kiki1988

I did some friends a favour. They are good friends but I don't see them very often. They gave me a nice bottle of red to say thanks. It's at home on the counter. I can't stop thinking about it.

Johnston

Pour it down the drain and throw the bottle away.

Teigan5

Is there someone around you who doesn't drink you could ask for them to remove it for you?

Holli

I'm with Johnston on this, but wine is my kryptonite...

Sparkos

Absolutely with Johnston, and do it NOW, immediately. Don't torture nor test yourself. Just get rid. And smash the bottle if you can, for good measure!

marselles

hi there, kiki.

IMHO absolutely, without the shadow of a doubt, 100%, defo, no ifs or buts, unquestionably, disposing of the bottle and its contents is the ONLY good idea here.

if you value your sobriety , do whatever it takes to get rid of it. do not hesitate. although, if you are still shaky with confidence in yourself to do it, confide in someone you trust (preferably a recovered alcoholic) - this will blow out the power that you are allowing the wine hold over you.

if possible, similar to what Teigan5 says, get the person you confide in to accompany you - you may be surprised at your strength when you don't do things alone in life

well done for recognizing the problem, then responding to your thought process by coming to SR and not 'reacting' to your thoughts. GOOD LUCK!

Let us know how you get on please

mecanix

give it to someone .

put it in a dumpster a long way from your house , accidentally breaking it maybe .

give it to the local pastor , church man . "a gift from satan trying to temp me i thought i'd give it to god"

Knock on your neighbours door and say i was given this bottle of wine, i don't drink so wondered if you'd like it ?

I was given drink early in recovery , i gave it away before i got home , i've even put a full bottle in a bottle bank before .

get rid of it sleep easy , not doing something is just prolonging your anxiety , do and be sober , don't just think it .

Bestwishes, m

kiki1988

Thanks guys. They gave it to me first thing this morning and I'm still at work.

Major AV going on "what harm would it be to drink it? who would know?" etc etc

But for all my flaws I'm ridiculously honest, I would end up telling people at AA and I don't want to have to do that.

I'll get rid of it as soon as I go home.


I'm so annoyed that this has tempted me so much. It's really strange because last night I went to a going away party last night and I played a whole bunch of drinking games like beer pong and flip cup but I used coke or water. I had a great time, sang and danced and was getting used to the idea of going out sober and still being able to have a great time.

So the presence of this wine has just thrown me by how much it tempts me, because I thought I was doing ok.

Nonsensical

That was one of the lessons I learned on my last stretch of trying to drink with some constraint. I was only going to drink 1 day a week. On a Sunday I found a bottle I had hidden in my shop. I left it there thinking I'd drink it the next weekend.

I was obsessed with thoughts of that bottle the rest of Sunday and all day Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday after work I dumped it down the sink and it immediately liberated my brain. For a time, anyway.

As long as drinking was a possibility, I was constantly planning my next drunk.

Sparkos

That's the way the AV works. Well certainly mine.

Lull's you into a false sense of security and strikes when your shields aren't set to maximum.

Use this "downtime" from fighting the AV to reinforce your mental strength, because you KNOW, you'll never drink again and you'll never change your mind!

GreenEggsAndHam

My therapists discussed this in rehab and explained why it's so important (especially in early sobriety) to not be in drinking/using situations such as the party you went to. Even if we resist the temptation to drink/use at that moment, our brains have been stimulated by seeing/smelling/etc. the alcohol/drug and it re-kindles the addiction in our brain and festers. I've experienced this many times and try my best to avoid bars, parties, and drinking situations.

I would definitely get rid of the bottle of wine. It's not a "test" that you need to pass or fail. It's simply something you have no use in your life for any longer. Stay strong!

kiki1988

That's interesting, I never thought about it like that.

It's just that I don't have my family here or anything, and when my friends meet, they meet in bars. I'm trying to do alternative things (like I had some girl friends around for dinner and movies over the weekend) but if I completely stop going to bars I basically become a hermit. I'm not exaggerating, there is an insane drinking culture in Dubai, surprising as that might seem.

<rock> me <hard place>

GreenEggsAndHam

Kiki - I never really thought of it that way either. My therapists explained this to our therapy group after I was struggling with obsession that was growing daily and I could not figure out why. Well, 5 days prior to the peak of my urges I found myself in one of my favorite drinking spots directly in the midst of a St. Patrick's Day celebration. I told my husband he could choose where to eat dinner and that's where he chose. I got in there and thought, well whatever, I'll drank sweet tea and felt very proud of myself for not drinking. But, let me tell you, slowly but surely the obsession for a drink grew over the next several days until I could barely take it anymore - and there was no bottle of wine to tempt me, thank goodness! =)

Posting here and talking about it was a great step. I hope you get rid of it.

Tamerua

It's funny you say this. I have a good friend who has slipped twice in the last year and at a meeting this week he had a light bulb moment that they both happened after hanging out with friends at the beach and they were drinking. Talking it out, he said that there was a sense of jealousy that they could have fun.

You know what to do Kiki. Be well.

Johnston

<new friends> options <drink>

kiki1988

It's gone down the trash shoot.

It was genuinely so hard to do.

I text 3 AA people when I got home, but I was kind of hoping they would miss the message and then I could say I had an excuse to drink.

Naturally I got a phone call and two texts within ten minutes.

It's gone and I'm having a big glass of orange juice.


Another little battle won, war is still ongoing.

Lance40

Right on! I'm really proud of you!

Taking5

Good job on throwing it away. Now why not consider telling some of your friends that you have quit drinking, so that the chances of this type of thing happening in the future are minimized.

Nonsensical

That has definitely been my experience, although I could probably hang out in bars and parties all day without a problem. That wasn't my m.o.

Last weekend, however, I had to travel and stay in a hotel room alone. I didn't drink, but this past week my AV has been en fuego! (I used to hole up in a hotel room and let it rip!)

There are some rational recovery purists who profess it doesn't matter what you do, if you've decided not to drink there is no exposure to temptation that can change that. If it's working for them, more power to them. Me, I never saw any reason to point the gun at my head just because I knew I wouldn't pull the trigger.

Yay! kiki!

teetotalitarian

I have a similar problem. I disposed of bottles in my room and just holding them, I had this pavlovian urge to drink. I still have one more unopened bottle in the trunk of my car that I've been carting around for 2 weeks. I don't trust myself to open the trunk, take it out, and pour it out. I don't want to see it or touch it.

I asked a friend to take it off my hands, but my schedule is packed and the stars have not yet aligned for that to happen yet.