that truly before. Trust yourself simply not to buy any beer, not to ask the stewardess on the plane for a tin or a bottle.
Just say to yourself, "I trust myself not to do it", when you come through other end, your self confidence will be through the roof. I know mine was.
You have to let go, relax and trust yourself. Have you ever done that truly before. Trust yourself simply not to buy any beer, not to ask the stewardess on the plane for a tin or a bottle.
Just say to yourself, "I trust myself not to do it", when you come through other end, your self confidence will be through the roof. I know mine was.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Great White North
Posts: 92
Thanks everyone for your support. It is still early in the day, but so far so good.
You have to let go, relax and trust yourself. Have you ever done that truly before. Trust yourself simply not to buy any beer, not to ask the stewardess on the plane for a tin or a bottle.
Autan, you have touched on a very important point here. I agree I am "white knuckling," with fists clenched, because I actually do not trust myself. My track record over these last few years indicates a pattern of poor judgement and bad decisions on my part. I don't think I can trust myself...yet. Maybe if, by some miracle, my current attempt at sobriety lasts past the 30, 60, or even 90 day mark, and sobriety becomes more of a habit than a deliberate action, then I can lower the intensity a bit.
I look forward to the day when I wake up in the morning and sobriety and the temptation of alcohol aren't the first things I think of. But I'm not there yet. Until then I think I need to be very careful, very watchful, and defend my delicate sobriety with whatever strength I have. And I get a *lot* of strength from the community here at SR. I feel better about this attempt at sobriety than I felt about any previous attempt...one big bifference this time is I have "Team SR" backing me up. Thanks everyone, so far today is a great day!
Originally Posted by autan 
You have to let go, relax and trust yourself. Have you ever done that truly before. Trust yourself simply not to buy any beer, not to ask the stewardess on the plane for a tin or a bottle.
I look forward to the day when I wake up in the morning and sobriety and the temptation of alcohol aren't the first things I think of. But I'm not there yet. Until then I think I need to be very careful, very watchful, and defend my delicate sobriety with whatever strength I have. And I get a *lot* of strength from the community here at SR. I feel better about this attempt at sobriety than I felt about any previous attempt...one big bifference this time is I have "Team SR" backing me up. Thanks everyone, so far today is a great day!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Team, SR, is definitely backing you up, Tap. Keep us close; if you can't log on, envision us blocking your way into those airport bars holding WARNING; KEEP OUT; TOXIC ENVIRONMENT signs.
Safe travels.
Safe travels.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Great White North
Posts: 92
Checking in. A cancelled connection is making for one really long day...won't be home for many hours yet. The good news is: still alcohol-free! Day Eleven...taking nothing for granted.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Great White North
Posts: 92
Well one thing's for sure: dinner at the airport is a lot cheaper when you don't wash it down with four pints of beer... Still on track, watching out for "HALT," so got some chow and chatted with the spouse on the cell for a while. This day is an exercise in developing "sober living" skills.
Still I rise.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oh Canada!
Posts: 1,121
Originally Posted by Taproot
Well one thing's for sure: dinner at the airport is a lot cheaper when you don't wash it down with four pints of beer... Still on track, watching out for "HALT," so got some chow and chatted with the spouse on the cell for a while. This day is an exercise in developing "sober living" skills.
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