I believe - sober weekend thread 3/21-23
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
I believe - sober weekend thread 3/21-23
“I will not drink today.” And I believe myself.
Who among us has not said that when we first came to? And believed it?
In my heart of hearts I believed myself every morning I spoke those words. Until that time of day... Or until that day of the week…
Then came that moment when I tell myself I am NOT an alcoholic. And do I believe that? I do.
If that describes you then we are not alone. This way of thinking is very real.
Here is what the professionals say: “In psychology, cognitive dissonance is the excessive mental stress and discomfort experienced by an individual who holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same time. This stress and discomfort may also arise within an individual who holds a belief and performs a contradictory action or reaction.”
Yup, that’s me!
There is a whole lot out there about this topic but what I want to know is what the heck do I do?
I have three choices:
- Change my behavior – Stop drinking.
- Justify my behavior by changing what I believe – I can have this drink because I have been so good I deserve it.
- Justify my behavior by adding to what I believe about my behavior – I know I shouldn’t drink but I will stop tomorrow.
Spend this weekend thinking about the back and forth we do in our heads. I can go between all three of these within moments of each other.
If knowledge is power then going into this weekend we are all more powerful.
I have had continuous sobriety since 10/24/13. Not a long time. I don’t share that much since I don’t find it helpful to anyone but me.
But every weekend I have remained sober has been because I saw what I was doing and made the choice to change my behavior. I made that choice a thousand times and will a thousand more I suspect.
My 2.5 rehabs taught me to pay attention to my thoughts. It takes some practice. It’s totally doable!
Believe in yourself this weekend! Stay sober!
Ken
Who among us has not said that when we first came to? And believed it?
In my heart of hearts I believed myself every morning I spoke those words. Until that time of day... Or until that day of the week…
Then came that moment when I tell myself I am NOT an alcoholic. And do I believe that? I do.
If that describes you then we are not alone. This way of thinking is very real.
Here is what the professionals say: “In psychology, cognitive dissonance is the excessive mental stress and discomfort experienced by an individual who holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same time. This stress and discomfort may also arise within an individual who holds a belief and performs a contradictory action or reaction.”
Yup, that’s me!
There is a whole lot out there about this topic but what I want to know is what the heck do I do?
I have three choices:
- Change my behavior – Stop drinking.
- Justify my behavior by changing what I believe – I can have this drink because I have been so good I deserve it.
- Justify my behavior by adding to what I believe about my behavior – I know I shouldn’t drink but I will stop tomorrow.
Spend this weekend thinking about the back and forth we do in our heads. I can go between all three of these within moments of each other.
If knowledge is power then going into this weekend we are all more powerful.
I have had continuous sobriety since 10/24/13. Not a long time. I don’t share that much since I don’t find it helpful to anyone but me.
But every weekend I have remained sober has been because I saw what I was doing and made the choice to change my behavior. I made that choice a thousand times and will a thousand more I suspect.
My 2.5 rehabs taught me to pay attention to my thoughts. It takes some practice. It’s totally doable!
Believe in yourself this weekend! Stay sober!
Ken
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: against the grain
Posts: 746
I'm in for another sober weekend,guys. I'm looking forward to Sunday. it is my son's 7 th birthday party,and it will be the first one of his b- days that I will not be hungover. In one sense that is sad, but gotta start somewhere, right? Then we have band practice later that night, so it'll be a fun day all around. Saturday, well, I'll be glued to the NCAA tournament- wrestling, NOT basketball.
Have a good weekend everyone. If this is one of your first sober weekends, hang tight, it does get easier. The weekends are so much better sober, as is everything
Have a good weekend everyone. If this is one of your first sober weekends, hang tight, it does get easier. The weekends are so much better sober, as is everything
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Originally Posted by malcolmsloan 
I'm in for another sober weekend,guys. I'm looking forward to Sunday. it is my son's 7 th birthday party,and it will be the first one of his b- days that I will not be hungover. In one sense that is sad, but gotta start somewhere, right? Then we have band practice later that night, so it'll be a fun day all around. Saturday, well, I'll be glued to the NCAA tournament- wrestling, NOT basketball.
