neveragain84

Hi,

I have been struggling with addiction to drugs and alcohol for the better part of 10 years. I now realize that after years of battling I simply cannot drink or use again ever. I just came off a major binge that almost cost me everything. I went to AA for about 6-7months back in 2011-2012 and then figured I could go back to casual drinking/use and I was fine for a bit until I hit the binges then everything that mattered to be suddenly became nothing. I know I will not survive unless I completely quit right here right now forever. Please help I am really struggling.

Thanks for your time,

Climber122

Sorry you're struggling - if you now know you can't drink or use again, and AA worked for you for a while, why not go back? On our own we tend to find reasons to go out/drink again. That's the baffling part of addiction right? If you are really ready to quit, and it sounds like you are motivated to, I would reach out and get help - today. This website is good but human contact is better. Just like an infant literally needs human contact to develop properly, we addicts and alcoholics need other people, sober people to guide us in sobriety. I'm sure there are a ton of meetings in big TO - hope you find one, or if not AA some type of group support. That's truly taking a step in the direction of sobriety.

neveragain84

I'm actually in a smaller town north of TO. Thanks for the quick reply.

neveragain84

Is anyone here? I will be going to live meetings again but want to make some friends on here as well

simplenoteasy

Hi NA, I can only say I feel your pain. I am in the same boat. Alcohol was my drug of choice. My most recent binge ended on Monday. Very bad, unpredictable things happen to me when I drink. So, I have to stop too. Be strong and maybe we can get through this. I've read many successes on here. Most have a solid plan of recovery. Thats something I need to work on this weekend.

neveragain84

Hi SNE,, ok let's do it. I had a brief taste of sobriety and wish I kept going as I was doing well I would give anything to return to march 2012 and reverse my choice to grab those heneiken tall boys

least

Welcome to the SR family. I agree that going back to meetings could be a valuable resource to your sobriety. I got sober with the help of an addiction counselor and daily visits to this site.

I hope the support you find here can help you stay sober for good.

neveragain84

Thanks I need to keep active and keep this front of mind every single day. I have a decent job, nice apartment, car and I want to keep those things but the only way I do that is by staying sober.

Hevyn

Welcome neveragain! You found a great place for support & understanding.

I'm glad you realize you need to stop. It took me 30 yrs. to stop playing with it and admit I could never touch it again. A few sips and we're off on a crazy ride, never knowing where it will end. I wasted so much time trying to manage the amounts I drank. In the end I was drinking 24/7 & always miserable. When I joined SR I found the courage to quit. You can do it.

neveragain84

I have been in my apartment since Tuesday night getting 8balls dropped off and drinking. I feel so low.

simplenoteasy

If you're still drinking then I can understand you feeling low. If I was drinking I would more than likely end up in the hospital.
Hevyn, I can relate to what you say. Its been a 30 year ride for me.

neveragain84

I stopped drinking threw away cigarettes, pot and dumped any alcohol down the sink today when I got up.

simplenoteasy

Good job! You know I truly believe anyone can quit. There are millions. But like I said it seems like most have a plan which unfortunately for me I dont have yet. I havent thought of an addiction councilor. AA doesnt seem to work for me. I'm not knocking it. Anyway, it gets better if we dont use.

Dee74

Hi and welcome neveragain

If AA helped before are you planning on going back, or are you looking for other solutions now?

D

neveragain84

Aa and ca meetings,., I have to admit the thought of never being able to have a beer is really scaring me right now