first day of sobriety
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Sausalito
Posts: 1
first day of sobriety
Hi all: I have been sober in the past, but I have never gotten past about 100 days or so. I have been drinking about 2 bottles of wine a day, sometimes even 3 bottles. I am a functioning alcoholic. But I live in my own private hell full of guilt and shame. I want to be sober and in recovery, but I just do not know how! I also wonder how I will ever be able to go out and meet people and date a guy, without using alcohol to relax me. I feel like I am more "fun" when I am drinking. BUT... as I said, I wake up in self loathing each morning. I am a single mom of a great kid. I want to be sober for myself but also for my daughter. She knows that I have a drinking problem, but I don't think she gets how serious my issues are. I want to make ammends to so many different people, but when I start to look at my life and all the mistakes I have made, I just want to get a bottle of wine and hide and get drunk. It is really a vicious cycle. I have a love/hate relationship with alcohol. I know that it is ruining my life and my health and my relationships. I don't exactly know what to do anymore. Help!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Guelph Ontario
Posts: 3
I feel the same way sometimes, actually all the time, just know that it can be done, I get caught in the I just want to be a normal drinker trap, but I think that by being on here and asking for help it a great sign of how you want to really live your life
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Welcome Wishful! You'll find plenty of encouragement & support here.
I sabotaged myself many times as I tried to get sober. Just as I'd begin to 'surface' and face real life, awful thoughts took over & I wanted to get numb. Once I convinced myself that nothing would get resolved or made better by drinking I was able to let go of it. It never really helps us cope - just masks our feelings & keeps us from taking charge of our lives. You can live the life you want to - be kind & patient with yourself as you heal. There's nothing we can do about the past - but we can hold our heads high and move forward into the future with a clear head. You can do this wishful.
I sabotaged myself many times as I tried to get sober. Just as I'd begin to 'surface' and face real life, awful thoughts took over & I wanted to get numb. Once I convinced myself that nothing would get resolved or made better by drinking I was able to let go of it. It never really helps us cope - just masks our feelings & keeps us from taking charge of our lives. You can live the life you want to - be kind & patient with yourself as you heal. There's nothing we can do about the past - but we can hold our heads high and move forward into the future with a clear head. You can do this wishful.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Somewhere Nice!
Posts: 423
Take some time and read here on SR. Lots of great stuff.
Go over to the Class of March 2014 thread. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-3-a.html
Lots of people posting there that have the same questions as you. There are also answers on how other folks with the same questions have proceeded towards a solution.
Go over to the Class of March 2014 thread. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-3-a.html
Lots of people posting there that have the same questions as you. There are also answers on how other folks with the same questions have proceeded towards a solution.
Last edited by Dee74; 03-15-2014 at 03:38 PM. Reason: updated march link
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
I was a wine slugging momma myself. Maybe my story might give you some strength. 
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...night-lot.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...night-lot.html
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 556
Welcome. I didn't know if I could quit again either, but the support here has been phenomenal and has helped me get to 77 days so far. I'm starting to believe I can do this.
You can, too.
Check out the March support thread in this forum. The January thread has been a lifesaver for me.
You can, too.
Check out the March support thread in this forum. The January thread has been a lifesaver for me.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 373
Originally Posted by alphaomega 
I was a wine slugging momma myself. Maybe my story might give you some strength. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...night-lot.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...night-lot.htmlMember
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 346
AO- I just read your story and you have no idea how it resonated with me. What is it with wine? No other alcohol masks the pain as much yet the anxiety it causes is terrible. I started drinking wine because I enjoyed it. I learned about it, researched it. It was a fun hobby until things in my life went sour, and then it became a tool. Not quite a year ago I started thinking it was time to quit. I've lapsed, but I know I must face life sober if I'm going to regain any type if life. Thank you for sharing.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: London, United Kingdom
Posts: 273
Originally Posted by alphaomega
I was a wine slugging momma myself. Maybe my story might give you some strength. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...night-lot.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...night-lot.htmlAlphaOmega, I've just followed your thread to your post. Amazing writing. I mirrored that behaviour, minus benzos - but they weren't far off. Thank-you for sharing it again x
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