New here.. what's up y'all
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Boston
Posts: 3
New here.. what's up y'all
Hey everyone,
It's been quite a while since I've started reading through these forums, but it was today that I finally decided to join and try and make a change in my life. I have a pretty serious addiction to alcohol, and it's been this way for going on 15 years. I'm a musician, and I'm always around alcohol and it's kinda just been this way for as long as I can remember. I do know that anything bad that's ever happened to me has been a result of being drunk. I've done so many stupid things while drunk.. costed myself ridiculous amounts of money, but that's not even the worst of it.
I've put everyone in my life second to the booze. Lord knows I'm not suffering from not having people who love me, who would be willing to help me if I ask, but I don't feel I have it in me to ask. I tried to go to a couple of AA meetings here and there over the years, but damn, I feel ridiculous at those things and find myself staring at the floor, waiting for the damn thing to end.
My old buddy told me to write down a list of all the reasons causing me to want to quit. The list was four pages long. I have a couple of young kids, who sure as s**t don't want to grow up with a drunk daddy. Lord knows that's not fun, and I'm speaking from first hand experience here. That list had things like, not showing up for work, having crazy encounters with random women that I sure as hell wouldn't be doing if I didn't have liquor in me, making terrible decisions such as driving, texting and calling people I should not be, running around on my girlfriends, getting into some harder drugs (thankfully this isn't a problem with me, but the liquor is bad enough), and all that kinda stuff. The list goes on and on.
Bottom line is, I need to quit drinking. I've been trying to taper back for quite a while. I stick with the Bud Light now, but I ain't stupid, and sure as the morning follows the night I'll get back on the harder stuff again. It's like the alcohol gives me brain damage, makes me dumb, like a deer in the headlights. I have a pretty successful career, despite all my stupid behaviors in the past, but I know it won't last unless I give up the booze. I've tried to quit in the past, been successful for a month or two at a time, and man it was great. Waking up every morning with a clear head, noticing how much more energy I had. The worst thing about the booze is the anxiety and depression, it gets me down man. I'm generally a positive person, but holy F. The more I drink, the less of that silver lining I can see in any situation. It's like I'm staring into a black hole, and the only thing that I can focus on is that next drink. I know it's gonna kill me, but how can I quit? It feels hopeless at times. I've got a girl now, she's a good one. She doesn't drink much, and she would love if I just give up the booze completely. She's been complaining I've been drinking too much lately, but how do I stop? I'm not about to start going to AA meetings. I've read a few books on quitting, and they made a lot of sense, but the problem is that once they're done, my mind wanders back to the liquor. My head ain't right with this stuff. Booze makes me think 2 and 2 is 5, but I know it's not. It's a whole lot of irrationality.
So this is my first step. I gotta give it up, man. I plan on signing into this site every day and maybe making a post here and there. Maybe getting some tips on how you all have been able to quit and stay quit. Any tips or advice would be welcomed with a warm heart.
Take er easy all. Thanks for your ear.
Johnny
It's been quite a while since I've started reading through these forums, but it was today that I finally decided to join and try and make a change in my life. I have a pretty serious addiction to alcohol, and it's been this way for going on 15 years. I'm a musician, and I'm always around alcohol and it's kinda just been this way for as long as I can remember. I do know that anything bad that's ever happened to me has been a result of being drunk. I've done so many stupid things while drunk.. costed myself ridiculous amounts of money, but that's not even the worst of it.
I've put everyone in my life second to the booze. Lord knows I'm not suffering from not having people who love me, who would be willing to help me if I ask, but I don't feel I have it in me to ask. I tried to go to a couple of AA meetings here and there over the years, but damn, I feel ridiculous at those things and find myself staring at the floor, waiting for the damn thing to end.
My old buddy told me to write down a list of all the reasons causing me to want to quit. The list was four pages long. I have a couple of young kids, who sure as s**t don't want to grow up with a drunk daddy. Lord knows that's not fun, and I'm speaking from first hand experience here. That list had things like, not showing up for work, having crazy encounters with random women that I sure as hell wouldn't be doing if I didn't have liquor in me, making terrible decisions such as driving, texting and calling people I should not be, running around on my girlfriends, getting into some harder drugs (thankfully this isn't a problem with me, but the liquor is bad enough), and all that kinda stuff. The list goes on and on.
Bottom line is, I need to quit drinking. I've been trying to taper back for quite a while. I stick with the Bud Light now, but I ain't stupid, and sure as the morning follows the night I'll get back on the harder stuff again. It's like the alcohol gives me brain damage, makes me dumb, like a deer in the headlights. I have a pretty successful career, despite all my stupid behaviors in the past, but I know it won't last unless I give up the booze. I've tried to quit in the past, been successful for a month or two at a time, and man it was great. Waking up every morning with a clear head, noticing how much more energy I had. The worst thing about the booze is the anxiety and depression, it gets me down man. I'm generally a positive person, but holy F. The more I drink, the less of that silver lining I can see in any situation. It's like I'm staring into a black hole, and the only thing that I can focus on is that next drink. I know it's gonna kill me, but how can I quit? It feels hopeless at times. I've got a girl now, she's a good one. She doesn't drink much, and she would love if I just give up the booze completely. She's been complaining I've been drinking too much lately, but how do I stop? I'm not about to start going to AA meetings. I've read a few books on quitting, and they made a lot of sense, but the problem is that once they're done, my mind wanders back to the liquor. My head ain't right with this stuff. Booze makes me think 2 and 2 is 5, but I know it's not. It's a whole lot of irrationality.
So this is my first step. I gotta give it up, man. I plan on signing into this site every day and maybe making a post here and there. Maybe getting some tips on how you all have been able to quit and stay quit. Any tips or advice would be welcomed with a warm heart.
Take er easy all. Thanks for your ear.
Johnny
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Boston
Posts: 3
I read somewhere to keep track of all the fun you're having when you're on the booze. The truth of it is it's been a long while since I've been drinking and having fun doing so. I mainly just drink alone now, and it's not fun. Why do I do it if it's not fun? Is it just a habit? It's like during the morning and afternoon, I make up my mind to drink some beers in the night, but why do I do that? When I'm going to the fridge and grabbing that eighth beer, it's not like I'm saying to myself boy, this is a barrel of fun. It's like I been programmed this way. I'm a rat in a maze, all's I see is there is one way to go. Why can't I think about it real, and realize that I won't have fun if I drink 11 beers, I'll actually have more fun if I don't drink, plus the next morning I won't be depressed and anxious. My brain is screwy man
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