BrokenInPieces

I've never been a particularly religious person in my adulthood, but have always been spiritual. Many times over the past 6 months or so, I've asked/prayed for a sign - something to help me come to terms with all the turmoil in my head and heart in dealing with my now x abf. Something that would point to stay or go. Something - positive or negative - pointing to the path I should take. I still didn't trust myself to make that decision all on my own.

I never got that sign. It's possible I just wasn't seeing/listening carefully enough. Maybe it was what I had been seeing all along and I simply didn't recognize it as a sign. Regardless, 6 weeks ago, I found my strength and made the decision to walk away. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I didn't want to walk away, I had to.

In the past 6 weeks, I've found myself fully embracing a new church a friend introduced me to. It's interdenominational, it's welcoming, it's uplifting, it's comforting, and it's filling a part of my life that I've felt has been missing for a very long time. The first message I heard - that very first day - was one of hope and a hope-filled future; believing and trusting that the best is yet to come. It spoke directly to me, as has every message since.

Today, while my students were at a special, I stopped for a moment to reflect. Sitting in my classroom, I actually said out loud to myself "I never got a sign", and thought for a moment that maybe I wouldn't have seen it anyway. Then, as is typical of my days, something else demanded my attention, and the moment passed.

Forty-five minutes later, my students were packed up, dismissed and on their way home. I went back to my classroom, sat down at my desk and noticed a little picture that had been left there for me by one of my students. It was a picture of a butterfly, and in her best 8 yr old handwriting, the words "Hope, Trust, Beleve"

(I forgave her for the spelling... lol)

There's my sign.

suki44883

The man whispered, "God, speak to me
And a meadowlark sang.

But, the man did not hear
So the man yelled "God, speak to me!"
And, the thunder rolled across the sky.

But, the man did not listen.

The man looked around and said,
"God let me see you"
And a star shined brightly.
But, the man did not notice.

And, the man shouted,
"God show me a miracle!"
And, a life was born.
But, the man did not know.

So, the man cried out in despair,
"Touch me God,
and let me know you are here!"

Whereupon, God reached down
and touched the man.

But, the man brushed the BUTTERFLY away and walked on.

AuntieSoso

I love signs! I've gotten some pretty amazing ones over the past year and they never fail to amaze me. Best wishes on your journey.

Yurt

Broken,

I am also a teacher, and when I was having a particularly melancholy day, my counselor friend shot off an email to me stating that my students (First Graders) would sense my mood and find a way to lift my spirits. That morning, 3 of them came up to me and told me that they loved me. It was amazing!

Mellybug

I have been doing a lot of praying and asking for signs...and paying attention to every little thing around me. What I have found is that I am now more present in the MOMENT of my days, by "Looking for Signs" than I had been before. Whether the things that have happened have been "signs" or not, who can say for sure? The important thing is that I'm now present in my life, rather than present in my HEAD.
I can say that every time I have asked for a sign, my XABF has come around and been "Sweet", so I ask myself if the sign is for me to not give up on him. I got my hopes up each and every time that he was making progress...and then the very next day he would do the same things that caused me to leave in the first place. I've finally learned that even if he is sweet, I'm living my life MY way, in my own space and time...but not completely shutting him out. I'm not "chasing" him anymore. I'm not following around trying to pester him for attention...I'm allowing him the time to come to me if/when he needs support, love, etc. I don't need to be his GF in order to be supportive and loving.
In the mean time, I keep my mind open for signs, and try to enjoy everything that life offers in each moment.

doggonecarl

Wonderful post.

But in reality, all the signs were in your first post to SR. You saw what was happening and where it was headed. And you took action.

If you were looking for signs of confirmation that you did the right thing, look no further than here:

BrokenInPieces

I now have my sign in a frame on my desk at school. I am still in "wow" over it. And I know that when feelings of doubt creep in, as they often do and without warning, I can trust and believe that He is with me always.

It's funny that so often in my life when I've asked for a sign I've chuckled at the image in my head of a giant foot coming out of the heavens and kicking me in the @ss. Because I can be stubborn and a swift kick was needed and deserved. I have to say, I like this butterfly approach. LoL. Subtle, perfectly delivered and placed, perfect timing... and perfectly received.

dandylion

This has been my experience with "signs":

I have received signs when I am ready for them. Before I have been ready--the signs can swirl about me.....and, I am blind as a bat.
When I am ready for a sign---I take the sun coming up in the morning as a sign.

dandylion