Mrrryah1

Well after constant mental obsessing all weekend I gave in and picked up. I embarrassed myself, feel absolutely sick today and very sheepish. At least the mental obsessing has stopped. I know I want sobriety. Drinking n using does nothing for me anymore... Back on the sober train for me.

The funny thing is... If I could go back I don't know if I could even make the decision to stay sober. The obsessing was so bad I felt like I was going to completely lose my mind if I didn't pick up. And I'm talking for days on end, not 5 minutes. I held on as long as I could. I met w my sponsor. I called sober friends. I went to a meeting. Nothing helped. The desire just got stronger and stronger until it was all I could think about and the noise in my head was so loud I couldn't take it. Ugh. I knew there would be consequences but the desire to drink was way stronger than the desire to not face those consequences.

Crazy alcoholic mind...

least

Maybe it's time to try something new for your recovery. Have you considered AA or counseling?

toddle118

I think we can all relate to this. After years of drinking its going to be tough to retrain our thoughts and cravings, we want it to happen overnight but it takes time to recondition our minds I think. At least youve decided to start a sober life again, good luck, we are all behind you x

Mrrryah1

I do go to AA. I probably do need counselling

Ghostlight1

I give you an 'A' for effort. You fought it as long as could. I know the feeling, I've been there many times.
Keep in mind how you feel now and realize you never have to feel that way again.
That works for me.

Best to you and don't give up trying.