Day 40 - a report card
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 476
Day 40 - a report card
Today at around 1:30 PM it will officially be 40 days since my last drink on 02/17/2014.
Here is a brief report card of my experience thus far:
- Worst of the physical symptoms such as hand shakes, fever, pounding heart/high blood pressure, and mild hallucinations seemed to be over around day 11
- My head has cleared up a LOT...... especially over the last week and a half or so, I am able to think and focus better and better each day. Something strange which I've mentioned in another post is my memory really seems to be coming back...... just earlier today I had even more childhood memories cross my mind. These memories seem to "come back to me" just out of nowhere, but I'm not complaining and I take it as a good sign.
- I have said "no" to big pharma aka my doctor's Ambien pre-scription. I first took Ambien on Sunday March 16.... I slept a good 6 hours. Next day I felt mysteriously depressed and sleepy, it seems the sleep quality of the previous night was lousy. Took Ambien again on Monday March 17...... slept around 8 hours. The next day I felt lightheaded, anxiety to the point it felt like I couldn't catch my breath, and just "strange" all around. I skipped the Ambien on Tuesday night in light of these feelings and could not fall asleep at ALL..... went into Weds March 19 wide awake with 0 sleep. Around 7 am took a half-dose of Ambien (5 mg) to see if i could get at least a few hours of sleep... I slept around 3 hours and woke up at 10 am. To my shock, I seemed to have no appetite and experienced diarrhea throughout the day..... I thought to myself "that's it! im done with this crap" and apart from those 2 1/2 pills the little Rx container has been un-touched ever since. I have been getting pretty consistent sleep over the last week and a half just using multiple cups of herbal tea (Chamomile) and a generic OTC sleep pill (doxy succinate)...... i am getting around 5-6 hours of sleep a night, WITHOUT the nasty side effects of the poisonous crap my doctor gave me.
- Around week 3 I started talking a 1 hour walk in a nearby park and have been doing so every other day to help with circulation and health.
- I've learned a tremedous amount regarding this disease starting week 1, i got the "crash course" and then-some...... if you are reading this and thinking about quitting, please please PLEASE read up on this disease first BEFORE you decide to quit, don't do it like i did..... don't do it the other way around. PLEASE consult with someone first before you go off the bottle, and by all means please KEEP drinking until that time...... don't try it on your own, it's NOT a pleasant experience.
- Now that I'm sober and looking back, I've learned that alcohol was just a band-aid and that it really didn't "solve" any of my problems...... the various life problems and "bad feelings" i tried to drown out with booze are STILL there. I've learned that alcohol is no substitute for actually correcting the problems in your life, it just takes your mind off them for a few hours.
- I find that i am really bored now without having booze to fall back on, i never understood just how MUCH i relied on alcohol to "kill time" and "feel better". I'll just be honest, being sober is b.o.r.i.n.g ........ i hope that in time this changes and my brain will "forget" about alcohol and go back to factory default settings, but for the time being i am just really B-O-R-E-D........... even the internet/youtube/social media gets "old" after a while.
- I've tallied up some estimates and i estimate i've saved around $158 simply by not drinking over the last 40 days, its not much but more money in the bank is never a bad thing.
- I'd say the only real symptom remaining is the insomnia, i still cant fall asleep without SOME kind of help...... i hope that this changes over the next few weeks or i will have to look into getting a sleep study or something to get to the bottom of it...... this insomnia thing gets old, i just want my brain to do what it is supposed to do. i think the last time i was able to fall asleep on my own without chemicals, alcohol, or drugs was around 2012.
- regarding PAWS, i haven't noticed any of the symptoms..... at least not yet? as i've said above, i seem to be experiencing just the opposite at the moment, my memory is clearer and clearer every day and i find i can think more clearly. If I do start experiencing PAWS, ill be sure to write about it. I heard that PAWS is really only for "long term" drinkers like 15-20+ year alcoholics, but i cant confirm that. i certainly HOPE it's true considering i was only at it for a few years compared to these "long term drinker" folk.
that's just some updates on my sobriety so far, i will be posting another update on day 60 and day 90
Here is a brief report card of my experience thus far:
- Worst of the physical symptoms such as hand shakes, fever, pounding heart/high blood pressure, and mild hallucinations seemed to be over around day 11
- My head has cleared up a LOT...... especially over the last week and a half or so, I am able to think and focus better and better each day. Something strange which I've mentioned in another post is my memory really seems to be coming back...... just earlier today I had even more childhood memories cross my mind. These memories seem to "come back to me" just out of nowhere, but I'm not complaining and I take it as a good sign.
- I have said "no" to big pharma aka my doctor's Ambien pre-scription. I first took Ambien on Sunday March 16.... I slept a good 6 hours. Next day I felt mysteriously depressed and sleepy, it seems the sleep quality of the previous night was lousy. Took Ambien again on Monday March 17...... slept around 8 hours. The next day I felt lightheaded, anxiety to the point it felt like I couldn't catch my breath, and just "strange" all around. I skipped the Ambien on Tuesday night in light of these feelings and could not fall asleep at ALL..... went into Weds March 19 wide awake with 0 sleep. Around 7 am took a half-dose of Ambien (5 mg) to see if i could get at least a few hours of sleep... I slept around 3 hours and woke up at 10 am. To my shock, I seemed to have no appetite and experienced diarrhea throughout the day..... I thought to myself "that's it! im done with this crap" and apart from those 2 1/2 pills the little Rx container has been un-touched ever since. I have been getting pretty consistent sleep over the last week and a half just using multiple cups of herbal tea (Chamomile) and a generic OTC sleep pill (doxy succinate)...... i am getting around 5-6 hours of sleep a night, WITHOUT the nasty side effects of the poisonous crap my doctor gave me.
