slhh

Untill about 4 days ago I had no idea I was actually physically dependent

I'm 47yr old female. About 2 years ago after meeting my now husband, we were going down to the local bar to hang out with friends about twice a week. About a year ago I started having drinks at home in the evening. Reason? No idea, would have drinks and visit with the hubby. believe it or not I'd get a little tipsie to loosen inhibitions for "hot sex" at night. As of about 4 months ago was drinking almost every night getting tipsie. Usually started with dinner or as I was cooking dinner. By a few weeks ago I was drinking to the point where when I went to bed I'd passout.

I've never drank during the day. Never felt like I needed a drink. I just did it = because I could (sounds crazy)

4 days ago (Monday) when we got up my husband told me of yet another night of me doing something I didn't remember.

that day during my hangover I started thinking "this is crazy" I'm getting plastered every night and is becoming an issue if I'm being a butt to my husband and don't remember it. that night while we were eating I told him the same thing and that I needed to lay off the alcohol.

So, Monday I didn't drink anything. On Tuesday the next day I still felt a hangover but it actually felt worse. I was shaking and decided to pop on the internet to research how long a hangover can last. Unfortunately the more I read the more I realized I didn't feel like poopoo due to a hangover but rather withdrawels.

I was like "oh hell no!" All that day I had the shakes and it got worse and worse. I read drinking a beer would help enough with the shakes but not get you drunk so I drank one and low and behold I felt better. So this confirmed I was having withdrawels.

When My husband come home that night I told him what was happening. That I was in withdrawel. He was very supportive and told me we were a team and would get through it.

Wednesday I was really bad. All the typical withdrawel symptoms I read on the internet. Didn't sleep at all Wednesday. Thursday we had plans with the grandkids. I felt better but still shaky. That was yesterday.

Today I'm way way better. Slept last night but not solid, kept waking up all night. Shakes are almost completely gone. Not sure why I have bloodshot eyes (maybe lack of sleep) So I'm assuming the worse is over for me. During all this week of going through the withdrawels, not once did I want or consider drinking.

Now, Was I a full blown "alcoholic" or someone just being stupid and got their body hooked. (and obviously since I had an issue need to not be stupid in the future)

Anna

It's just a word, a label, so don't get stuck on the word.

Is alcohol causing problems in your life? If not, that's fine. If it is, then you might want to stop drinking for good. Blacking out is a sign of alcoholism, by the way.

Hope4Life

First off I have to say, Good for you to recognize these signs and stop getting drunk every night. Most people would just continue down the road into full blown alcoholism.

You have nipped it in the bud and seen, 1st hand, what the future holds for you if you keep drinking. I agree 100% with Anna, there is no need to label yourself. You have seen what can happen to you, so stopping now is going to eliminate the possibility of future problems.

Your husband sounds like a great man who is willing to work with you to get past this. Please realize that alcoholism is a progressive disease and it sounds like you were starting down that path rather rapidly. I applaud your ability to realize what was happening before it became a major problem.

FeelingGreat

Hi slhh, everyone's different I suppose. I drank a bottle of wine a night, every night, but when I stopped I had no physical withdrawals, although I did crave alcohol. I may have had momentary blackouts, but nothing major.
You had physical withdrawal, and blackouts, but you don't mention cravings. I hope you've seen the last of your symptoms, but keep in mind there may be cravings further along and be ready for them. You might get to a point where you think it'll be ok to start drinking moderately, but it rarely works for long. Most alcoholics can never partially give up. I'm not saying you're one, but bear it in mind. Congratulations on your decisive action to stop drinking, it was a wise decision.

Nonsensical

Welcome to SR!

Does the answer to this question determine your plan going forward?

slhh

No, It wasn't causing any issues, especially since I only drank at night. And no...no craving whatsoever. But I didn't crave drinks before I realized I'd become dependent either.

