Chasingthedream

Hello, I am new here. Looked at this site for a few years but couldn't pluck up the courage until now to post. I have used drugs 'recreationally' for 20 years but about 8 years ago my coke use became something different. I started to use in secret, hiding it from my friends and husband. I use intermittently, sometimes going up to 7/8 weeks (or 2 yrs twice when I had my children) without using, but I always go back. I have realised recently that I use in order to cope with life, I use to deal with stress. Of course it just adds to the stress! I desperately want to quit for good, hence taking the first step and joining here, as I know I have to do something differently otherwise nothing will change. I am a mother of 2 beautiful children and am ashamed of myself. I can't believe I have let this happen to me. I appreciate you reading this.