Mellybug

Just a thought that keeps coming up for me:
I come to this forum and another support group daily to read others' experiences, give my ESH, and find new subjects for me to "chew on" that I feel can help me grow as an individual.

The thought that keeps coming up: Is this just another way for me to "obsess" over the Alcoholism? I am not engaging with him, I'm making great strides towards my own growth and emotional health, however, I'm still deliberately bringing the chaos into my consciousness daily by re-experiencing situations.

I'm not beating myself up about it or anything, just wondering about it...it seems like by reading about the disease and going to forums daily that I'm still somewhat immersed in it daily.

Thoughts?

FeelingGreat

hi Melly, my take is that the topic is filling your mind at the moment and forums are a way of getting it out there and working it out. A bit like dreams. I wonder if you're dreaming more than usual?
anyway, it's a great way of working through your problems.

shil2587

I thought that too in the beginning. Now I know I was but I have learnt so much that I am glad I did. Does that make any sense?

marie1960

Knowledge calms the mind and soul.

I have never considered my time here obsessing, but rather a personal choice to educate myself. Education allows me grow, go forward in my life, I can live without regret or guilt. I can show compassion and possess empathy without feeling the NEED to fix/ save the world.

HealingWillCome

I'm no longer in a relationship with an alcoholic/addict, but my time here...

1. keeps me grounded
2. allows me to give back
3. helps me to be a better parent, daughter, friend, sister, employee, etc.

I never, ever again want to jump on the crazy train of life with an alcoholic/addict. SR was my lifeline at at time when I thought I might go crazy with the grief and pain of that lifestyle. I still learn from others' experience and wisdom here, and agree with Marie--knowledge can calm the mind and soul.

Stung

My thoughts are similar to Marie's; knowledge is power. There is a lot to learn about alcoholism and even more to learn about the isms that draw people to alcohol and other people to alcoholics. I feel like the more I learn here the better I'm arming myself to never find myself in a precarious situation with an alcoholic again and I'm learning to better spot my own isms to overcome them. My goal by being here is growth and health and this is a means if getting there. I don't so much post about my qualifier anymore, mostly just about myself.

Pia

Everyone is different however. Educating myself helped me to learn that what I was experience was not normal behavior and not love.

I don't have someone in person I can talk to that understand my situation. 99.9999% I have experienced someone else has gone through and trying to figure out either what to do or what they did.

Mellybug

I don't really see it as a bad thing that I am doing these things, since every day I find a nugget of something that makes me think. When I think I ponder those things that I believe will help me "grow".
When I feel like I no longer need to keep doing it, that's about the same time that I keep my eyes open for the next emotional floodgate that opens. I have no idea how long I will feel like this, but I'm so new to the whole thing, and have lived with addition my entire life. My grandmother was a hard-core A and it finally ended her life. My dad was an A. My sister is a prescription pill addict. So, yeah, I need the programs and literature I have found.

Thank you to everyone that continues to post and share.