- Around week 3 I started talking a 1 hour walk in a nearby park and have been doing so every other day to help with circulation and health.
- I've learned a tremedous amount regarding this disease starting week 1, i got the "crash course" and then-some...... if you are reading this and thinking about quitting, please please PLEASE read up on this disease first BEFORE you decide to quit, don't do it like i did..... don't do it the other way around. PLEASE consult with someone first before you go off the bottle, and by all means please KEEP drinking until that time...... don't try it on your own, it's NOT a pleasant experience.
- Now that I'm sober and looking back, I've learned that alcohol was just a band-aid and that it really didn't "solve" any of my problems...... the various life problems and "bad feelings" i tried to drown out with booze are STILL there. I've learned that alcohol is no substitute for actually correcting the problems in your life, it just takes your mind off them for a few hours.
- I find that i am really bored now without having booze to fall back on, i never understood just how MUCH i relied on alcohol to "kill time" and "feel better". I'll just be honest, being sober is b.o.r.i.n.g ........ i hope that in time this changes and my brain will "forget" about alcohol and go back to factory default settings, but for the time being i am just really B-O-R-E-D........... even the internet/youtube/social media gets "old" after a while.
- I've tallied up some estimates and i estimate i've saved around $158 simply by not drinking over the last 40 days, its not much but more money in the bank is never a bad thing.
- I'd say the only real symptom remaining is the insomnia, i still cant fall asleep without SOME kind of help...... i hope that this changes over the next few weeks or i will have to look into getting a sleep study or something to get to the bottom of it...... this insomnia thing gets old, i just want my brain to do what it is supposed to do. i think the last time i was able to fall asleep on my own without chemicals, alcohol, or drugs was around 2012.
- regarding PAWS, i haven't noticed any of the symptoms..... at least not yet? as i've said above, i seem to be experiencing just the opposite at the moment, my memory is clearer and clearer every day and i find i can think more clearly. If I do start experiencing PAWS, ill be sure to write about it. I heard that PAWS is really only for "long term" drinkers like 15-20+ year alcoholics, but i cant confirm that. i certainly HOPE it's true considering i was only at it for a few years compared to these "long term drinker" folk.
that's just some updates on my sobriety so far, i will be posting another update on day 60 and day 90
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
Hi Grubby. Thank you for sharing what you've been through. I particularly appreciate your warning about seeking advice before quitting abruptly.
40 days is wonderful - but it's still early days yet. Please don't be discouraged by the boredom you're feeling as you adjust to your new normal. I was restless for awhile too - even though I was grateful to be alive and sober. Things will continue to get better as you heal.
40 days is wonderful - but it's still early days yet. Please don't be discouraged by the boredom you're feeling as you adjust to your new normal. I was restless for awhile too - even though I was grateful to be alive and sober. Things will continue to get better as you heal.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 476
That's how it goes, we didn't "respect" this substance and it came back to bite us. The ancient words of wisdom "everything in moderation" seem so simple, but with some things...... like alcohol ...... it seems easier said than done.
like i said before, it sucks that some scientist somewhere has yet to figure this addiction stuff out and bring forth a solution to those of us down here in "the masses"........ whoever in the future manages to somehow create/invent, say, an "alcohol mimicer" that has no side effects and is safe to consume in large quantities will likely become a billionaire over-night
like i said before, it sucks that some scientist somewhere has yet to figure this addiction stuff out and bring forth a solution to those of us down here in "the masses"........ whoever in the future manages to somehow create/invent, say, an "alcohol mimicer" that has no side effects and is safe to consume in large quantities will likely become a billionaire over-night
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Great post!
I'm with you on the insomnia thing and I'm having PAWS symptoms. It's not horrible and getting better day by day. I wasn't a 15-20 year drinker either although my use was heavy. Hopefully, you'll dodge that bullet.
I'm with you on the insomnia thing and I'm having PAWS symptoms. It's not horrible and getting better day by day. I wasn't a 15-20 year drinker either although my use was heavy. Hopefully, you'll dodge that bullet.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 476
Originally Posted by Aarryckha 
Great post!
I'm with you on the insomnia thing and I'm having PAWS symptoms. It's not horrible and getting better day by day. I wasn't a 15-20 year drinker either although my use was heavy. Hopefully, you'll dodge that bullet.
I'm with you on the insomnia thing and I'm having PAWS symptoms. It's not horrible and getting better day by day. I wasn't a 15-20 year drinker either although my use was heavy. Hopefully, you'll dodge that bullet.
i Googled the symptoms and i haven't noticed much myself, i am thinking clearly and have no cognitive dysfunction...... yet? Reason I am asking what kind of symptoms is just so i can know what to expect should i develop that kind of thing in the next few weeks.
Pretty much the only thing still lingering is the insomnia........ but i was expecting that and judging by other people's recovery accounts and tales on here it seems the insomnia continues for a few months. Then again i've read posts on here from people who claim their insomnia went away after like 2 weeks so i think it depends and varies from person to person.
As for me, i AM carrying a little extra weight (i am about 20% bodyfat) so im sure that comes into play somewhat...... but i remember falling asleep some-what normally as early as 1 year ago around this time, so im fairly certain most of my current insomnia issues are directly related to my recent quitting of alcohol.
stupid stubborn human brain seems to take a loooooooooong time to go back to "factory default settings"....... ugh
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Definite mood swings, lack of concentration, inability to think clearly, problems with memory, dizziness and a feeling of being "disembodied."
Things are improving though so I'm just going to ride it out.
Things are improving though so I'm just going to ride it out.
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