He showed up in my bathtub!
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
He showed up in my bathtub!
So...this morning I hear somethign at 6:30 am so I get up to see what it is. I go into my bathroom right off my bedroom and low and behold, XAH is in there taking a bath! Mind you, we just hammered out a divorce agreement and all of that. It is clear he is moved out not to return.
After that, he gets dressed and comes downstairs. I am in the kitchen and am livid. Kids still in bed. He then tries to hug me and says he misses me so much and misses being w/me physically also. HOLY CRAP, he wanted a booty call! OMG. I told him no way are we being "friends w/benefits," that we are divorcing and I am not interested. He then tells me he is certain I am having an affair or at least am rushing our divorce for someone else. Really??? OMG, there is no one else, I don't even like men anymore (except our wonderful SR boys on here....don't take this personal guys)!
So he moaps around and then it's time to take older DD to school. He peeks in the bathroom, grabs my A$$, and says bye.
Holy Smokes am I so pi$$ed! What is he thinking!? I did not want to freak in front of my kids (and he knows this), so I said we would discuss later and not to do this again. I will be telling him if he cannot just come in and wait in the living room for DD before school I am changing the locks. Wow.
What a lunatic. I so cannot wait to file and be done with all of this! This crazy life is stressful but I know it will be worth it in the end!
Thanks for listening to me ramble!
After that, he gets dressed and comes downstairs. I am in the kitchen and am livid. Kids still in bed. He then tries to hug me and says he misses me so much and misses being w/me physically also. HOLY CRAP, he wanted a booty call! OMG. I told him no way are we being "friends w/benefits," that we are divorcing and I am not interested. He then tells me he is certain I am having an affair or at least am rushing our divorce for someone else. Really??? OMG, there is no one else, I don't even like men anymore (except our wonderful SR boys on here....don't take this personal guys)!
So he moaps around and then it's time to take older DD to school. He peeks in the bathroom, grabs my A$$, and says bye.
Holy Smokes am I so pi$$ed! What is he thinking!? I did not want to freak in front of my kids (and he knows this), so I said we would discuss later and not to do this again. I will be telling him if he cannot just come in and wait in the living room for DD before school I am changing the locks. Wow.
What a lunatic. I so cannot wait to file and be done with all of this! This crazy life is stressful but I know it will be worth it in the end!
Thanks for listening to me ramble!
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
I think I would just change the locks... There is no reason for him to be coming in like he still lives there... It invites trouble from him and gives him an opening to act just as he did...
A normal person would NOT act that way and you are not responsible for his inability to accept boundaries but it is pretty clear he CANT accept boundaries and I doubt he will start doing so.
Easiest and least stressful action? Change the locks...
A normal person would NOT act that way and you are not responsible for his inability to accept boundaries but it is pretty clear he CANT accept boundaries and I doubt he will start doing so.
Easiest and least stressful action? Change the locks...
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Wow! I would change the locks and put anything he needs from the house in the garage or in storage. I can totally see my AH doing something like this. I see it as a twisted desperate attempt to get us to come around to their wiles and charm. Like grabbing your a** is charming, right? UGH!
Last year, my AH was frustrated with our situation and with my recovery so he chose to grab my rear and whisper in my ear, "I know you don't like me doing this, but I realized I can go ahead and do it anyway." He continued to grab, rub, etc through the day. After confronting him with this months later, he told me, "Well, it didn't work, did it, so I stopped." I realized then that he truly thought those kinds of actions would turn me on or make me want to sleep with him. In the end, I saw it as sexual harassment and found it completely immature and degrading to me.
As others have said, your AH has issues with boundaries. Hugs to you as you go through this. I know I'd be livid and have to work very hard to not freak out, LOL.
Last year, my AH was frustrated with our situation and with my recovery so he chose to grab my rear and whisper in my ear, "I know you don't like me doing this, but I realized I can go ahead and do it anyway." He continued to grab, rub, etc through the day. After confronting him with this months later, he told me, "Well, it didn't work, did it, so I stopped." I realized then that he truly thought those kinds of actions would turn me on or make me want to sleep with him. In the end, I saw it as sexual harassment and found it completely immature and degrading to me.
