Chris45NYC

I laid down the law tuesday night that I was no longer going to bars with him and if I ran into him in the bar I go to every weekend I told him "no more rounds in either direction" meaning don't buy me shots, i don't want any from you...and I'm not buying you any. I can't keep you from going into bars but I don't have to compromise my comfort zone by watching you spend money and time on booze when you can be using that time to seek help."

Since tuesday and his rant (He even compared me to Jim Jones) he has been surprisingly nice. He's spending the weekend at his family's house which is encouraging because I know his brother won't tolerate what he's doing one bit. I'm optomistic right now, so I'm just trying to learn here from other people's experience..I know I don't have all..hell I don't have nearly any of the facts i need to know, hence why I'm here. I want to gather resources to help my friend from every aspect so I'm well prepared when the sh*t hits the fan.

Again to my previous message, thank you everyone for your encouragement. It has helped, and I am grateful. - Chris

sojourner

Hello Chris:

Welcome to SR. I am sure others will be along to help you with their ESH (experience, strength, hope). My advice for you is to learn the cycle of behavior that goes with addiction. Your friend's niceness is probably a predictable phase of that cycle. I am assuming that he has a growing addiction going on. Your friend is not really aware of how drugs/alcohol are driving his moods right now.

Anyway, his "niceness" will pass. Be prepared. Keep coming back here. Your friend did not get that way overnight, and the solution will not happen all that quickly either.