Aiko

To change we need to change the way we think!!!

1 - . FILTERING (“I cannot stand it”, "It’s Horrible/terrible”)
A- What was the outcome other times ? Was it really that bad???
B- Can you do something if happens again?

2 - . Polarization (“Good-Poor or White-Black)
A- Between these two extremes , there may be intermediate points ?
B- To what extent or percentage is it really true?
C- Which criteria or rules are you measuring this with?

3 - . Overgeneralization (“All, none, always, never ...")
A- How many times did it really happen?
B- What evidences have you got to draw these conclusions?
C- Where is the proof that things are always so?

4 - . INTERPRETATION OF THOUGHT (“I think ...")
A- What evidence have you got to think that?
B- Can we check if this is true?

5 - . CATASTROPHIC VISION (“And if it happened ...")
A- Other times I have thought , so what really happened?
B- What are the chances of that happening?

6 - . EMOTIONAL THINKING (“If I feel bad that means I'm a neurotic " )
A- What did you think to feel that way? Could you feel this way as a result of that interpretation?
B- Feeling this way is no proof that you are a X?

7 - . LABELING (“I am a X, and only a X, that is an X)
A- Is that test tagging totally true of what you are as a person?
B- Are you using that label to describe a behavior? Any conduct fully describes a person?
C- Can be other aspects of that person or behavior that cannot be qualified with that tag?

8 - SHOULD (“I must, I must, He / They should ...")
A- What evidence has to maintain that it is necessarily to be that way?
B- Is it really so bad that it is not as it should? Could we check?
C- Are you perhaps confusing your desires with their demands? Those requirements, how is it hurting you? Stop all should be how I want it to be.

IRRATIONAL THOUGHTS V RATIONAL THOUGHTS

I need him to do that V
I want / desire / prefer him to do that but I do not necessarily get what I want

Everything always goes wrong V
sometimes, perhaps often , things go wrong

Nothing works V
things fail more often than you'd like

This is my life V
This is a very important part of my life

This should be easier V
I wish it was easier but often what suits me is difficult to achieve

Should have done better V
I would rather have done better but I did what I could at the moment

I'm a failure V
I am a person that sometimes fails

V

Aellyce

Hi Aiko,

Here is a follow-up about common psychological defense mechanisms that relate to the everyday life and also addictive tendencies and their development.
15 Common Defense Mechanisms | Psych Central

Aellyce

From the link I've sent, I think I'm personally prone to: compartmentalization, projection, intellectualization, rationalization, compensation, maybe assertiveness (sometimes).

But back to your post (sorry I don't mean to hijack ).
Perhaps one could create an interesting survey / test pattern from having people respond to the questions on your list and weighing the responses.

Aiko

HI Haennie,

Thank you for your post.
My problem is I should, I must, they should ...
Demanding too much of myself and others...

I will translate your defence mechanism it and take it to the addictions centre.

I believe we all can change for better

Big Hug,
Aiko

Aellyce

I think I know, Aiko. The expectations and demands... internal and external... the never enough...

Yes I also believe now that all this can change. I hope
Best wishes on your journey!