nullandv01d

...Where I know booze will be involved. I've gotten trashed every weekend this year almost and decided last week was enough. I'm going to decide not to drink and just focus on my friends. Nobody will pressure me into it. Coming back sober brb

resolute50

So why pull the donkey's tail and not expect to get kicked?
I would suggest avoiding these situations for a while.

Mits78

Good decision null!

Dee74

Personally I think early recovery is hard enough without willingly putting yourself in situations like this.

There will be other parties - and you don't need to sit at home and be a hermit either - there must be dozens of things to do today/tonight that don't involve alcohol.

D

Forghetti35

Ooof. I'm not sure this is smart. It wasn't for me the dozens of times ive tried to quit in the past. Unless I have 6-12:months recovery time, I'm not going to any parties where alcohol is prevalent.
Good luck n check back.

BrendonM

Feels like you are tempting fate. I only am around alcohol when I'm with my girlfriend, because she will bring down the wrath of God on me if I even look at the bottle. Anytime I even smell alcohol I can feel it in my bones and my will usually breaks. If you pull it off then great work, but I hope you've really thought this through. I've let zeal get the best of me so many times.

Lance40

You're probably already gone to the party, so you have my best wishes that it goes according to plan. Check back in to let us know how it went.

Part of what is helping me in early sobriety is staying away from situations that used to be associated with drinking unless it's in unavoidable situations with family or select friends and close co-workers who would not allow me to have a drink because they are aware of why I'm not drinking.

nullandv01d

I survived! It wasn't so bad. By 'party' I meant a get-together where people sat around and had drinks. Some of them. Nothing crazy.

I know what you mean though. I got kicked by the 'donkey' last weekend and blew it... had a talk with myself about whether I could enjoy myself without alcohol. It's just something I had to prove to myself. Thanks!

kiki1988

You say that... but there aren't really if that is what all your friends are doing. I spent this weekend sitting at home watching movies, but I can't do that every weekend.

nullandv01d

Yea, last weekend I slipped into the "have one or two" mode of thinking and that did not work at all. Abstaining is a lot easier. I'm not really tempted at times when drinking is socially inappropriate or by myself. I just have problems stopping if the situation allows me to continue. If that makes sense.

Dee74

I was where you are once too, Kiki

As time went on I realised I really wanted to be sober more than anything else and nothing and none would sway me from that.

That took me about 3 to 4 months. That means I probably missed 6 or 7 parties. max?.
7 years on, it's not worth worrying about.

So, with new 'sober muscles' I went to a few parties and still do - surprising thing was I found I didn't really enjoy them very much anymore and I realised that I never did - I just liked the 'excuse' to get wasted.

Drunk people are pretty annoying really.

I had a lot of drink buddy friends who drifted away...but I've made lots of new friends and reconnected with old ones where the basis of the friendship isn't alcohol or drugs.

D

kiki1988

I honestly do believe you on that - I have drinking buddies that have pretty much slipped away already - after a week!

The thing is, I have real friends - friends I have had since I was 12 years old so long before alcohol was a factor, who drink all the time. I know they will be really supportive because they are good people (who have in the past taken me to A and E after alcohol related injuries, so they will not argue that I don't have a problem) But their social lives will always revolve around alcohol... So I have to find a way to be around it. Maybe not yet, but at some point. My Dad who has been sober for 20 years never did, and he's miserable at any occasion where alcohol is served - I don't want to be that person.

Dee74

You don't need to tackle this problem right now tho - a week is great but just staying sober was my main focus for the first 4 weeks or so. That was hard enough without throwing a party into the mix.

Things may change too - you may see things differently next week, let alone 3 or 6 months from now?

D

kiki1988

Yeah, I'm trying really hard to grasp this 'one day at a time' stuff but it is easier said than done.

This is actually quite funny - the other day I had a bit of a panic about what I am going to do for my 30th birthday. Why is it funny? Because I'm 25 - I'm turning 26 in June but for some reason my 30th is on my mind ?!?!?

MIRecovery

I found that I had to change most things in my life and that included drinking situations and drinking friends. I have seen too many fail because they thought all they had to do was quit drinking.