New here and new to recovery
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Montana
Posts: 151
New here and new to recovery
Hello all. About to turn 34 and have been drinking heavily every other day to deal with stress. Doctor told me to quit because of high tryglicerides a year or so ago. I just couldn't stop. I'm seeing a counselor now and have attended a few meetings. Every other day I wake up with a hangover/withdrawl. I've stopped for about a month on antabuse and all my bloodwork came back perfect, I also lost 20 pounds. So like a moron I figured I could drink again in moderation. About 2 months ago. Back to square 1. Had to lie to my counselor today to cancel an appointment because of a brutal hangover. Said I got sick from my kids. I'm just really afraid and keep thinking it's too late for me. Typical day 1 depression. God I want to be sober. It's day 2 that really gets me. The cravings are brutal but I seem a little better after day 3. I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired so I came here. Thanks for reading all my nonsense and god bless!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello, and welcome.
I chronicaly relapsed, too. Only it was the fourth day that got me at the beginning. Even with swearing it off, solemn vows and the brutal hangovers I would drink again.
Eventualy this led to be an every day drinker. Doing shooters of whiskey at 8 am and drinking beer the rest of the whole day. I had done it. I was a drunk. I was afraid to quit and afraid to drink because I knew the horrors that waited for me if I stopped.
I attended AA meetings where I found people just like me, only with different stories. I thought I was alone in my drinking. I learned from the people there I was not.
Even with that knowledge, I drank again. But it wasn't the same. Something had clicked in my brain. My moment of clarity, if you will.
I keep fresh in my mind the nightmarish hangovers, the wasted days and missed opportunities.
Some self knowledge that I am an alcoholic, who can not safely drink, what I learned in AA and the memories of my horrorable life have kept me sober for over three years now.
So, no, it's not too late for you.
You've had some sober time and you can do it again. It took me a long time, but I never gave up trying. I wish the same for you.
You've found a great place for support I hope it helps you.
I chronicaly relapsed, too. Only it was the fourth day that got me at the beginning. Even with swearing it off, solemn vows and the brutal hangovers I would drink again.
Eventualy this led to be an every day drinker. Doing shooters of whiskey at 8 am and drinking beer the rest of the whole day. I had done it. I was a drunk. I was afraid to quit and afraid to drink because I knew the horrors that waited for me if I stopped.
I attended AA meetings where I found people just like me, only with different stories. I thought I was alone in my drinking. I learned from the people there I was not.
Even with that knowledge, I drank again. But it wasn't the same. Something had clicked in my brain. My moment of clarity, if you will.
I keep fresh in my mind the nightmarish hangovers, the wasted days and missed opportunities.
Some self knowledge that I am an alcoholic, who can not safely drink, what I learned in AA and the memories of my horrorable life have kept me sober for over three years now.
So, no, it's not too late for you.
You've had some sober time and you can do it again. It took me a long time, but I never gave up trying. I wish the same for you.
You've found a great place for support I hope it helps you.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Welcome Fishin! You are with people who truly understand. I felt so much better when I found SR - I wasn't alone anymore.
I drank to ease my stress too. In the end, it did just the opposite - my anxiety level was huge & I was miserable. You're doing a great thing by getting free of it. You can do it.
I drank to ease my stress too. In the end, it did just the opposite - my anxiety level was huge & I was miserable. You're doing a great thing by getting free of it. You can do it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 3
After joining this forum just a few minutes ago I already feel a sense of relief. As I sit here scared and crying I am comforted to know I am not alone.
I feel ridiculous for being terrified that I will lose some of my closest friends by not drinking. It seems that every event or outing is one based around a bar or excuse to drink. Whether it's just having friends over for dinner, or heading out for a meal to celebrate a birthday, the drinks seem to be central to our fun. And what I've realized, is that the anxiety and depression I feel after these nights is not worth it.
I don't want to spend my days exhausted and hungover dealing with anxiety, I want to spend my days being healthy and successful.
My struggle is now being honest with myself and my support system, and I am hoping that everyone will "have my back". Will I feel left out? What will weekends consist of? Will my boyfriend still love me, I'm hoping he will love me more.
Are these feelings normal? When does it get easier, or does it ever?
Sorry to rant on and on, just looking for others to understand.
Thank you for reading. And I wish you all luck and send love and support to each and every one of you, and your families.
I feel ridiculous for being terrified that I will lose some of my closest friends by not drinking. It seems that every event or outing is one based around a bar or excuse to drink. Whether it's just having friends over for dinner, or heading out for a meal to celebrate a birthday, the drinks seem to be central to our fun. And what I've realized, is that the anxiety and depression I feel after these nights is not worth it.
I don't want to spend my days exhausted and hungover dealing with anxiety, I want to spend my days being healthy and successful.
My struggle is now being honest with myself and my support system, and I am hoping that everyone will "have my back". Will I feel left out? What will weekends consist of? Will my boyfriend still love me, I'm hoping he will love me more.
Are these feelings normal? When does it get easier, or does it ever?
Sorry to rant on and on, just looking for others to understand.
Thank you for reading. And I wish you all luck and send love and support to each and every one of you, and your families.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
Welcome to SR, Fishin!
Stick around SR and you'll get great support. You're in the right place!
As for the first few days, treat yourself like you're sick -- you are. Don't expect too much too soon and don't let anything persuade you to "make yourself well" with a drink -- not today!
Stick around SR and you'll get great support. You're in the right place!
As for the first few days, treat yourself like you're sick -- you are. Don't expect too much too soon and don't let anything persuade you to "make yourself well" with a drink -- not today!
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
Welcome, Meglet! You will find that other people -- non-problem drinkers -- don't care too much if you're not drinking. It's you who cares. Just keep remembering that you care MORE about getting sober than you do about ANYTHING else! <3
You'll find lots of support here to help you stop drinking for good. 
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Welcome! Congrats on making it through your first day!
Make sure to drink plenty of fluids and eat something. Lots of people use something sweet to help with the cravings... ice cream, chocolate, fruit.
It's going to get better. Hang in there!
Make sure to drink plenty of fluids and eat something. Lots of people use something sweet to help with the cravings... ice cream, chocolate, fruit.
It's going to get better. Hang in there!
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Montana
Posts: 151
Day 2. Feel like a bag of dirt. Nausea, chills, headache,etc. I want to go to a meeting but feel so sick. Withdrawal seems a bit worse this time. Not sure I want to get out of bed. Wifey is making some toast so I can get some vitamins in me. This sucks but I'm not going to drink today!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,534
Fishin, get to that meeting if there is any way you can do it! Everyone there will understand and you need that support.
Meglet, I was in your shoes seven months ago. You can do this and life WILL be better. Go for it!
Meglet, I was in your shoes seven months ago. You can do this and life WILL be better. Go for it!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 3
Day 2! Trying to get myself motivated to do something positive - get to the gym or maybe just a walk around the block.
Not to mention it's time to get back to work.
I'm still feeling scared about losing people but in reading all your kind and supportive responses I guess anyone I lose isn't worth having in my life.
Stay strong my new friends!
Not to mention it's time to get back to work.
I'm still feeling scared about losing people but in reading all your kind and supportive responses I guess anyone I lose isn't worth having in my life.
Stay strong my new friends!
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