Angeleyes001

We have tried for a full year, since he has been out of the house, to come to an agreement as to terms for a divorce. He agreed before he ever moved out to not drink when our minor child (she is 9) is with him. Nine months after the move out, when he had his first overnight with her and I reminded him of his agreement to not drink, his response was "F**k you, I will do whatever I want". We agreed that I would stay on the medical/dental/vision insurance coverage through his work until our divorce was complete, but yet he removed me from the dental/vision portions without telling me. Last week, I had my attorney file the divorce petition, after he had quit paying any kind of child support since January (we have two kids that live with me, our 9 year old daughter and 20 year old son). He was shocked that I had done that without talking with him about it first.....seriously?!?

I have never asked him to pay any kind of support for our son, for the last year or going forward, despite the fact that he lives in my home and is a college student (did not qualify for any financial aid, so I pay as well as some from his educational IRA). He says it is "my choice" to send our son to college. The child support guidelines say he should pay $610/month in child support for our daughter......this is based off of my current income and his 2012 W-2 as it is the most current information I have. My hunch is that he now makes $8-10,000 per year more than I do based on prior years. We have been married for 27 years by the way.

He started out, a year ago, paying $200/month in support and had been paying $300 for the last several months. His email to me last night poured on the sympathy factor......"I won't be able to make memories with our kids if I cannot afford to do so", etc. He hadn't event received and read his copy of the divorce petition earlier this week, but based on the knowledge that I had filed it, cried a river to our son on a rare visit.....so much so that my son told me if "I made dad pay more than he could afford, he would have no choice but to move out and move in with him to help support him". What parent does this to their own child?

I just felt the need to vent this morning I guess. Trying to minimize the impact on my children emotionally as much as I can, and fighting off the feelings of how pathetic I see him anymore. Thanks guys

firebolt

I'm sorry you are going through that, and it is ok to see him as pathetic when he is being pathetic. You are allowed to feel that way - if he's anything like the A's in my life, they have earned the pathetic status over and over.

Hang in there - I hope everything goes how it should for you and the kids!

Rosiepetal

I sympathize.
I've been battling child support for 7 years. The system in my country is very unjust.
He has no right to put this on your child.
What about what you pay? Shelter, food, clothing, all the needs in their life.
Rest assured, you are a good Mum & you will get through this.
Don't feel sorry for him one little bit, it makes me so mad when parents only see the monetary value in their kids, it's sickening.
Hang in there.
Hugs.