Hamartia

Why can't I make my actions correspond with my desires and goals?
Why is sobriety (for me) something unattainable -- it's like its a cloud hanging so far above me that I can't reach it. Sobriety is for those who deserve it. It's for those good people -- not me. This is how I feel. Here I am: I raised my child by myself after my husband died; worked hard to make ends meet but never borrowed a dime from anyone; got her through college; went to college after that and have two degrees; taught at a local university for seven years; and am now the Executive Director of a nonprofit organization; and yet, I feel like everyone else is better than me -- I don't deserve to be sober or successful or happy.

Anna

That's something I had to come to terms with, too.

We all deserve a good life. It's that simple.

SineadOConnor

We get sober because we ARE deserving. So they say. I'm trying to convince myself of that too. Now lets ask ourselves, why aren't we deserving?

GotGrace

(((Hamartia)))

You are deserving.

FeelingGreat

Sobriety in the context of alcoholism is IMO for the bad boys and girls. I think of the goodies as the ones who never became alcoholic in the first place. So welcome to the naughty crowd
Anyhow, are you sure it's just that you don't think life will be bearable without alcohol? I think you could make a plan to stop & get as much support together as you can. There's the doctor, AA, counsellors. If you can make it through the cravings I'm sure you'll love to have the monkey off your back.

Joe Nerv

For some people nothing short of a spiritual experience will save them from their alcoholism. That was absolutely the case with me. I should note too that I have no belief in god as god is traditionally defined. I did however pray, lots, during my drinking. I prayed for help and understanding to an undefined higher power (or force) I always believed existed. And I found myself sober one day through a series of coincidences and circumstances I felt were put in my path. I drank every single day for the last 4 years of my drinking and could not stop. I'm coming up on thirty years alcohol free, and happy about it, in august.

Oh yeah... AA had a lot to do with the above. AA, prayer, and boatloads of open mindedness and willingness.

IOAA2

I totally agree with Joe. I'll add that a healthy POSITIVE attitude is also needed. I kept repeating "I can do it, I can do it." for about 2 weeks and noticed that "it" was working.

BE WELL

Amajorityofone

“As she thinks, so she is; as she continues to think, so she remains.”
― James Allen

Food for thought

Nonsensical

My addiction to alcohol used to tell me that all the time. Right after the you can control it next time lies stopped being remotely credible it moved right to the you're a loser so who cares if you're also a drunk lies.

Whatever lies it took to keep me drinking. Once I stopped believing the lies my addiction was telling me, my life improved in a hurry.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.

least

No, you're not one of the "bad people", you're sick and need to be healed. Of course you deserve a good life. We all do. I hope we can help you stop drinking for good.

Hamartia

That people care and take the time to post encouragement to me -- (me!) just blows me away. Thank you.

Kissimee54

Don't feel down. And give yourself some credit for the 7 months. You can use what you've learned to help you on the next leg of the journey.

songthread

You are a very strong person and a great person already - giving love and working and having worked good in other people's lives.

This sobriety thing is about you. And you certainly, certainly deserve it!

I know you can do it and predict you will do it. You're going to feel great. Blessings and good luck!

Lance40

This really resonates with me. Most of my life so far was spent as an atheist until I rediscovered faith about 5 months ago. The rediscovery happened accidentally and wasn't for the purpose of getting sober, but it started me in a direction that brought me to the point of wanting to make a change and it has been a power that has sustained me through my sobriety so far.

Although I do enjoy the rituals of high church and find a lot of love and support in the faith community, my personal beliefs are very unorthodox in mainstream thought. I think awareness of that possibility can be very important for people who struggle with the idea of faith or a higher power because of traditional associations or past experiences with God, gods or religion - spirituality doesn't need to have anything to do with any of that.