And yes, Paul it does lol Don't be stupid again! I'm a little brighter than that :-)

I guess I can just call it for what it is and say I didn't realize I had become physically dependent on it, but did and make sure that never happens again.

I'm not gonna be silly and say "i'll never drink again". But it's probably be a good idea to wait a few months before having one.
My hubby and I enjoy going out for drinks and dancing about once a month. Just need to make sure that when I do drink again I keep it where it needs to be which was just periodic social drinking remembering this situation.

I just ate breakfast and my shakes are about 99% gone. The rest of me feels fine. I was worried since I'd read about all these nasty withdrawels that lasted for awhile. Guess I got lucky.

Thanks everyone!

doggonecarl

Your question about being an alcoholic will be answered when (and if) you attempt to resume normal drinking. Maybe it will work. For your sake, I hope so.

What is usually the case, (and I base this on being a member of SR for over three years and seeing it happen more times than I can count) the drinker, having been sober for a couple months, decides they don't have a problem, resumes drinking, and it quickly escalates to prior levels. That's if they come back to SR to tell us.

I can only speculate on the ones who resume drinking and don't come back. Maybe their fate will be the same as mine. I quit for a few months in 1997. Figured I was cool, and resumed drinking...for 13 more years. And it kicked my butt. When I found Sober Recovery, I didn't need to ask an anonymous forum if I was an alcoholic.

Good luck with your path forward.

KateL

Welcome xxxx

Hevyn

Glad you found us - welcome to SR slhh.

FreeOwl

I'd say it matters less what you may or may not have been in terms of a label than what you saw happening to you and what you'd prefer.

In your story there are a lot of characteristics that are familiar to me and to all of us who have struggled with addiction.

It may be that you were just 'in a phase'... 'not full blown'.... or any other of a number of terms.

Or, it may be that you have recognized a pattern that is indicative of something that is likely to only get worse over time if you should continue.

So, the question is not 'what you were'... it's what and who you'd like to be.

Is alcohol important enough to you to risk it?

Good for you in recognizing the pattern and taking action. And welcome.

slhh

Update! I was on a stop smoking forum once for nearly 3 years. the pattern I found with people was they either went away cause they got the help they needed and moved on or stayed to strengthen their own quit by helping others with their struggles.

Was thinking about it today and thought I'd post an update. didn't drink anymore until about 4 or 5 nights ago. Hubby and I went out to mexican and had margaritas with our food. No drinks since then and not an issue. Feels good to wake up energized every day and feel myself again.

Soooooo, My answer to my own question was I was smart enough to recognize a problem starting and nipped it in the bud. Dang I knew I had a brain in there somewhere! lol.

Anyhow, thanks for responses. I suppose I paniced as soon as I realized I was having withdrawals not just hangovers. And it felt really nasty! I REALLY feel for those who have struggled for years rather than a month or so. I struggled with cigarettes all my life. Should have known I was prone to addiction. Whelp.....redecorating my home so I'll go. (sober and without hangover! lol)

LBrain

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Does this mean you determined you can "control" your drinking?

ontherightpath

Drinking without major consequence doesn't mean your exempt from addiction. I do hope you can find your right path, but it's not necessary to convince us that you're ok. We all have drinking problems and issues, we get it. Good luck on your journey.

Andante

That's awesome, slhh! Sounds like you've got it figured out, all right.

Just one request, if you would. Please come back to this site after a few months and let us know how you're doing. How much you're drinking, how you're feeling about it, etc.

I know I'm not the only one who would be keenly interested to hear more about your progress!

Thanks in advance for honoring this small request.

flutter

Whew! We're here if you need us.

ReadyAtLast

I quit many times for a month or so. Surely if I could do that I didn't have a problem. Surely? The next time I drank was just a few, controlled drinks yeah I could do it.

Till the next blackout. It's not a case of figuring out there is a problem and then 'curing' it. The only cure for those with a drink problem is quitting. A period of abstinence does not mean control. If you have to think about controlling your drinking then alcohol is already controlling you