Have a good weekend everyone. If this is one of your first sober weekends, hang tight, it does get easier. The weekends are so much better sober, as is everything
Have a good weekend everyone. If this is one of your first sober weekends, hang tight, it does get easier. The weekends are so much better sober, as is everything
I think your son's birthday is a fantastic place to start!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I'm in for a sober weekend although it is still Thursday here. Thanks Ken for getting us started with another thought provoking and honest post. My husband is taking our daughter to her school's daddy daughter dance tomorrow night. His birthday. They will have fun.
My mom may or may not be available to watch our son so that I can go to a meeting. If not, my son and I will play Uno and hang out. My mom may need the distraction. My dad hasn't been well this winter and she is worried. I am worried. He had a doctors appointment tonight and has another tomorrow with his cardiologist. He may need a heart valve replacement. He is already partially bionic with a pacemaker and defibrillator. A good example of why smoking is bad for you as I light up another cigarette. He quit after his heart attack ten years ago. But the damage is done. Time for me to put effort into thinking about quitting myself. I am an addict.
My mom may or may not be available to watch our son so that I can go to a meeting. If not, my son and I will play Uno and hang out. My mom may need the distraction. My dad hasn't been well this winter and she is worried. I am worried. He had a doctors appointment tonight and has another tomorrow with his cardiologist. He may need a heart valve replacement. He is already partially bionic with a pacemaker and defibrillator. A good example of why smoking is bad for you as I light up another cigarette. He quit after his heart attack ten years ago. But the damage is done. Time for me to put effort into thinking about quitting myself. I am an addict.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Somewhere Nice!
Posts: 423
Count me in for the weekend.
My daughter is home from college for the quarter break. It is going to be a fun weekend catching up with her for the week. Now that I don't spend a bunch of time sneaking around getting drinks I will be able to spend more time with here.
My daughter is home from college for the quarter break. It is going to be a fun weekend catching up with her for the week. Now that I don't spend a bunch of time sneaking around getting drinks I will be able to spend more time with here.
.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Thanks Aarryckha. For a long time I didn't want to think about it but lately I've been prepping myself for the "what if" and planning how to stay sober. I never put much thought into it before because I was in denial but I can't keep my head in the sand. I kept thinking "well, grandpa doesn't change so why should dad?" My dad's father is still alive. At 93 he is in near perfect health with all his faculties. Lives alone. Does all his own errands, cooking and chores. Shovels his own snow so he can walk his dog. Golfs four days a week. But he is the exception and not the rule so I can't expect my dad to take after his father. Didn't mean to be so long winded. Just been on my mind today.
On a lighter note, it is almost bedtime for me. Yay!
On a lighter note, it is almost bedtime for me. Yay!
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Hey Ken ,
Thanks for kicking us off and the well thought out ideas in your post .
This weekend , some nice showers , some comedy on the telly , maybe take mex-m8 to the beach so we can see the waves and smell the salty air , eat some tasty food .
Another day in freedom i hope i get another tomorrow . *ring ring*
Bestwishes, m
Thanks for kicking us off and the well thought out ideas in your post .
This weekend , some nice showers , some comedy on the telly , maybe take mex-m8 to the beach so we can see the waves and smell the salty air , eat some tasty food .
Another day in freedom i hope i get another tomorrow . *ring ring*
Bestwishes, m
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Woo hoo! Good morning!
I have some new furniture being delivered early next week. So I am shampooing carpets and shifting things around. Love moving stuff I the house as it makes it feel new. In my hay day drinking and doing crack nothing moved. Not even me. In fact I sold things more than bought things.
Not any more!
Good to see you all. Work day today!
*ring ring*
I have some new furniture being delivered early next week. So I am shampooing carpets and shifting things around. Love moving stuff I the house as it makes it feel new. In my hay day drinking and doing crack nothing moved. Not even me. In fact I sold things more than bought things.
Not any more!
Good to see you all. Work day today!
*ring ring*
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
