Mellybug

Today I was talking with my coworker and friend...and the conversation turned to something that reminded me of a happier time with my XABF. I actually said to her, "That reminds me of a happier time with XABF, and that makes me feel a bit sad. But those times were a LONG time ago, and things haven't been that happy in a very long time." Then I moved the conversation on to something completely different and was laughing again.

It felt like I stopped for a second, acknowledged it, and moved on. Previously I think that would have knocked my mood out for hours...and I probably would have cried. As of this writing (probably 3 hours later) I can't even remember what it was!

I'm so happy to have found this site...it's helped me so much.

honeypig

Good going, Melly--sounds like you're learning fast about how to deal w/things. As you said, you paused a moment, acknowledged that the long-ago good time was a good time, and then moved on to acknowledging that that is not the present reality and hasn't been for quite a while. Sounds pretty darn healthy to me.

It has been said on here that just b/c something doesn't last forever, doesn't mean it wasn't real. It's also been said that just b/c we love someone, that doesn't mean we get to keep them forever. I think both of those thoughts apply here.

Again, great progress in not getting drawn into the downward suction of old memories and "if only"...