Chelsea1029

Although I feel like I've been on an emotional roller coaster and it gets discouraging when I get sucked in to AH's nonsense, I had a pleasant thought tonight.
One of the things that has been helpful for me to read on this board is to pay attention to actions not words. So I started thinking about this in relation to myself (not just AH). I was feeling down and thinking I was going backwards...but when I think about my actions since he left, this is what I've discovered:
I sleep at night.
I wake up happy to get up.
I don't mind cooking or cleaning anymore. I don't even mind bringing the garbage can to and from the road.
I love having the kids' friends over now.
I play games more with my kids.
I smile and laugh more.

So I don't need to listen to the negative self talk in my head when it comes up, my actions remind me I am doing better.
Hope this makes some sense!

Hawkeye13

"Hope this makes some sense!"

Yes it does!

Thank you for sharing it.
Your home sounds like a happy place for you and your kids.
That action speaks pretty loud to me

honeypig

Chelsea, so glad to hear about your progress! That "watch the actions, not the words" thing is SO important, isn't it? I used to get all bogged down in the swamp of "but so-and-so SAID..." which so often did not match up w/what so-and-so actually DID, whether it was my A or a friend or co-worker. It's so much simpler when you can eliminate "but so-and-so SAID" and only go by what they DID.

And what a revelation to apply that to yourself in terms of deciding whether you're making progress! I think you're a pretty smart cookie, Chelsea.

Wishing you strength and clarity.