As others have said, your AH has issues with boundaries. Hugs to you as you go through this. I know I'd be livid and have to work very hard to not freak out, LOL.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
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A normal person would NOT act that way and you are not responsible for his inability to accept boundaries but it is pretty clear he CANT accept boundaries and I doubt he will start doing so.
Easiest and least stressful action? Change the locks...
Easiest and least stressful action? Change the locks...
Locksmith. Pronto.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I know right! I am having the locks changed. I told him if he wants to see little DD in the morning he can knock like a regular person. What a nut! He truly has no boundaries and I agree, no respect for me. Good grief. What a day.
Hope you all have a good and peaceful weekend!
Hope you all have a good and peaceful weekend!
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 976
Originally Posted by Fandy 
perhaps dropping some electric appliance (hair dryer, curling iron, toaster) running full force in the bath water would deter this type of behavior?
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
she's from Jersey, it's what they do!!!
hopeful, that is just down right creepy. so not only does he invade your space while you are sleeping (ewwwww), gets nekked and takes a bath also while you are sleeping (ick) and then wants a booty call?
hopeful, that is just down right creepy. so not only does he invade your space while you are sleeping (ewwwww), gets nekked and takes a bath also while you are sleeping (ick) and then wants a booty call?
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Wow!! And he is using yours kids to keep you hostage. I know it would have been hard to call the police with the girls home and he knew it too.
Be careful, his behavior is continuing to become more bizarre.
Sorry, you had to start your day like this.
Be careful, his behavior is continuing to become more bizarre.
Sorry, you had to start your day like this.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
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I think it's bizarre too. And agree with Anvil....EWWW....and best yet with Fandy! If it happens again the hair dryer is going in, that should keep him out! (Just kidding)! I am going to change the locks, it is just downright weird and I am not going to have it. He can knock at the door and come in when and if I decide to let him in.
Good Grief.
Good Grief.
What a way to start your day! Definitely qualifies as creepy...
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: South Central USA
Posts: 1,478
Not only change the locks, but seek legal advice on how to handle him. Won't that be considered breaking and entering at some point if not already?? What nerve! Take care if yourself..sounds like he's living in wonderland.
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,582
Hi
OMG! He is psycho. I would feel sorry for him, except that this situation is his own making.
Please tell your lawyer about this. If you guys are separated, he has no right to come in like that. I know you want to be nice and not poke the tiger, but this man is going to push you until you push back. You can ask your lawyer to keep notes on his erratic behavior, just in case. Do nothing now, except document in detail with your lawyer. There are so many scenarios we never think will happen to us until they do, and this event needs to be recorded to show a pattern of unstable behavior if anything else occurs.
If you change the locks, will he continue to pay the mortgage, if his name is on it?
OMG! He is psycho. I would feel sorry for him, except that this situation is his own making.
Please tell your lawyer about this. If you guys are separated, he has no right to come in like that. I know you want to be nice and not poke the tiger, but this man is going to push you until you push back. You can ask your lawyer to keep notes on his erratic behavior, just in case. Do nothing now, except document in detail with your lawyer. There are so many scenarios we never think will happen to us until they do, and this event needs to be recorded to show a pattern of unstable behavior if anything else occurs.
If you change the locks, will he continue to pay the mortgage, if his name is on it?
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Join Date: Dec 2008
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Ewwwww....and by the way....ewwwww!!!!!
I'm not sure what my response would have been to be honest. Probably either call the police on 'bathing beauty' or slapped him when he grabbed me. OK, so I'm not actually encouraging option number 2....still.....ewwwww!!!!
I'm not sure what my response would have been to be honest. Probably either call the police on 'bathing beauty' or slapped him when he grabbed me. OK, so I'm not actually encouraging option number 2....still.....ewwwww!!!!
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
My response would be very simple.
Safety off. Point. Squeeze.
When someone is removed from the house and no longer lives there, they are considered trespassing and in the beautiful state of PA, I have a right to bust a cap in their ass with my 9... ex husband or not... YOU STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!
I don't care who ya are. Uninvited guest get exterminated. Don't walk in my house. Period.
Safety off. Point. Squeeze.
When someone is removed from the house and no longer lives there, they are considered trespassing and in the beautiful state of PA, I have a right to bust a cap in their ass with my 9... ex husband or not... YOU STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!
I don't care who ya are. Uninvited guest get exterminated. Don't walk in my house. Period.
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