ForestRunner

have jobs where you have to deal with a lot of dark stuff? For example, my job requires me to read a lot of police reports about child sexual abuse. I struggle with, I don't know what to call it other than existentialism. I am a well- educated person-I'm a lawyer. So this is my job, day-to-day. I am not sure how much it contributes to my desire to obliviate after work, but I want to understand how I can do this work and keep it separate from my home life.

GroundhogDay

My first job was like that. I felt good about my role in the fight against evil, but it did make me an awfully serious person who was not a lot of fun to be around.

There came a point when I had had enough, and now I get to enjoy the beauty the world has to offer. The only advice I have is don't do it your entire career.

I'm not sure about how much of a trigger it was for me. I drank sometimes, but not always. I didn't feel that I was overdoing it at that time in my life.

SoberLeigh

That is a very difficult day-to-day "reality" for you, ForestRunner. I cannot imagine; it is difficult just to know that things such as that exist, let alone see the names, faces, details.

Is this something that you will have to do, long-term, in your career?

Ruby2

Well, good question. And one I have no ready suggestion for. I'm a lawyer too and read police reports every day for work but it is all misdemeanor stuff and doesn't tend to get as dark as what you are reading. I don't take a lot of it home, mentally, because most of it is victimless crime impacting quality of life. Public intoxication, disorderly conduct, etc. Some of it I can laugh at because it is so very absurd. It gets to me when I look around a courtroom and see the same defendants so frequently it's like clockwork. And really young adults who are starting off with multiple felonies in their backgrounds and no jobs and absolutely no desire to even get a job but to sponge off mom forever, inflicting pain and injecting chaos into society wherever they go. I've been pondering the sight lately of an entire indolent generation who see nothing wrong with their behavior and that is getting me down. However, I don't imagine there is anything to laugh at with child sexual abuse cases. No absurdities to laugh at. None at all. There are some truly evil people out there who inflict great pain on others. It has to be incredibly difficult to read through it all. I guess think about what brings joy to you. Fully know and understand that what you do is vitally important. I don't know what cog you are in the wheels of justice - prosecutor, advocate, defense attorney, judge - but these functions all need to be done to protect someone's rights and safety. Numbing the pain with alcohol is only a temporary fix. Since it is a depressant it brings you down more. I know a lot of lawyers in the program. It gets to you after a while. Maybe a group of co-workers to meet once a week to blow off steam? They are the ones who will best understand the thoughts, issues and feelings. Any national groups who might have a website? Exercise? Long walks? I understand even if I don't face the same thing and am writing to support you.

360shoes

Hi ForestRunner,
I don't have the experience but what sticks out to me is you said you struggle with it. Some people may not, some may. To me there is no right or wrong, it's just it bothers you in some way. So I say go talk to someone who helps people with this.

My brother is in law enforcement and was in the service in Iraq and Kosovo. Seen plenty of his share of not so nice things. He isn't an addict, is as normal as anyone but he went and used services available to help him when he felt he needed it.

That's actually pretty healthy to know when you need to take care of yourself and you do.

I don't know. I hope you find something to help you. We all need help sometimes.

Dee74

Hi FR. I think balance is very important - you need time off to balance the time you work....we all do.

I think you also need to try and find ways to not take your work home with you.

It may not be the same, but I deal with a lot of heavy stuff here.

I try and stay grounded...I try to remember there are other parts of my life and above all I must never forget my job is to help, but not became part of the narrative...that would be no good to the people I'm helping and not good for me either.

D

KateL

I used to work for social services, but had to retire early due to ill health. I'm glad in a a way because it was quite glum. But having said that, it's good to be able to help with all that awful stuff and I am glad I did for a while. xxxx

nigey1

Yes. It certainly gets difficult. I managed to move to a role with less of that stuff.

Problem was I only hung out with other co workers who could understand it and who also drowned their sorrows.

When I quit drinking I had to make big changes. I believe if I hadn't I would've ended up as a statistic.

The good news is I find that dark stuff a lot easier to deal with after a good period of sobriety because I am a lot more stable and on my game.

Good luck

MythOfSisyphus

I don't deal with 'dark' stuff at work but there's plenty of in life. Years ago I worked for awhile in collections- that was dark stuff. Lots of negative energy. It can be hard to deal with a job that's overwhelmingly negative and not let it bleed over into your "real life".

LBrain

Wow forest, that's a tough one. I came across quite a few cops and first responder types that march through rehab on a continuing basis. Seems NYC has an agreement/contract to ship them out of town to get 'better'. I can only imagine what they go through.
I do know that many nurses experience that same sort of anguish seeing what they see day after day. In fact they are rotated to alleviate the constant trauma or so as to not get familiar with certain patients.

For you having to deal with it - it sucks to have a conscience sometimes - perhaps get some counseling or other support. I'm sure it can burn you out. Sometimes it's difficult to separate facts from feelings. Do the best you can. I feel for you.

ForestRunner

Once again, thanks all. I am going to try to find a good therapist to help me get it out of my system from time to time...

Aellyce

I'm a research biologist and now do psychiatry research as a job, a lot of it is about drug abuse and addiction. I got into this field several years ago. Sometimes I question whether it was a good idea for me, but I do enjoy it for the most part. I see quite a lot of us in this profession who chose it because they wanted to understand the issues that troubled them or close friends and relatives.

littlefish

I don't go through anything dark, but incessant whining, petty disputes and chronic complaining. Oh, and backstabbing and gossip! Gah!

I find that it really helps to have my recovery program in place. When I am getting ready to go into a meeting where two employees will be tearing into each other and the mud will be slung, I read some passages about making peace, finding connections, healing, and I try to always keep in mind how to do good if and when I can.
Maybe if you see yourself as an instrument for helping the children it will give you some solace.

Holli

Hi ForestRunner, I hope you can find some peace with your job, or find a new job that suits you better. You only have one life, so find a job you love.

Holli

Oh, you must work in an office! Lol, me, too!