Compass7

I decided to quit drinking because I wasn't finishing my grad project, and I have had horrible anxiety and self-esteem issues. I need your opinion. I can not moderate. I have tried the "I will only have two drinks" again and again, yet I do not want to miss out on all the fun events going on either. I told a friend I would go out for St. Patty's corned beef and cabbage and I know drinks will follow (for her). My plan is to stay out and socialize with no drinking. Have many of you had success with this? I know I will be tempted. What are some of your experiences and advice on handling not drinking around others that are. I have only been sober for 12 days. I want to be strong enough to go out and not drink.

Natalie17

I've been thinking about St. Patrick's Day today too. If you're not sure if you can handle it, you probably want to skip it. You can always go out with your friends next year when you're more confident in your sobriety.

Dee74

I didn't want to miss out on things either...so I'd go...invariably I'd drink...and I'd miss out on things anyway cos I was either sick, blacked out or tossed out of the bar for being a nuisance.

This time, I stayed away from events where I knew there'd be drinking for a long time.

On one hand there's your future...on the other St Patricks day
They have St Pats day every year

Make a wise choice.

next year I think you'll be much more ready and capable to meet the day on your terms.

D

PurpleKnight

less than 2 weeks is still early days, the cravings may be too much to handle!!

BUT . . . my top tips are making sure everyone you're going to be out with knows that your not drinking, if there is even a hint of pressure or non acceptance, then it's time to pull the plug on the event, you need to be around people not pressurising you drink, they need to be supportive and be happy with you having a coke or a fruit juice, none of this "one won't hurt" business, as you and I know it WILL!!

In addition, not staying past when everyone else is drunk is important, again due to temptation, again everyone needs to know your leaving early and you need to be comfortable leaving earlier than usual.

The most important thing is a plan, when someone asks what your having, you need it on the tip of your tongue, a non alcoholic beverage, you need to have preempted prior that your not drinking and at the end of the night your escape route needs to be mapped out.

HOWEVER . . . I'm not sure 2 weeks is enough time to create a solid foundation to get through this weekend (St Patrick's)!!

At the end of the day you gotta do what you gotta do to remain Sober, whatever the cost, if that means sitting in for a few months, then that's what needs to happen!!

Hope4Life

How about making corned Beef and Cabbage at home? Or getting take out?

You are pretty early in your recovery to risk spending time around drinkers. If you do go, just make sure you have a glass of water or juice in your hand at all times and be ready to say 'No Thanks' over and over.

Good Luck!

Compass7

Wow thank you for all the great advice! I know a glass of water in the hand will really help. I plan to just go for dinner and not stay long. She will help support me, I know. And she does know and accepts that I choose not to drink. How long did it take most of you before you felt strong enough to be around other drinkers? Was there a feeling or a way that you knew deep down you would be ok and not drink?

least

Welcome to the family.

I think I'd suggest skipping the St Pat's day events. Twelve days sober is barely out of withdrawal and not yet an ingrained habit to stay sober. I'd stay home and celebrate in a healthier and safer way.

Thepatman

I second everyone. I know it's not fun to hear but it's a fact based on combined experience.

Possible yes, worth the risk? Up to you ;-)

Whatever you decide we are here for support.

least

At around six months sober I felt quite confident in my sobriety. It didn't bother me being around drinkers - well, their behavior was a bit annoying, but I had no desire to drink with them.

Aarryckha

As much as I'd like to go out, there is no way I'm strong enough. I'm going to stay home where it's safe and I don't have to deal with drunk drivers!

soberclover

Nope don't go. I had 13 years in recovery, relapsed for quite some time and now I have almost 16 months. There is no way that I will go out. I know what is out there. Way too much drinking. That is what sobriety brings; a sense of clarity about what is the next right decision and what is not. Going out on a drinking holiday is not a good choice; people go out to drink, not the food. IF your goal is the food, get take out or better yet, make your own at home.

Compass7

@ least...Thank you, you give me hope that I can still be around others and not drink. I have so many friends that drink, many are responsible drinkers and have designated drivers and/or are fine with just having one or two drinks. I wish I had that much control.

Yes I know it's early, I am going to risk it, but part of me wants to go and not drink to prove to myself that I can do it. I feel strong lately (maybe that is some kind of rookie rush).

NedStark

I have joined today myself, and I am in a very similar situation to you! I have had confidence and self esteem issues myself. Alcohol has also caused me to fall VERY far behind on my final year project due in next month.

In my opinion, if you don't feel like you can go out and not drink then don't. You haven't got anything to prove. Just make sure you stay off the beer no matter what. When you feel 100% confident then definitely go out! Fun events will come and go, do what is best for you and dealing with this!

This is a marathon, not a sprint. Perhaps skip it this year and aim to go out next year, stay sober and celebrate a successful year of sobriety! Good luck!

heath480

Compass,you don't sound at all confident that you can go out and not drink.

Early sobriety is a dangerous time,far better to stay home,stay sober and think about going out when you are stronger.

No need to put your commitment to sobriety to any test.

Compass7

Thanks Ned! A sprint it's how I do everything. It's all or nothing, that is why I'm here I was a strong person before and I believe the lack of control with my drinking for the last 14 years has created the low self esteem. I am starting to think I should reconsider the St. Patty's night out, I think the votes are 9 don't go to my 1 go. Shoot I should invite all of you over for corn beef!

PurpleKnight

I'm there!!

Aarryckha

We want you to succeed!

My St. Patrick's Day ritual used to consist of watching all the Leprechaun movies for a good laugh and drinking. I might still watch the movies because we could all use some laughter.

PurpleKnight

I've been Sober since Nov, and you know what I'm doing for St Patrick's day? I'm leaving Ireland, that's right, being around anyone Irish will drive me insane, in Ireland my usual routine would be arrive at a bar at 10 am in the morning, it's a public holiday over here, so we all have the day off, the day would then pan out with basically a pub crawl, watching many a live band and various types of food, all of which would be washed away in a sea of Guinness.

So this year, I'm going on a fishing trip to England, it's not a day off work in England so there's not that big of an emphasis on it, I'm going to enjoy watching the Rugby on Saturday afternoon with some friends, and we're going to go fishing, away from any place that serves alcohol.

I posted about this plan a few weeks ago, but thought I'd share, being around Irish people will be a bad idea, or at least those people I know, friends and family that are intent on hitting the bars all day!!

We gotta do what we gotta do to stay Sober, how much do we want it!!

Natalie17

It's good to have a plan, purpleknight. We can't anticipate every temptation, but most of us have a pretty darn good idea of when most of them are going to occur. Besides, most of us are very good at planning. Think about all of the time we used to put into planning our drinking.

PurpleKnight

Exactly Natalie, for most it was like a military operation . . . where to buy, how much to buy, making sure not to run out, where to dispose of the empties, on a night out, the taxis to and from the bar, the pre drinks, the pre pre drinks, the post drinks, the after party, making sure to get drunk, but not too drunk, there's work in the morning, getting to bed safely, though having no recollection of the night before, blacking out the night before but getting showered and shaved the next morning, and getting to work on time!!

Exhausted thinking about it all!!

Your right, apply that energy into being Sober and we can do it, we got this!!