My letter to my beloved partner..
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Burrell Creek
Posts: 3
My letter to my beloved partner..
G'day, I am a "newbie" as its called here on this site... and after being privileged to read what others have shared. I know I am not alone and that is a great comfort. So, I decided to share the letter I wrote in the early hours of this morning to my beloved partner, when I felt my lowest and it was the last time I would allow myself to be subjected to his verbal drunken abuse.
I slid the letter under our bedroom door, as he locked me out and felt a wonderful release. For the first time in many years I have hope and that's not something I felt for a long time. All my life I hear through teachings we should have compassion, empathy and forgiveness. But we also should have detachment. Because without that, we can nourish our selves and become a better, happier person. Anyway...
Thanks for taking the time to read my letter to the man I love; who just sadly happens to suffer a terrible disease called alcoholism...
Dated: 19/3/2014
0120hrs
Babe.
You are precious to me. I love you very much. You are superior in your way you see the world. You are full of compassion, kindness and the need to be good to all who cross your path.
My true compassion and love for you is simple... I recognize you are unique. Naturally I aspire for us to be happy and to overcome all our hurdles together. I am writing this with no element of discrimination or prejudice on my part. But after deep reflection and opening my mind to prayer, I have decided I can't help you. I have wronged you Babe. I believed I could help you over come your dependency to alcohol. But I can't. I have taken all the wrong roads.
1) Try to control your habit: Insisting on promises you can't make. But reality is you can't control your drinking and therefore all your promises were doomed.
2) Covering up your problem to family and friends: Babe I totally understand with you not wanting others to know how bad your drinking is. But I can't do that for you anymore. No, I am not going to tell the world you are an alcoholic. But at the same time, I am not going to make excuses for you anymore.
3) Having unrealistic expectations from you: I will now stop asking you to promise not to drink. The decision is yours and yours alone. This only makes me angry when you honestly can't keep a promise. I set myself up for repeated hurt and disappointment. For you really can't keep your promise to be sober! So no more nagging from me- PROMISE!!
So Babe...
I have decided to "detach" myself from your alcoholic dependency. I am not well. My health is suffering. I took leave from work to restore my well being and find equilibrium back in my life. But I find my self stressed, sad, anxious and angry. This not healthy for our relationship, to grow, be happy and seek all our goals. We need to heal ourselves.
From now on babe, I am going to concentrate on getting better, eating well, exercise and going back to my treatment plan: Ie: giving up smoking, continue sessions with ---- therapy. etc.
I have decided I never want to see you drink in front of me again!!! Babe I can't stop you drinking. But I can choose not to be around you when you decide to drink. Babe, I refuse to be a part of your self destructive path. That means YOU CAN'T EVER DRINK ALCHOLOL IN OUR HOUSE WHEN I'M HERE! I can't be apart of that part of your life again.
If and when you decided to become sober, the journey is your own. I will love you and I wont judge you. But, only you can decide to stop drinking.
Sorry Babe you are on your own when it comes to your alcohol addiction. If this doesn't work and you find it too hard. Then I don't want to see or hear from you until you are sober.
* Just let you know I received a text from my partner, stating he will respect my wishes of not drinking in the house. This is yet to be seen. But, I am happy. As I have made the first steps to detach myself from a sickness that was eating away my dignity and self esteem.
God bless xo
I slid the letter under our bedroom door, as he locked me out and felt a wonderful release. For the first time in many years I have hope and that's not something I felt for a long time. All my life I hear through teachings we should have compassion, empathy and forgiveness. But we also should have detachment. Because without that, we can nourish our selves and become a better, happier person. Anyway...
Thanks for taking the time to read my letter to the man I love; who just sadly happens to suffer a terrible disease called alcoholism...
Dated: 19/3/2014
0120hrs
Babe.
You are precious to me. I love you very much. You are superior in your way you see the world. You are full of compassion, kindness and the need to be good to all who cross your path.
My true compassion and love for you is simple... I recognize you are unique. Naturally I aspire for us to be happy and to overcome all our hurdles together. I am writing this with no element of discrimination or prejudice on my part. But after deep reflection and opening my mind to prayer, I have decided I can't help you. I have wronged you Babe. I believed I could help you over come your dependency to alcohol. But I can't. I have taken all the wrong roads.
1) Try to control your habit: Insisting on promises you can't make. But reality is you can't control your drinking and therefore all your promises were doomed.
2) Covering up your problem to family and friends: Babe I totally understand with you not wanting others to know how bad your drinking is. But I can't do that for you anymore. No, I am not going to tell the world you are an alcoholic. But at the same time, I am not going to make excuses for you anymore.
3) Having unrealistic expectations from you: I will now stop asking you to promise not to drink. The decision is yours and yours alone. This only makes me angry when you honestly can't keep a promise. I set myself up for repeated hurt and disappointment. For you really can't keep your promise to be sober! So no more nagging from me- PROMISE!!
So Babe...
I have decided to "detach" myself from your alcoholic dependency. I am not well. My health is suffering. I took leave from work to restore my well being and find equilibrium back in my life. But I find my self stressed, sad, anxious and angry. This not healthy for our relationship, to grow, be happy and seek all our goals. We need to heal ourselves.
From now on babe, I am going to concentrate on getting better, eating well, exercise and going back to my treatment plan: Ie: giving up smoking, continue sessions with ---- therapy. etc.
I have decided I never want to see you drink in front of me again!!! Babe I can't stop you drinking. But I can choose not to be around you when you decide to drink. Babe, I refuse to be a part of your self destructive path. That means YOU CAN'T EVER DRINK ALCHOLOL IN OUR HOUSE WHEN I'M HERE! I can't be apart of that part of your life again.
If and when you decided to become sober, the journey is your own. I will love you and I wont judge you. But, only you can decide to stop drinking.
Sorry Babe you are on your own when it comes to your alcohol addiction. If this doesn't work and you find it too hard. Then I don't want to see or hear from you until you are sober.
* Just let you know I received a text from my partner, stating he will respect my wishes of not drinking in the house. This is yet to be seen. But, I am happy. As I have made the first steps to detach myself from a sickness that was eating away my dignity and self esteem.
God bless xo
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 33
That took a lot of courage, thank you for sharing and you are right, it is HIS journey and as much as we want to help, we cannot. You are strong and beautiful and need to take care of you! Good luck on your journey to health and happiness ~ sending good gugu your way!
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