Malicious

Today is day 4 of my recovery from about 120mg of Percocet a day and some Xanax when I could. This isn't my first rodeo but this is the one where I have everything to lose. Recently I split from my fiancé I'm only 22 but I know this girl could be the one, well I thought things have been rough between us over the last few months with us fighting and my drug use. She has stuck by my side thru it all but now I feel as tho she can't handle it anymore and wants to be more independent. We have been thru a lot from losing an unborn child, car accidents, drug use and opposition from our families about our relationship. But I'm determined to save this relationship because in the end she's the only woman who's ever brought me peace in my darkest hours. Today is day 4 of my recovery and I'm on about 2mg of subs a day I try and take very small doses. People say by day 4 you feel a little better but with all the stress and fighting I can't seem to focus on the beauty of what I'm doing. It's like I have this huge not in my stomach on top of the withdrawals because I don't know if the one girl I love still loves me and wants me back. We still talk but sometimes she's ferocious and wants her space and privacy and it's been so hard to go from knowing everything in her life to almost nothing. My nerves are on edge, my stomachs in a knot but I'm gonna do this for myself and her and finally give myself a life. There's a lot more I would like to say but I'm at work so that's my story any advice is welcomed

Matt

Anna

Good for you for getting to Day 4!

My advice is for you to focus on your recovery. It's going to take a lot of energy. If the relationship is meant to be, it will be.

Malicious

I'm trying it's just these last 2 weeks have been some of the hardest times I've faced yet

resolute50

Welcome to SR,

Use this site as a tool to help.
There's a lot of good folks here that have kicked and are in the middle of kicking some very bad addictions.
Lots of wise advice.
Come here and chat,it helps a lot.

Malicious

Thanks resolute I've been browsing the site for awhile in terms of what to do but this is the first time I just felt so alone I needed to reach out and tell my story

Dee74

Welcome Malicious - thanks for sharing your story - I'm sorry for all the bad stuff you've been through.

I really believe tho that there's no bad situation getting wasted won't make worse. Be proud of your sober time and have faith you're doing the right thing

If things get tough there's always someone here to help

D

Malicious

Thank you that's why I joined this site I feel as tho I lost my rock and now I gotta form a new one

Malicious

I'm also gonna be going on a trip all exspenses paid by her grandmother to Miami I'm excited and nervous at the same time I'm hoping this will be what we need to rekindle the flame and also help me soak up some sun and enjoy being sober and withdraw free