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Advice please...

Old 03-26-2014, 07:57 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Advice please...

This is my first attempt at sobriety, and I'm 4 days sober now. Yeaa me!!!

Can anyone share there story about how they told their spouse about their decision to stop drinking?

My husband does not have a drinking problem, and he has no idea how much I used to drink. I'm certain he does not see me as an alcoholic. I'm embarrassed that I've ended up an alcoholic, and was hoping to achieve sobriety on my own, without him finding out how bad I'd become. But I'm now realizing after reading more and more here at SR, that the likelihood of me being able to do this without his support is pretty small.

I'm scared to death of how sharing this with him is going to change things between us. Any advice?
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Old 03-26-2014, 08:27 PM
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Well I didn't have a spouse I had to tell, but I can't imagine trying to quit and not letting my other half know.

I remember having to tell my daughter about my drinking problem. It was tough but she has been the one to give me the most support.

This isn't something you can really hide or hope it goes away. Be upfront and honest. Just my honest opinion.

And congrats on Day 4 . You go girl!!
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Old 03-26-2014, 09:30 PM
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Congrats on four days. That is great. I am posting to lend support but can't really give any tips from my own experience as my husband and I met in treatment. I would say that it is harder to do without support so I guess I would tell your husband that you aren't comfortable with the affect alcohol has on you, you don't want to continue drinking alcohol, you are having some trouble with it and would love his support. Then explain how he can be supportive to you.

I think it is best to be honest and open with him. If you don't tell him about this you may be giving yourself an escape hatch to work back into drinking. So is it fear of his reaction to the idea that you might be a problem drinker or fear that if you tell him you will have to stick with being sober because now he knows or is it a bit of both?

Something to think about. And again, great on four days.
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