BrokenBottles

I posted here a little bit last summer and I gave up. For the most part I got much worse.

I've put aside my reservations about AA, and I am going to attend meetings. I am going to take part in a local program. I am nervous because no one knows my issues and I'm not very open about it, but I know people who participate in this program.

I drink (drank, HA) because I hate myself, and alcohol never took that away. As I'm sure anyone can imagine, it makes the self-loathing worse.

I don't think that the self-loathing will ever improve, to be honest -- it's too deeply ingrained at this point. I just want to feel healthier because I feel myself dying slowly, and I'm too young to feel this bad.

I had a traumatic incident last year that made my drinking spiral out of control. I also gained a lot of weight and I have been overeating as well.

I'm a lone drinker, and I spend most of my time alone, so that's going to be a challenge.


I just wanted to introduce myself (again!)

instant

Sorry to hear things have not been going well, but it is great to you have a plan and are back at SR where you are amongst friends.

I found that in time I started to gain more self respect, and at nearly three years I am still making headway and growing instead of dying.

It's a journey- I found best regarded as an adventure into the unknown

FreeOwl

welcome back....

and you can do this.

And also - the self-loathing can be overcome, you'll be surprised.

Keep it up!!!!

Chilledice

Welcome back

You can do this, keep posting , don't be a stranger

tootsl1

Broken bottles, I too was a lone drinker, as are many here, and yes, that can make it a harder battle. Though with the better weather coming in, perhaps some evening walking would be a good distraction and help with the recent weight gain? And AA meetings will take up time too. As for the self loathing, you are right that alcohol makes it worse, I hated myself for drinking and drank because it momentarily stopped me hating myself..... Vicious circle. It is never too late to look at why you have such low self worth, but maybe that can go on a back burner for now, unless you want to keep a journal, some people find it helps in the early days, and it's amazing how far into your own psyche you can explore if you allow honesty. Have you joined the Class of March 2014 For those of you stopping drinking this month? Plenty of support and good ideas there. Good luck BB x

Goldcoastgirl

Welcome back broken bottles. Time to look after yourself and find some peace and happiness x

least

Welcome back! I'm glad you giving it another go.