Well, I am back
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: USA
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Well, I am back
I am trying to settle in to AVRT and even reading the Easy Way book as well as my many attempts at moderation have not gone to plan. I can still go a week at a time without a drop but when I let go on Friday night or Saturday.... never ends well. My dad was in AA for over a decade and passed away late last year around the holidays which not only crushed me, but kicked me in the ass to just quit and get alcohol out of my life. I need a support system and am hoping to find it here as I cannot and will not do AA. If anyone has any secular advice, I am all ears and look forward to being here while I get this thing licked.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
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Originally Posted by 4mykids723 
I am trying to settle in to AVRT and even reading the Easy Way book as well as my many attempts at moderation have not gone to plan. I can still go a week at a time without a drop but when I let go on Friday night or Saturday.... never ends well. My dad was in AA for over a decade and passed away late last year around the holidays which not only crushed me, but kicked me in the ass to just quit and get alcohol out of my life. I need a support system and am hoping to find it here as I cannot and will not do AA. If anyone has any secular advice, I am all ears and look forward to being here while I get this thing licked.
The most important thing for me was first fully accepting that I cannot drink, ever. You mentioned many attempts at moderation, I did the same. I finally realized that not only is moderation not possible, it will never be possible. Hence the need to never pick up a drink in the first place.
I personally use SR as my main support. I do read the big book, dabble in AVRT, and have even sat in on an AA meeting here and there even though I don't work the steps per se.
Bottom line, keep an open mind and use whatever you can to not pick up that first one.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 64
My battle is a tough one as my drinking is tied to my art. It is easy to think that I can just give up music, but I simply cannot do that which is why AA will not work for me. I need to break this Pavlov's Dog type of thinking where any time an activity with music happens, I cannot possibly attend without drinking. I am going back to the books and having now completed 2 whole days without, will keep up the good fight. I have no reason to believe that I won't make it til' Friday, but once the weekend comes and the music is back....we shall see indeed.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
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Welcome back 4mykids 
I was a professional musician - I thought I couldn't give up drinking and lose my career either.
Eventually tho I lost my career. Noone wants a drunk bass player.
I took 18 months off, got myself together and stayed playing again with sober musicians.
That 18 months off was great for me and I recommend it. I grew a lot.
But...if stopping playing is not an option then you need to get real, man.
Musicianship is about music, not drinking
It's tough, but it's possible to stay sober and play music - if you really want to.
I played sober for well over a year before other health issues forced me to retire again.
D
I was a professional musician - I thought I couldn't give up drinking and lose my career either.
Eventually tho I lost my career. Noone wants a drunk bass player.
I took 18 months off, got myself together and stayed playing again with sober musicians.
That 18 months off was great for me and I recommend it. I grew a lot.
But...if stopping playing is not an option then you need to get real, man.
Musicianship is about music, not drinking
It's tough, but it's possible to stay sober and play music - if you really want to.
I played sober for well over a year before other health issues forced me to retire again.
D
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Lost in the midwest
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sorry about your loss. i tried moderating, and in the long run abstinence is much much less work. music isnt about drinking, its about music, unless YOU choose to make it about drinking. best of luck with whatever you decide, but your life is on the line here, may not seem like it YET.... be willing to do whatever it takes to get and stay sober... 4YOURkids, at the very least
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 43
Lots of musician drunks out there. How many times have we fallen off our stools, laughed, and kept playing. As long as we never spilled the drink! I play in two bands now- half the guys are sloshed- the other half on coffee. I'm still working on hanging more with the other half....two points: a) we can play sober (actually play better) and b) bass players always get the chicks!
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 64
I have no Big Plan outside of trying to make 30 days and then re-evaluate... at this point I have not slipped but it is getting harder and not easier. I had a horrible day at work today... took some Magnesium tonight and trying to hydrate and replenish vitamins now. I have also fallen back in love with Jazz, particularly John Coltrane which should give me some focus and maybe even lead me to pick up my instrument. Hoping to get a full night of sleep tonight.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Canada
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Coltrane will get the blood flowing through your brain cells! I find good R & B bands calm my brain and give me peace. Since I quit the sauce, I noticed the tone is warmer, the dynamics are so much better; all aspects of my playing improved a lot. And, the reeds do not taste like stale beer! Musicians are lucky- we can get tremendous release through playing our music, and really do not need alcohol. Hold your horn a tad closer, hang with some more temperate players, and you too will make that transition. All the best, man!
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Join Date: Jan 2014
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welcome.... you can do it.
I'm sorry for the loss of your father. Is his death related to your staunch opposition to AA?
Just wondering... seemed like there's something big there for you. Carrying around the weight of big things is a common struggle for us alcoholics.
oh, also;
29 Musicians Who Won’t Be Drinking On St. Patrick’s Day « WCBS-FM 101.1
I'm sorry for the loss of your father. Is his death related to your staunch opposition to AA?
Just wondering... seemed like there's something big there for you. Carrying around the weight of big things is a common struggle for us alcoholics.
oh, also;
29 Musicians Who Won’t Be Drinking On St. Patrick’s Day « WCBS-FM 101.1
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 64
I have my own reasons for not wanting to use AA but will not share out of respect to the people for whom AA is a life saver. Thanks to everyone for the kind words regarding Dad. It means a lot. I am still going strong but wish this cloudiness would go away so that I could do something productive. Tomorrow is a week.
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