anchorbird

With therapy and some good soul searching I have realized that as much as I want to be in control of drinking, I can not be, I am not wired that way.

As a child I was abused for a number of years and someone else had control. In my teenage years and as an adult this has led me to be a control freak over everything. When drinking got out of hand, I rejected the fact that I couldn't control it and I have continued to do just that.

Last night it dawned on me that I haven't been in control, I have let alcohol run the show. WOW, what a realization that was for me!!! Here I had been thinking I was controlling my life, but in reality I have been letting alcohol do that!!! Well, to that I say NO MORE!!! I am letting God take the reigns and will put my trust back into Him, all I can do is the next right thing and that starts with not drinking.

I know I have to work out what I will do to keep this momentum, but I just needed to get this out in the universe today.

soberclover

I remember having that same moment of realizing just how real the fact was that I cannot control my drinking. I think it has made a big difference in my sobriety. Glad you had the same moment too!

Ghostlight1

I had a revalations once like that, too. I turned things over to Him and I've been able to stop after a thirty year drinking career.

Best to you.

ScottFromWI

Glad you've made the choice to stop Anchor. I remember the moment I finally realized i was going to quit and it was a huge relief.

Your trust in god will certainly be a big part of your recovery, but remember that you need to also have a plan other than just "not drinking". Do you have one? Can we help you come up with one if you don't?

Anna

That's great Anchorbird.

I have similar circumstances, and added to that my parents gave me no freedom whatsoever and no opportunities to make choices for myself. I turned into a major control-freak too, though I wasn't yet drinking. But, I slowly drove myself crazy trying to control things in my life.

Alcoholism is very sneaky and like you, I wasn't aware that I was giving away control of my life when I started drinking. But, when I stopped drinking, I felt so much peace.

Dee74

I hope you can make this a turning point AB

D

least

I hope this can be your successful attempt at sobriety.

Hevyn

Sounds like a breakthrough for sure anchor. I'm happy you've come to this realization.

Hawkeye13

You can do this--sounds like you are ready ab